I got a kick out of this Sooner site.

http://beinsane.com/Longhorn%20Bob.htm

He posted a transcript of Bob's crap-filled attempts at sounding profound. What I got out of this was:

1) Bob should not be hanging out at the Crescent hotel bar paying $9 for a $4 glass of Weller if he is a failed stock broker who has to retreat to Wortham in order to make a living.

2) If you are trying to suck up, don't order third rate Whisky.

3) His boss sounded like a complete moron and should not be sourced as some sort of life lesson

4) Wheeler is a long winded buffoon who makes the most idiotic followers of the various Big 12 schools look normal by comparison.

Paste that into Microsoft Word, run a word count, and you get this:

Pages: 6
Words: 3,914
Characters (no spaces): 16,510
Characters (with spaces): 20,430

I estimate he burned 2,200 calories writing that. He could have used them just as wisely by instead retiring to a secluded place for three hours with Playboy's Girls of the Big XII.

Wheeler writes like Cowtown Raider. Is his book like that too? No offense, Cowtown, but that would drive me crazy reading an entire book written in that style.

I think that was awesome. No wonder Bob's a sure-fire best selling author, at least in Texas where he's revered. There was a lot of wisdom in those words. If you don't appreciate that, then you don't know good writing.

I'll tell you one thing, if Longhorn Bob ever runs against slick Ricky Perry, for the Governor's seat, he's got my vote dadgumit.