Have a semi-similar situation that just popped up with my in-laws (not really concerning inheritance though). Sister-in-law and her husband have decided that the only way to get out their rent house is to get my in-laws to give them an acre to put a double-wide on. While they act like this plan is a necessity, I feel that it's important to point out that he makes pretty good money in the oilfield (never got laid off), but drives a King Ranch F-350 that he bought a few months ago. He's also bought a $25k camper and a decked out can-am side-by-side within the last few years. He also goes on at least two guided hunts a year. She stays home with kids (two in school, two at home) and drives a top of the line Explorer. Two older kids are from her first marriage, child support is basically non-existant from what I can tell. If you can't tell by their spending habits, neither are very bright.

The trailer will be right next to my in-laws house, and while they try to be nice they don't like him. He's an arrogant *******, and they think he's too hard on the stepkids (he is, but they are turds so they probably need it). But they won't say no because they want to help their daughter and they like the idea of the grandkids being close. They will be in each other's business constantly, and it's not a matter of if it all blows up, but when and how big.

To make it more interesting, they are dead-set that the acre will be in her name only, but I know for a fact that her credit is so bad that they won't be able to put her on the loan for the double-wide. So who knows how that shakes out.

We've told both sides it's a bad idea, but not much else we can do. I think everyone involved knows it is. SIL and husband know that the in-laws won't say no and are going to take advantage of that. God forbid they get rid of some stuff and change their lifestyle so they can buy a house.

We're not worried about inheritance or anything (it's ~12 acres and most of it is bottoms/floodplain), but just want to avoid a bad situation for everyone's sake. Like is said, it's not a matter of if but when they get into a big fight.

Potential solution would be for your in laws to offer to set up and buy a mobile home for them and charge them 'rent to own.'

Might help with entitlement mentality. The grown children get to stop 'throwing money away rent' and the parents don't cede complete control of their land.

It would have to be clear that they would be renting to own the mobile home, not the land beneath it.

If it ever comes to a head with your inlaws and the son in law, they can evict them and pay out his share of the mobile home.

T&P to everyone who is going through these difficult family situations. I've been a witness to a similar situation with my parents and my sibling's family for the last 25 years. They were lucky to have a few good years living near each other on the ranch in the beginning, but all relationships are now irreconcilably fractured. My parents gave and gave, and my sibling's family took and took. Arguments and fights happened between the two parties, battle lines drawn. My father passed away nearly 10 years ago and my mother has been under hospice care for the last year, but the animosity and 'taking' still continues this very day. Sad.

My advice is to make peace with the situation and live your life to your best ability. Treat everyone with kindness (as much as humanly possible). Knowing that you have been blessed with so much should be enough...at least, that is what I tell myself.

Is it just me, or does everyone wince in concern when this thread gets brought to the top...

Great reading, but man do I feel for the OP's parents.

one MEEN Ag said:

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Potential solution would be for your in laws to offer to set up and buy a mobile home for them and charge them 'rent to own.'

Might help with entitlement mentality. The grown children get to stop 'throwing money away rent' and the parents don't cede complete control of their land.

It would have to be clear that they would be renting to own the mobile home, not the land beneath it.

If it ever comes to a head with your inlaws and the son in law, they can evict them and pay out his share of the mobile home.

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I doubt the in-laws have the means to swing that.

What's ironic is that they just bought this acre that was adjacent to their property last year because they didn't want neighbors.

SIL has always been a taker, and not just from her parents. She always expects everyone to drop what they're doing to help her out. Sadly that mentality is getting passed down, too. My father-in-law recently gave all the grandkids $20 while we were over there for no reason. One of her older kids (I think he's around 8) told him that wasn't enough, he needed $100.

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he needed $100.

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Whoa.

Update to my story: Mobile home company wanted them to put "way too much" down (not sure of exact amount), so we all dodged a bullet.

histag10 said:

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ElephantRider said:

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Update to my story: Mobile home company wanted them to put "way too much" down (not sure of exact amount), so we all dodged a bullet.

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Were they expecting a 30 year FHA type loan with less than 5% down?

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Who knows. They had to put down $1,000 refundable deposit to start the process, they probably thought that was all it would take. They're not smart.

I just found this thread and wow I feel so bad for you OP and wishing you and the fam the absolute best. Your sister and BIL sound like they have some soul searching to do and I pray that your nephew is ok especially with his condition

Things will all work out in the end, but I just hope your sister realizes the stress she is putting on your parents and takes a big look in the mirror at the person she is/has become. She and BIL sound to be a little narcissistic which is common in older siblings.

Dude this is family. All your stuff Is junk.

We would never do this. If I'm looked at as weak for treating my family with respect, so be it.

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call a family meeting with an attorney expert

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Somewhere way back in this massive saga, I posted that our parents refuse to get lawyers involved. That is still the case. We're just going to ride it out. Truthfully, we were never counting on anything from this property anyway assuming that they would need to sell at some point for living expenses as they advance in age & possible health issues present themselves or worsen.

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How is your nephew?

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Thank you for asking, Dr. Venkman. He turned 13 last week! There is not improvement, nor will there be, but his meds keep him going with adjustments here & there. Overall, pretty good.