Texas brings nothing the SEC didn't already have, not even corny dogs

DALLAS — Gravedigger. The Kick Six. Punt, Bama, Punt. The Camback.

Iconic football plays and legendary moments just don’t add as much to a college football rivalry as… corn dogs and turkey legs?

Is that how Texas coach Steve Sarkisian’s comments on Wednesday at 2024 Southeastern Conference Media Days should be interpreted?

More likely, Sarkisian was just covering for his boss. Or maybe Sarkisian just has a Fletcher’s fetish.

To explain: Last month at the SEC spring meetings in Destin, FL, Texas athletic director Chris Del Conte — reminding the SEC how lucky it was to join Texas — droned on about how the Red River Rivalry between Texas and Oklahoma was now the SEC’s premier grudge match.

“Have you been to the Red River Rivalry yet?” Del Conte asked SEC Network star Paul Finebaum. “It’s ridiculous. It’s the greatest thing ever. You may talk about the Cocktail Party (Florida vs. Georgia), the Iron Bowl (Alabama vs. Auburn). It’s nothing like this game.”

Yeah. Texas-Oklahoma overshadows Alabama’s Jalen Milroe completing a last-second game-winning pass last year. Or Auburn’s Chris Davis returning a missed field goal 109 yards for a win in 2013. Or Cam Newton leading a dramatic come-from-behind 28-27 victory in 2010. Or Auburn’s Bill Newton blocking consecutive punts for touchdowns in the final five minutes in 1972.

Bryan Terry/USA Today Network

With the Cotton Bowl split between Crimson and Burnt Orange down the 50-yard line, the 2024 edition of the Red River Rivalry will be held in Dallas on Oct. 12.

Anyone who follows college football knows that’s ridiculous.

But Sarkisian, perhaps the good soldier, had his boss’ back.

Sarkisian, once Alabama’s offensive coordinator, has coached in both games.

On Wednesday, he was asked why Del Conte would make that absurd statement.

“This is the most unique game, for sure, that I’ve ever been a part of,” Sarkisian said. “When you pull into the State Fair (of Texas), and you start smelling those corn dogs and turkey legs, and there’s fans from both teams, and then you get in those locker rooms, and the locker rooms literally are 20 feet apart, and you’re staring at each team, and one goes first, the next one goes next, and it can get a little contentious in there, but that’s OK.”

Sarkisian went on to rave about how there is a 50-50 split of fans in a dilapidated Cotton Bowl.

Of course, it’s the same when Georgia and Florida square off every year in Jacksonville in what was once known as the World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party.

Hey, Lindsay Scott’s miraculous game-winning 92-yard touchdown catch-and-run in 1980 is nothing compared to Oklahoma beating Texas on a three-yard pass last season.

Texas’ misguided self-perceptions of superiority aren’t new.

Just a few weeks ago, Longhorn quarterback Quinn Ewers said: “We’re going to be everybody’s biggest game, for sure.”

Apparently, he’d forgotten Georgia, Alabama, Tennessee, Texas A&M, LSU, Missouri and nine other teams also reside in the SEC.

Also, frequently at SEC Media Days, reporters covering the Longhorns have asked coaches like LSU’s Brian Kelly, Ole Miss’ Lane Kiffin and Georgia’s Kirby Smart to laud the Longhorns.

Jerome Miron-USA TODAY Sports

The Longhorns have three SEC road games this fall: Nashville, Fayetteville and College Station. Kyle Field has added over 20,000 seats since Texas’ last visit in 2011.

Smart was asked: “You have Texas this year. Do you consider them to be one of the best, and what stands out to you about them?”

“Every team we play is the best that week,” Smart deadpanned. “Please understand that. In the SEC, humility is a week away.”

Well, maybe not in Austin.

Even legendary Alabama coach-turned-analyst Nick Saban was taken aback by requests to butter up the Horns.

“What kinda tickles me is all these people asking these questions about how Texas always ran the conference they were in,” Saban said. “They’re not gonna run the SEC. There’s a whole lot of arrogant people in a lot of places in the SEC. You know about that. They’ll be a great team and a great program, and Sark will do a great job, but that’s not gonna be a problem.”

Sarkisian said Texas’ goal is to contend for the conference championship.

No problem with that. That’s what every SEC team aspires to do.

But even that was said with an air of superiority.

“At the University of Texas, the standard is the standard,” he said. “Part of that standard is our culture. Our culture is what makes us who we are. We take a lot of pride in our culture. We pour into our culture. We are a very connected group. We love one another. We work with one another. That’s not going to change.”

It’s not like there isn’t standards and great cultures elsewhere in the SEC.

Georgia, which won national championships in 2021 and 2022, has it.

Alabama, which won six national titles under Saban, has it.

LSU, which won a national title in 2019 and is aiming for a third straight season with at least ten wins, has it.

Other teams have strong cultures or are building them.

Texas’ football program doesn’t offer anything the SEC already has.

Not even corn dogs.

It’s just that SEC corn dogs weren’t at the State Fair. They were in Baton Rouge.