We like having an extra bedroom. Do what you want.

Save the money and take the wife on badass trips throughout the year.

Kids aren't really particular about the home they grow up in. We all wanted to GTFO out ours growing up, and so did friends with nicer homes.

Howdy Dammit said:

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jwoodmd said:

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NoahAg said:

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The notion of "starter" and "forever" homes is kind of depressing in a way. I can't say I haven't fallen in the same trap though.

My grandparents (and I'm sure many of your grandparents) built their home in the early 50's and stayed there until granddad died and then grandmother moved into a home a few years later. It was a 3/2/2, 1400 SF one story in north Dallas. A lot of people today would find it shocking to raise 3 kids in a home of that size, never move, never upgrade.

One of my regrets is not trying to buy it from my grandmother when she moved out. Kinda hard as a 22 year old college student, lol.

Anyway, not sure what I was rambling about. We moved out of our 2000 SF home after 12 years, into a 3000 SF home that will be too big for us when my youngest graduates in a couple of years. I've thought about moving back into our first home (we still rent it out).

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Everything comes full circle. We laugh that now the last kid is in college that we would rather be living in our "starter" home now than our "forever" home (which btw is our third "forever' home!)

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Forever home can have more at play than just size. Our forever home is tied into acreage. I grew up wandering around with my pellet gun shooting squirrels and fishing. We aren't just looking for a big house in a cookie cutter neighborhood.

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For sure and know that. We've always had land around any of our homes. My wife and I both grew up on ranches (although my wife grew up on a huge ranch lol).

Heineken-Ashi said:

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You're talking about a generation that either lived through and fought in a World War, or they were the children of those who did. In their life economic depression was barely in the rearview. This is the generation that built the economy back. They were the hardest workers, the biggest penny pinchers, the most frugal. Tough times create tough men. Tough men create good times. Good times create weak men. And today, we have nothing but weak men. It will eventually come full circle and multiple generations will feel actual, real struggle for the first time ever. And it's not going to be pretty. The children that follow them will be just like your grandparents though.

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Yep that was my grandparents. Born in 1917 and 1919. Greatest generation.

Nitpick: it drives me nuts that we term so many things incorrectly.

Why do we call the house you are going to raise your kids in your "forever home" when it most assuredly won't be for 9 out of 10 people? It should be related to raising your kids.

Your forever home is going to be the last place you live in before you die and for many this will be a nursing home and not the place you raised your kids.

My parents (stupidly) are building a house at 81 and 80 years of age. This will be the third house they've built since they moved out of the house I grew up in.

We bought a 4 bedroom "forever home" when we had only 2 kids. We liked our first home, but moved to a better neighborhood with better schools. Had a third kid a couple years after moving here. Use the media room as guest space for visitors. That room would be a complete waste of space otherwise. Same with the game room. It's literally just a storage area.

My dream home (on acreage) is one bedroom for my wife and I with two large bunk rooms for grandkids. Then three casitas for my kids and their spouses to stay in when they visit.

For me, our 3200sf house could be just as functional with about 2500 better allocated space.

That is the dream to me as well. Hoping to be able to build something like that as a weekend getaway that eventually transitions into something more permanent as retirement inches closer and we are empty nesters.

We're basically doing that now. 2300ft2 3/2 with a large bunk/rec room...to use now when we can and then into retirement down the road. I still don't call it a "forever home" though. Love our current home but it's bigger than we need now - and will certainly be way too big (and expensive) once our kids are gone.

You're not new here.

True true

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My parents (stupidly) are building a house at 81 and 80 years of age.

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They aren't the only ones their age doing that.... I see it all the time.

texAZtea said:

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Heineken-Ashi said:

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You're talking about a generation that either lived through and fought in a World War, or they were the children of those who did. In their life economic depression was barely in the rearview. This is the generation that built the economy back. They were the hardest workers, the biggest penny pinchers, the most frugal. Tough times create tough men. Tough men create good times. Good times create weak men. And today, we have nothing but weak men. It will eventually come full circle and multiple generations will feel actual, real struggle for the first time ever. And it's not going to be pretty. The children that follow them will be just like your grandparents though.

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They were tough for sure.

I would argue that there are plenty of tough men left, but we're having to marry the daughter's y'all raised which is driving the "need" for a 3000 sqft house to raise 2 kids.

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Look at congress. More weak men and men lacking morals than good, tough men. Representative of the population. Sure, there's always strong men. But strong men aren't running the show. Corrupt men are. And corruption is sourced from weakness.

I have a kid in the house for 5 more years and then we'll be set - 1800 sq ft 3/2/2. Great location and lower taxes. Cruise into retirement. Less is more and I'm happy to pay visitors hotel during holidays. Also I like the smaller place bc I always know what my kid is getting into.

jamey said:

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Politics has become a con game, a nursery for grifters.

There's always been some degree of that in anything but politicians use to be better people who actually cared about the US and the citizens they served. Now we're just the target of grifters.

Otherwise theese sacks of **** talk about important things like the debt. They would lead instead of follow whatever BS nonsense is the latest meme and social media craze

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Amen
A
Freaking
Men

Apache said:

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Quote:

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My parents (stupidly) are building a house at 81 and 80 years of age.

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They aren't the only ones their age doing that.... I see it all the time.

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It's nuts. They live in a badass house that's long been paid for in a nice neighborhood and they know everyone around them and have a full support system...and they all hang out. Going to move away from that because Mom is scared if something happens to Dad she will be out there all alone.

Tried to convince them (1) stay where they are because if something happens to Dad my brother and I are going to show up and deal with it then (2) buy don't build if you are going to move because you are f'ing 81 (3) move closer to us if you are going to move..

Shot down all of them. My mom is stubborn as hell but at the end of the day it's their life so you just roll with it.

My wife has declared the house we live in is our forever home come heck or high otters. There are way nicer houses out there, but this one is ours.

But just because she's settled on the house doesn't mean the checkbook has been put away. There's talks every summer of building a pool. Don't tell us buy a home with a pool, if I wanted a 40 year old kidney shaped pool I could've bought it years ago.

My wife and I have had a few "forever" homes. We're in year 3 in one now, but honestly I'd move for a bigger yard (if interest rates get to 3% again).



I'm going to be different than the other guys - I say get a guest bedroom. I have a 5 year old and a 8 year old - their favorite times are when we have family stay with us (sometimes they have kids, sometimes they don't, sometimes my sister brings 2 dogs, other times she doesn't).

Having family stay is inconvenient, stressful, affects your quantity and quality of sleep, but like someone said above you can never get that time back. Just do it for your family (not just your kids).


If you're family members are 30 minutes away, they might as well be 3 hours away - you'll only see them for special occasions. When I lived in McKinney, I'd only see my family in Grapevine (45ish minutes) as often as I saw them when I lived in Austin (3 hours).



My rules for moving:
1) Find great schools (even if you don't have kids)
2) Move within 10 MINUTES of family that can help with your kids
3) Close to work is a bonus

I live 5 minutes away from my father-in-law and his second wife, and 10 minutes from my mother-in-law and her second husband. I can complain about them all day, but living near them is the best thing for my family. They help at least once a week, and my wife and I have no problems leaving our kids with them for adult only vacations. My sister-in-law lives 4 hours away, and they can barely watch her kids for 4 hours.

Howdy Dammit said:

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Interested in hearing opinions/consensus.

Currently live in a 3/2 house. Wife and I have two kids under 2 years old. Both sets of inlaws live several hours away. It's a major issue not having a guest room when they come to stay. Grandparents weren't built for sleeping on couches/air mattresses.

Because of this, wife wants to upgrade to our "forever" home that the kids will spend their childhood in. I wanted to do this in 2-3 years when we have at least 3 children. Her argument is that if you're gonna do it in 2-3 years, then why not now when the market is so slow. Take the hit on our current less expensive house and get the more expensive house at a discount. For some reason in my brain I just want to wait, but not sure there's a good reason to.

Thoughts? Concerns? Advice on when to buy a forever home regardless of the market?

Thanks

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Do you have the option to do something like convert the garage to a gameroom/bedroom for grandparents and build a carport or have a camper/rv out back that would make for fun travel for family and a place for grands? I guess...what are your options besides go bigger?

Yall are too young for a Forever House/Home.

Your wife just wants an upgrade.

If you don't placate, she might upgrade to a new dude. But I doubt that.