ChoppinDs40 said:
I write this as I lay in my hotel bed, traveling for work, with what feels like strep throat. Fun trip with fantastic sleep the last couple of nights.
Maybe a bit off topic but reading this thread and everyone's stories resonates with me quite a bit. For those that are "retired now and loving it" to "I'm still grinding and I don't really know why?" And the "im aggressively saving but not sure what the future really holds".
Myself, a newly minted 37, wife 35, 2 kids under 5.
Life has a weird way of molding your fears, desires, goals, dreams and what you want to leave as your legacy. Often times those can directly conflict one another and prioritization of each changes like the color of leaves in the many seasons of life.
I was raised in a lower to middle class family in a small farming community. The word retirement wasn't really in anyone's vocabulary - not uncommon for families that rely on agriculture for survival. The only people I've seen make it to "retirement" are my father (who still works part time because he could never truly be retired) and now uncle. Another uncle is close but has to find a way to offload his chicken farming operation. These are individuals in their late 60s and 70s.
I have many hobbies and interest, none of which I can dedicate enough time to due to current stage in life - corporate grind and 2 small kids. I want to aggressively move to "retire early" - say 55.
My wife and I have both have moderately successful careers that have taken significant time, investment, and sacrifice to reach this point.
As the kids grow (one is an infant), I feel the struggle and pull of those priority items above more than ever.
Fortunately, our careers give us the financial means to have this conflict but it is somewhat a… burden? In making the right decision.
If you got this far, you're probably asking "what the hell is this guy talking about?".
Real life financial questions, planning, and goals we battle with often consume me.
Before kids, we traveled. Not YOLO travel but got to enjoy and see many parts of the world. I didn't get on a plane for the first time until I was 14.
Now, with kids, travel is harder than ever and often times less enjoyable or impactful due to their age (and my god the cost of doing anything these days besides a "cheap trip to the beach"). But, I got my 4 year old up and skiing this spring by herself and it was one of the most proud moments I've felt in my entire life.
Now the conflict… dedicate the time, money, effort, etc to skiing as much as we can to enjoy this time now? Or continue the grind and say "when they're older". Skiing isn't a frugal man's game, especially for a Texan.
Spend money on those memories now? Or make damn well sure their college is fully funded.
Buy that piece of property in Colorado now? Or "sock that away and get to the goal of 55 quicker".
I love to golf and we have a golf club membership. I can in no way justify the cost anymore, today, given how much I play but the moment little man wants to swing a club, I'll be itching to get him out there as much as possible.
Put in a pool so the kids want to be at "your house" or save the $150k (Gdamn the price of pools since Covid feels like a racket)?
We're by no means misers but still feel like we're lacking in both departments - retire early and make awesome memories in our kids younger lives - which fuels our drive to make more money to bridge the gap.
We want to be able to do both (who doesn't?) but unfortunately our careers suck up much of our time and, in the same vein, are the only means (at least it feels) to be able to do both.
I guess what I'm trying to say is… time is the enemy. You need time to make those memories but also have to dedicate time to earn the ability to make the memories you want. I want to provide all those things for them but it comes at a cost. Couple that with family health history and it's not unrealistic for me (or really anyone) to drop dead at 60.
It feels like something will have to give - that decision and its consequences are what keep me up at night the most.
We'll continue to enjoy the ride and make it work but man is it hard to be talking about buying a vacation property in one sentence, retiring early in another, 529ing two colleges, ski trips with the family all whilst scouring the weekly grocery ads to see when strawberries go on sale.
Ski thread gang unite.
Where are you on the path to Financial Independence? At some point the lever tips from what you put in vs. market returns.
We hit that point last year and have re-oriented our life to prioritize time and attention on our daughter. "Coast FIRE" is the trendy term, for us it just means we've down-scoped savings to only my 401(k), my wife is now part-time (effective this week) and we increased investment in time/memories (via a campervan). I'm fully remote in PST and work EST hours. I'm done at 2P everyday and have no desire to move up or play the corporate game. Work is a means to an end and I'm on the bike / skiing a few afternoons a week or grabbing my daughter from school to go do something. Pre-downshift modeling (we use
https://projectionlab.com/), had is FI around 42-43. With downshift it's now 45-46. No regrets stopping the stockpiling to realize time gains today for a delay of FI by a few years. We drilled it (high rate of savings + chased comp/degrees) in our 20s and early 30s to get here and we delayed having kids until 32. We lived in Houston until 33 (37 now) which which was critical to our position today (bought a home in '12, good comp, and low expenses). We wanted the life we have now and made the change to OR.
We contemplated a ski house in Bend or Hood River. But the van made more sense to us. Our weekend warrior ski regime used to be wake up Saturday at 5:30A to fight traffic for the 5 year old's ski school/team drop off at 8A and fight traffic back home. Now we drive up Friday night, ski a little, then sleep in the lot/sno-park, ski, apres in van after, sleep and do it again Sunday. So time efficiency was the main play.
But beyond that, this summer in the van we've been to Yosemite, Glacier, Bend (x4), Tahoe, Redwoods, Crater (x 2). We're somewhere in it almost every weekend (this weekend was Hood River / Hood for MTB). We're back in Bend to ride the aspens in two weeks. North Cascade Nat late October hunting the larch color change. Meeting the TX fam in Park City for Christmas. Wife wants to go back to Tahoe and ski sometime this winter. Spring break we're skiing Crystal > Baker > Whistler. Our memories with her are outside and all over and I'm here for it.
I really like spending time with my wife and daughter. I also really like riding my bikes and skiing. I'll do anything to maximize time for those items now while I'm healthy. There's also this feedback loop of grateful / fulfilled / healthy that fills our cup as parents. I don't really know what I'm trying to say, but my wife is a better mom when she has a few hours in her garden or goes for a hike; I'm a better dad when I have a few hours to ride by bike around the mountain. Every minute is an investment somewhere and an opportunity cost somewhere else. So when it's daughter time I feel fully equipped to commit in the moment. I'm not ruminating work, thinking about XYZ thing I want to do, etc. etc.
I also hope that all those hours on the bike will buy me a few years down the road on life span.
At least that's what I tell my wife.
Final on a unrelated note, don't prioritize taxable over tax-advantage to fund an early retirement. We've covered this so many times on this board. Roth Ladder or SEPPs provide you early access to 401(k) or IRAs. They are extremely flexible: Ladders you just need to consider tax brackets; SEPPs you can open an IRA and transfer the amount you need to fund the periodic payments - you can create endless IRAs to structure the right cash flow. For insurance, Obamacare, subsidies and tax cliffs. Do your research and structure your income stream accordingly. As always, it's a game of what amount of income and manipulating your tax bracket.