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Enjoying one's wealth as one gets older

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BenTheGoodAg
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8:16p, 8/28/24
AG
I really struggle with enjoying wealth today because I feel like I'm stealing from myself and my family in the future. I grew up in a farming community and delayed gratification is just a way of life. I also watched so many in my grandad's generation work on their farm until they were 80, finally retire, and then die within months because they were physically spent and they hadn't worked on other purposes in their life. It has helped me realize I need to think differently.

I have a lot of respect for my grandad's work ethic - he grew up in the Great Depression, and he loved his family through hard work and gave them everything he had, so it wasn't coming from a bad place. But I also want to do better to balance enjoying life throughout and find ways to experience life with my family so that when I retire I'm not trying to redefine myself.

I'm getting better at it, but it doesn't come naturally. Just speaking for myself, it's less about enjoying wealth as I get older, and more about learning to balance life today and in the future.
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AgOutsideAustin
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In reply to AG81xx • 8:51p, 8/28/24
AG
AG81xx said:
One thing I've noticed is happening to our parent's and our generation is as people are living longer, you accumulate some meaningful wealth, but you end up not passing it to the next generation until they are also too old to spend it, and they do the same, and the money never gets enjoyed.

My wife and I are passing some of our wealth to our kids and grandkids by paying for family vacations. They get a free vacation they may not take if they pay themselves, and we get to spend time with them and the grandkids. We control where the money is spent, and never have regrets on what they spent it on if we just gave them money.

It's a win-win for everyone. Our goal is to spend it on them and us now. If we just pass in on when we die, we will never get to watch them enjoy it.

But I also did lots of "what if" cases to make sure we have enough to last our lives.



Great for you and them! Everyone enjoys the money. My parents in law took my family on a bunch of cruises and a Disney trip. Then my father in law passed away years ago and it all stopped. Mother in law is scared to spend any money and thinks she will run out. She has long term care insurance. She is mid 80's that might live another 10 years and will pass away with a large investment account and a paid off house. Our family talks about those trips often so keep going on them as long as you can.
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EliteZags
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In reply to 94chem • 11:06p, 8/28/24
AG
94chem said:
If you've been responsible saving your whole life, trust that you'll be responsible spending too. I realized that with the market doing so well and with interest rates so high, the 10% penalty on early withdrawals isn't a big deal. Just sayin.'

10% penalty shouldn't ever come into consideration unless you've completed ignored existence of Roth ladder
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ChoppinDs40
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4:50a, 8/29/24
AG
I write this as I lay in my hotel bed, traveling for work, with what feels like strep throat. Fun trip with fantastic sleep the last couple of nights.

Maybe a bit off topic but reading this thread and everyone's stories resonates with me quite a bit. For those that are "retired now and loving it" to "I'm still grinding and I don't really know why?" And the "im aggressively saving but not sure what the future really holds".

Myself, a newly minted 37, wife 35, 2 kids under 5.

Life has a weird way of molding your fears, desires, goals, dreams and what you want to leave as your legacy. Often times those can directly conflict one another and prioritization of each changes like the color of leaves in the many seasons of life.

I was raised in a lower to middle class family in a small farming community. The word retirement wasn't really in anyone's vocabulary - not uncommon for families that rely on agriculture for survival. The only people I've seen make it to "retirement" are my father (who still works part time because he could never truly be retired) and now uncle. Another uncle is close but has to find a way to offload his chicken farming operation. These are individuals in their late 60s and 70s.

I have many hobbies and interest, none of which I can dedicate enough time to due to current stage in life - corporate grind and 2 small kids. I want to aggressively move to "retire early" - say 55.

My wife and I have both have moderately successful careers that have taken significant time, investment, and sacrifice to reach this point.

As the kids grow (one is an infant), I feel the struggle and pull of those priority items above more than ever.

Fortunately, our careers give us the financial means to have this conflict but it is somewhat a… burden? In making the right decision.

If you got this far, you're probably asking "what the hell is this guy talking about?".

Real life financial questions, planning, and goals we battle with often consume me.

Before kids, we traveled. Not YOLO travel but got to enjoy and see many parts of the world. I didn't get on a plane for the first time until I was 14.

Now, with kids, travel is harder than ever and often times less enjoyable or impactful due to their age (and my god the cost of doing anything these days besides a "cheap trip to the beach"). But, I got my 4 year old up and skiing this spring by herself and it was one of the most proud moments I've felt in my entire life.

Now the conflict… dedicate the time, money, effort, etc to skiing as much as we can to enjoy this time now? Or continue the grind and say "when they're older". Skiing isn't a frugal man's game, especially for a Texan.

Spend money on those memories now? Or make damn well sure their college is fully funded.

Buy that piece of property in Colorado now? Or "sock that away and get to the goal of 55 quicker".

I love to golf and we have a golf club membership. I can in no way justify the cost anymore, today, given how much I play but the moment little man wants to swing a club, I'll be itching to get him out there as much as possible.

Put in a pool so the kids want to be at "your house" or save the $150k (Gdamn the price of pools since Covid feels like a racket)?

We're by no means misers but still feel like we're lacking in both departments - retire early and make awesome memories in our kids younger lives - which fuels our drive to make more money to bridge the gap.

We want to be able to do both (who doesn't?) but unfortunately our careers suck up much of our time and, in the same vein, are the only means (at least it feels) to be able to do both.

I guess what I'm trying to say is… time is the enemy. You need time to make those memories but also have to dedicate time to earn the ability to make the memories you want. I want to provide all those things for them but it comes at a cost. Couple that with family health history and it's not unrealistic for me (or really anyone) to drop dead at 60.

It feels like something will have to give - that decision and its consequences are what keep me up at night the most.

We'll continue to enjoy the ride and make it work but man is it hard to be talking about buying a vacation property in one sentence, retiring early in another, 529ing two colleges, ski trips with the family all whilst scouring the weekly grocery ads to see when strawberries go on sale.
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MAS444
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In reply to ChoppinDs40 • 7:29a, 8/29/24
AG
You're way ahead of me if you're already having these thoughts at 37. You've got lots of time and you're going to be more than fine. Continue to grind but take those ski trips with the kids! You'll never regret it and you'll never get those years back.
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AG81xx
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In reply to ChoppinDs40 • 7:51a, 8/29/24
AG
Everyone's situation is different depending on when they have kids.
In my generation my wife and I married "early" (I was 24) and had both our kids before 30. We both continued to work, but our whole lives evolved around work and raising kids. Wasn't too much time for travel and personal hobbies (I lived in Wyoming but hardly had time to ever hunt or fish). Once the kids get in school it gets worse with all your time devoted to their activities. As they got older we did domestic family vacations (went to all 50 states) during summer and spring breaks, nothing really expensive. We did the pool expense when we moved back to Texas and that was worth it as our house became a place they and their friends wanted to be.
We were in our mid 40's when they were both at A&M, so for the next 10 years we traveled extensively by ourselves and worked, with those last 10 years being our highest income years. That's when we really socked away money for retirement. We both retired in our early 50's after both of us working 30 years each. We traveled a lot until grandkids have kept us home more.
Been retired now for 13 yrs and have almost doubled our savings in the stock market. All about starting to save early and letting it compound.

Now take our two children. Both got good jobs out of A&M but didn't get married and have children till their mid thirties. They enjoyed their single years working and traveled extensively (our youngest took a one year honeymoon). I can't see either of them being able to retire early because of their "late starts" in raising a family. Pretty much the new norm with their generation.

A little bit of when to choose to have your fun years. Kids will limit your spending ( zero time for hobbies), but cost you a lot to send to college. Either way start saving early and adjust your spending so saving is always first. Got to have some money to make money.
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txaggie_08
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In reply to AG81xx • 8:00a, 8/29/24
AG
Timing of kids is a big part of it. We had our first at 36, so we'd be 58 by the time she graduates college. If we (hopefully) have another in the next year or so, we'd be 61+ by the time they graduated college. Crazy to think about.

Still hoping we're able to retire before 60.
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Tumble Weed
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In reply to EliteZags • 9:06a, 8/29/24
EliteZags said:
94chem said:
If you've been responsible saving your whole life, trust that you'll be responsible spending too. I realized that with the market doing so well and with interest rates so high, the 10% penalty on early withdrawals isn't a big deal. Just sayin.'

10% penalty shouldn't ever come into consideration unless you've completed ignored existence of Roth ladder
This kind of quality advice is why I continue to read TexAgs.

I am 48 and this is perfect timing for me. The ladder will give me more flexibility.
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Comeby!
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9:13a, 8/29/24
AG
Lots of great insight here that's gives me much to think about.
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beerad12man
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In reply to AG81xx • 10:19a, 8/29/24
AG
AG81xx said:
One thing I've noticed is happening to our parent's and our generation is as people are living longer, you accumulate some meaningful wealth, but you end up not passing it to the next generation until they are also too old to spend it, and they do the same, and the money never gets enjoyed.

My wife and I are passing some of our wealth to our kids and grandkids by paying for family vacations. They get a free vacation they may not take if they pay themselves, and we get to spend time with them and the grandkids. We control where the money is spent, and never have regrets on what they spent it on if we just gave them money.

It's a win-win for everyone. Our goal is to spend it on them and us now. If we just pass in on when we die, we will never get to watch them enjoy it.

But I also did lots of "what if" cases to make sure we have enough to last our lives.
Great advice. I agree.

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beerad12man
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10:24a, 8/29/24
AG
ChoppinDs has decisions to make that 99% of people who have walked this planet will never have the luxury of doing. It's really hard to sympathize, even if his points also hold true to lower levels of income, too. They all remain the same.

You are trapped in a world where you think the only way to make great memories is through material items. I promise, always err to the side of LESS materialistic goods and focus on quality time, and you'll end up happier and more fulfilled in life.
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RightWingConspirator
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In reply to beerad12man • 10:33a, 8/29/24
AG
To your point, my kids have never been out of the country. We don't have a pool, nor do we have a vacation property. Further, I make my girls pay for their own college. I pick up their groceries and apartment payment, but they pay for books and tuition from money they saved. While we're millionaires these days, we feel the benefit provided to them by not getting them used to extravagances has led to a very close knit and bonded family with kids that are very well grounded in the principles of hard work and self-reliance.
"But it is easier to purchase products that denote superiority than to be actually superior in economic achievement." - Thomas J. Stanley
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ChoppinDs40
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In reply to beerad12man • 10:48a, 8/29/24
AG
beerad12man said:
ChoppinDs has decisions to make that 99% of people who have walked this planet will never have the luxury of doing. It's really hard to sympathize, even if his points also hold true to lower levels of income, too. They all remain the same.

You are trapped in a world where you think the only way to make great memories is through material items. I promise, always err to the side of LESS materialistic goods and focus on quality time, and you'll end up happier and more fulfilled in life.
Was waiting and expecting a response like this. You're right - most people won't have to deal with those decisions. My point about my childhood is that the decisions about building a pool, going to Mexico or not, paying for kids' college or retiring early didn't exist - it's a luxury.

However, like many people, they want to provide their children what they themselves were not. And that comes at a cost, whether financial, or time spent.

My dad coached my baseball teams growing up - it was great. At this point, I doubt I'll ever get to do that for my own son.

My suggestion isn't to merely "buy things" or spoil them but you really want to make the time that you DO have with them really count and experience things that I wasn't able to as a kid.

The ship has sailed, at least for some time, on the notion to "well, just get a job where you work less". Now we're talking no early retirement, doubtful on paying for college and setting them up and still potentially dying at 60.

Unfortunately, given hereditary health patterns, there's a very real possibility that I won't get to experience retirement at all. Which brings up the legacy and future planning component. I'm not suggesting being a dead beat dad like Robin Williams from Hook but I certainly want to prioritize leaving my wife and kids with financial stability to sustain should I leave this plane earlier than expected.
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JMac03
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11:00a, 8/29/24
AG
Take those trips. You can still save and take family vacations. Growing up, we did small vacations every year (Schlitterbahn), and big trips every 3-4 years (Disney, etc). We also had a trailer up at the lake. Those are things that made me have an amazing childhood and memories I will have for the rest of my life.

As our kids get older, we are more about experiences and not gifts. Christmas I spend very little on our kids. We leave Christmas day or the day after and do something. Not always big - 2 years in a row it was Branson. Last year was Disneyland/Universal (that one was $$$). We have done things just like Yogi Bear park in Burleson. Those are memories my kid will have forever.

I would rather work another 1-2 years and get to have these experiences, than waiting and then what happens if I croak at 55? I'll have at least made amazing memories with my kiddos.

My goal is to be fully retired by 58 (60 is minimum age for full retirement). BUT I plan to step way back in my a regular role and not leadership early 50's if we can handle the income loss.
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I Am A Critic
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In reply to ChoppinDs40 • 11:17a, 8/29/24
ChoppinDs40 said:
I write this as I lay in my hotel bed, traveling for work, with what feels like strep throat. Fun trip with fantastic sleep the last couple of nights.

Maybe a bit off topic but reading this thread and everyone's stories resonates with me quite a bit. For those that are "retired now and loving it" to "I'm still grinding and I don't really know why?" And the "im aggressively saving but not sure what the future really holds".

Myself, a newly minted 37, wife 35, 2 kids under 5.

Life has a weird way of molding your fears, desires, goals, dreams and what you want to leave as your legacy. Often times those can directly conflict one another and prioritization of each changes like the color of leaves in the many seasons of life.

I was raised in a lower to middle class family in a small farming community. The word retirement wasn't really in anyone's vocabulary - not uncommon for families that rely on agriculture for survival. The only people I've seen make it to "retirement" are my father (who still works part time because he could never truly be retired) and now uncle. Another uncle is close but has to find a way to offload his chicken farming operation. These are individuals in their late 60s and 70s.

I have many hobbies and interest, none of which I can dedicate enough time to due to current stage in life - corporate grind and 2 small kids. I want to aggressively move to "retire early" - say 55.

My wife and I have both have moderately successful careers that have taken significant time, investment, and sacrifice to reach this point.

As the kids grow (one is an infant), I feel the struggle and pull of those priority items above more than ever.

Fortunately, our careers give us the financial means to have this conflict but it is somewhat a… burden? In making the right decision.

If you got this far, you're probably asking "what the hell is this guy talking about?".

Real life financial questions, planning, and goals we battle with often consume me.

Before kids, we traveled. Not YOLO travel but got to enjoy and see many parts of the world. I didn't get on a plane for the first time until I was 14.

Now, with kids, travel is harder than ever and often times less enjoyable or impactful due to their age (and my god the cost of doing anything these days besides a "cheap trip to the beach"). But, I got my 4 year old up and skiing this spring by herself and it was one of the most proud moments I've felt in my entire life.

Now the conflict… dedicate the time, money, effort, etc to skiing as much as we can to enjoy this time now? Or continue the grind and say "when they're older". Skiing isn't a frugal man's game, especially for a Texan.

Spend money on those memories now? Or make damn well sure their college is fully funded.

Buy that piece of property in Colorado now? Or "sock that away and get to the goal of 55 quicker".

I love to golf and we have a golf club membership. I can in no way justify the cost anymore, today, given how much I play but the moment little man wants to swing a club, I'll be itching to get him out there as much as possible.

Put in a pool so the kids want to be at "your house" or save the $150k (Gdamn the price of pools since Covid feels like a racket)?

We're by no means misers but still feel like we're lacking in both departments - retire early and make awesome memories in our kids younger lives - which fuels our drive to make more money to bridge the gap.

We want to be able to do both (who doesn't?) but unfortunately our careers suck up much of our time and, in the same vein, are the only means (at least it feels) to be able to do both.

I guess what I'm trying to say is… time is the enemy. You need time to make those memories but also have to dedicate time to earn the ability to make the memories you want. I want to provide all those things for them but it comes at a cost. Couple that with family health history and it's not unrealistic for me (or really anyone) to drop dead at 60.

It feels like something will have to give - that decision and its consequences are what keep me up at night the most.

We'll continue to enjoy the ride and make it work but man is it hard to be talking about buying a vacation property in one sentence, retiring early in another, 529ing two colleges, ski trips with the family all whilst scouring the weekly grocery ads to see when strawberries go on sale.
https://www.investopedia.com/terms/l/lifestyle-creep.asp
Username checks out.
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94chem
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In reply to Tumble Weed • 11:46a, 8/29/24
Tumble Weed said:
EliteZags said:
94chem said:
If you've been responsible saving your whole life, trust that you'll be responsible spending too. I realized that with the market doing so well and with interest rates so high, the 10% penalty on early withdrawals isn't a big deal. Just sayin.'

10% penalty shouldn't ever come into consideration unless you've completed ignored existence of Roth ladder
This kind of quality advice is why I continue to read TexAgs.

I am 48 and this is perfect timing for me. The ladder will give me more flexibility.
I have 6 kids. I have plenty of ways to avoid the 10% penalty. I just wanted to free up a little money, not draw down my retirement savings.
94chem,
That, sir, was the greatest post in the history of TexAgs. I salute you. -- Dough
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Bird Poo
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In reply to 94chem • 12:03p, 8/29/24
AG
I have 6 as well. Had a surprise COVID baby at age 44, so ten years apart between her and my 13 year old, the second oldest.

I drove a minivan for 20 years until recently. Bought my first new truck with cash. The more I drive it and baby it, the more I realize I miss my beater minivan full of my favorite people. Man we had some memories in that thing.

So with a 3 year old at home with my SAHW, we'll probably home school her and take her with us on some of those bucket list trips we wanted to do later in life.

I used to obsess over what I would do in retirement. Second home? Travel the world? Basically, we decided to buy a nice RV to use to travel to our grandkids' house, or take them along on some trips. We'll rent a nice AirBnB a couple times per year to host everyone. Whatever opportunities we can provide to be together is our goal. I've spent my life living and providing for 7 other people. It's all I know and frankly, all I really enjoy (besides fishing, BBQ'n, and dove hunting).
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Sims
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In reply to Bird Poo • 12:08p, 8/29/24
AG
Bird Poo said:
It's all I know and frankly, all I really enjoy (besides fishing, BBQ'n, and dove hunting).
Bravo sir.

I get asked multiple times per week to go to this happy hour or that appreciation event/fundraiser whatever...My answer is almost always, no thanks I'm going to go home and hang out with the kids.
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jja79
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In reply to txaggie_08 • 12:24p, 8/29/24
AG
I'm 67 with a 21 year old. It is crazy but I wouldn't trade it.
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94chem
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1:55p, 8/29/24
When my daughters were in grade school 10 - 15 years ago, we did the YMCA father-daughter camping for about 5 years. One thing I noticed is that the prototype dad in that group was in his early 40's. Doing the math, these were men who had kids in their early to mid-30's, and had reached the point in their careers where they didn't owe anybody their weekends, weren't obsessing about climbing the ladder, and were delegating all they could. I learned by observing how they had slowed their worlds down, making-the-journey-the-destination sort of living.
94chem,
That, sir, was the greatest post in the history of TexAgs. I salute you. -- Dough
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ChoppinDs40
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In reply to I Am A Critic • 4:38p, 8/29/24
AG
Definitely some of this, not denying that. That being said, I do feel like we're better at managing it than most people that would be in our position.

We're just at a point where our lifestyle was very manageable and kids came along. We could financially keep it but weren't able to physically do some things anymore (mostly). We're also in this phase of "pig working through the snake" and should be out of it in a few more years.

We needed newer vehicles (mine was 13 years old with 175k miles and she had a small sedan - children). Those will be paid off in 2 years and I expect to drive my truck for a long time.

2 Kids in daycare runs about $3200/month. One goes off that very soon.

Due to high travel costs, we bought a travel trailer, that'll be paid off in 2-3 years. So while we did have creep... it was really due to a few big slugs vs. constant edging up (outside of inflation).

For reference, my dream early retirement scenario is getting a used motorhome and traveling the country while keeping a small rural property in Texas for taxes and residency.
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Comeby!
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5:59p, 8/29/24
AG
I don't think anyone's formula took into account paying too much for Aggie football weekends. See yall there this weekend.
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ChoppinDs40
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In reply to Comeby! • 6:09p, 8/29/24
AG
Comeby! said:
I don't think anyone's formula took into account paying too much for Aggie football weekends. See yall there this weekend.


It's certainly part of our budget!
One thing my old man still somewhat subsidizes.
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MyMamaSaid
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In reply to ChoppinDs40 • 8:12p, 8/29/24
AG
ChoppinDs40 said:
For reference, my dream early retirement scenario is getting a used motorhome and traveling the country while keeping a small rural property in Texas for taxes and residency.
That's really simple. And completely awesome. Getting out there is the best.

My wife and I took the afternoon off today and practiced our upcoming (4 years away) retirement a bit. Only required gear was good hiking shoes and a camelback with water. 6 miles, 800 vertical feet, 3 hours.
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jja79
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In reply to MyMamaSaid • 8:40p, 8/29/24
AG
Where is that?
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Apache
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In reply to MyMamaSaid • 8:14a, 8/30/24
AG
Quote:
My wife and I took the afternoon off today and practiced our upcoming (4 years away) retirement a bit.
By the looks of that picture, y'all are either retiring early or have found the fountain of youth.
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EclipseAg
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8:22a, 8/30/24
AG
I envy people who have a solid plan for where/how they want to retire, even if it's not something I would personally enjoy.

I know several people who are doing the RV thing, but that's not anything we would ever consider. I also know people who are moving to land they've bought in the country -- again, not really my thing.

We thought a lot about a smaller town, but I don't want to be isolated from friends and family where you have to make specific plans to get together and drive a couple of hours there and back. So we're in limbo -- knowing we need to downsize but not sure where.

Having a plan that you've bought into at least gives you something to work toward.
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ChoppinDs40
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In reply to EclipseAg • 8:50a, 8/30/24
AG
EclipseAg said:
I envy people who have a solid plan for where/how they want to retire, even if it's not something I would personally enjoy.

I know several people who are doing the RV thing, but that's not anything we would ever consider. I also know people who are moving to land they've bought in the country -- again, not really my thing.

We thought a lot about a smaller town, but I don't want to be isolated from friends and family where you have to make specific plans to get together and drive a couple of hours there and back. So we're in limbo -- knowing we need to downsize but not sure where.

Having a plan that you've bought into at least gives you something to work toward.
Depending on how far or close you are to that stage of life definitely matters on the "what does everyone else look like?"

I may say/plan for "my kids will go to A&M and will be in/around Texas, God willing, for most of their lives. They've been summers and winters in Colorado growing up and love it. Therefore, having a place in Texas and Colorado for retirement is the goal".

Then... just for illustration, your kid gets a full ride somewhere out of state, marries someone from there, and ends up living in Indianapolis. Your "family" is now there - now what do you do?

You see lots of people end up moving somewhere they never intended to stay close to family/friends.

Others then may say, "that's fine, they'll come visit us at a place they love."

It's just another wrinkle and divergence in this linear intertwined path we call life.
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MyMamaSaid
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In reply to jja79 • 1:17p, 8/30/24
AG
Northern Utah.

If 58 is retiring early, then yeah.

Seriously folks, get out there and get moving. Keeps you young.

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CC09LawAg
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In reply to EliteZags • 1:40p, 8/30/24
Man this could've been me typing this exact same thing.

Feels like being tugged in 10 different directions and not knowing which way to go.

I think once the daycare bills get in the rearview mirror that will help. That is a significant chunk of money that can be switched over to savings/trips.

I do agree "lifestyle creep" is part of it. But when you have a certain standard of living before kids, or before adding more kids, and then throw daycare bills on top of the current economic environment, it doesn't take long for what used to be a comfortable salary with plenty of wiggle room to get tight.
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JMac03
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1:50p, 8/30/24
AG
One thing I have noticed as I get older, the less I care about "keeping up with the Jones". I always wanted a BMW, that was my dream car. Used to love my LV purses. Now they collect dust. My clothes mostly come from Amazon (although I do spend money on good tennis shoes every year or so).

Even though we can afford it, I'm all about how much quicker can I get to retirement. Drove my last car nearly 8 years, and longest I had one before then was 3.5 years. Bought the exact same replacement car 2 years ago (Nissan Rogue). Plan to drive it as long as I can. Saving that $30-$40k by getting a Nissan over a BMW - thats how much quicker we can buy our next rent house.

I never was much with spending lots of money shopping, etc, but not it is very much less.

Now if I could just stop eating out and drinking margaritas, I would shave a lot more off each year - but that's not happening.
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CapCity12thMan
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In reply to CC09LawAg • 2:35p, 8/30/24
AG
think once the daycare bills get in the rearview mirror that will help. That is a significant chunk of money that can be switched over to savings/trips.


Except
When they get older they get into expensive activities
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Apache
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In reply to CapCity12thMan • 2:44p, 8/30/24
AG
Quote:
think once the daycare bills get in the rearview mirror that will help. That is a significant chunk of money that can be switched over to savings/trips.


Except
When they get older they get into expensive activities
Tell me about it. Beater car. Fuel. Car insurance. Braces. Select sports. Phones.
My kids have jobs, but the financial bleeding never ends.
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MAS444
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In reply to CapCity12thMan • 2:50p, 8/30/24
AG
Quote:
Except

When they get older they get into expensive activities

And/or private school...

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beerad12man
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In reply to Apache • 3:49p, 8/30/24
AG
This is a very big thing. It's kind of sad to see. In addition to just the normal necessities such as a car, gas, food, etc., I see my sister and a few others have to tie up basically all of their income and time to their child's sports. Especially when you have 3 or more kids. It adds up to be pretty crazy.

We have created a world where if you don't have your kids in select leagues, traveling all over, etc., they A) get behind, and B) you are seen as a bad or neglectful parent holding your child back. Many feel pressure to keep up with others in this regards when they absolutely cannot afford this, and the return is just not worth the cost. Many are literally going into debt over some of it.

I long for the days of when I was a child during the summer just a kid being a kid, playing sports outside 6-7 days a week with friends in the neighborhood, going to the river to fish, etc. Rather than having to be in year round leagues, fundraising all the time, traveling, etc. It's like people think you have to tie up all your time to activities rather than just live more freely and with less structure.
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