I've spent a crap ton of time in the ABQ area, so I'll chime in. And I'm going to both agree and disagree with some that have posted before. No hard feelings, just my personal opinions.
First, keep in mind it is winter. And though NM is mostly desert, it is high desert. ABQ is about a mile above sea level., if you head east towards Clines Corners, the altitude is over 7500'. So winter weather is highly variable, changes rapidly, and ice and snow melt slowly. Be flexible, and prepare for blizzards. When it does snow there, it can dump a bunch at once.
I'd veto the Southern New Mexico idea. Maybe another time, and maybe fly into El Paso or Midland as a base airport. Great suggestion on that area were given, but it's 3-4 hours through a really desolate part of NM from ABQ to RUI, and not a place you want to fight bad weather.
My rule of thumb is do Northern NM or Southern NM, but not both in one trip.
ABQ is mostly safe, though there are some rough areas. We had an attempted break in of our pickup, and a panhandler got aggressive at me once when I ignored him. But generally speaking, be aware of your surroundings, take all your stuff out of your car at the hotel, and you should be okay. Mostly I'm treated with the same respect I give.
We usually stay in the Uptown area, Louisiana street just north of I-40.
In ABQ, I think your kids would like the Natural History Museum, and Old Town and the businesses there are interesting. There are often events around the Plaza in Old Town.
Near Old Town is the ABQ Biopark. Zoo, Aquarium, Arboretum. It's pretty good, and they have a really cool light display there around Christmas. Again, not in a great part of town, just use your head.
https://riveroflights.org/#homeThe National Nuclear Museum is great, but unless your kids are more into history than most, they might be a little young. Lots of cool planes on display behind the museum.
Sandia Peak, I think taking the gondola up to the top is a bucket list item. But if the kids are scared, you want to save money, and the roads are good, there is a road up to Sandia Peak from the east. Top is over 11,000 feet, and you feel the altitude. Great views.
Our restaurant favorites are Cocina Azul, especially the downtown location, El Pinto (far NW ABQ), Sadies. Owl Cafe has the famous green chile cheeseburgers, great milkshakes, and a diner type atmosphere. Saggios is a popular pizza place near UNM, and you can tour the campus and Route 66 sites along Central Avenue.
We often eat breakfast at Wecks....then skip lunch. Lots of locations, great service, huge breakfasts, and wife really likes their coffee of the day, lots of great flavors that change daily.
If you want to drive a lot, we enjoy Durango CO, and the steam train there. Three and and a half hours. I think they do a Polar Express, and I know they schedule winter trips.
Also lots of driving, about 3 hours, are Taos, Angel Fire and Red River. I think adults would enjoy Santa Fe more, but RR has been a Texan playground for 75 years. Skiing, snow tubing, Jeep rentals, etc. Maybe a little lower rent and redneck, but lots of great family fun.
Santa Fe is only an hour out. It does have lots of shops and historic sites, as mentioned above. Also lots of great food. I always mention Clafloutis, an amazing French bakery/breakfast place. Full of your typical Santa Fe crowd, run by a really nice French family, and if you get nothing else, try an authentic french croissant.
La Fonda is kind of a bucket list place to stay, and the square (plaza) in Santa Fe is a must see. But again, maybe more for adults than kids. We often stay at Buffalo Thunder, north of town on 285, near the Pojauque Pueblo. I guess it's a little cheaper because it's a casino. It's often the only place offering government rates. If you reserve there, keep in mind there is the main hotel, and then there is a Homewood Suites on the same property. We prefer the Homewood, especially if we can reserve in the Casaitas, that only have eight rooms per unit.
From Buffalo Thunder, we can dip into Santa Fe if we want. Gabriels, just south of there on 285 is great, especially the guacamole made at your table. To the NE is Chimayo. Famous 1800s church with healing dirt, and Ranchos De Chimayo, another great restaurant. Chimayo is famous for their weaving, though we aren't into that. Take the High Road to Taos to get to Chimayo. Twisty, slow, you'll think you're driving through someone's yard, but a cool drive.
Espanola to the NW is supposedly a tough town, but really into the low rider and other car culture. They usually go all out on putting up luminaries for Christmas.
Los Alamos is interesting, a few Manhattan project sites you can visit, the drive up there is spectacular, and the Bradbury Science Museum and County Historical Museum are good. The latter includes a tour of one of the Manhattan Project houses on Bathtub Row. And they own the Oppenheimer House, but it has to be renovated before tours. You can look in the windows, and some of the movie was filmed there.
Bandilier is a must see, cliff dwellings carved out of volcanic ash.
Note here, if you want to go to Valles Caldera from the town of LA, you will have to pass through security gates at Los Alamos National Labs (run by Texas A&M). No big deal, just no firearms allowed, the driver has to show a driver's license. You aren't searched or interrogated, but you are subject to it. If you are carrying or security makes you nervous, go through White Rock and past Bandelier to avoid LANL.
Valles Caldera. Number 1 recommendation, one of the most amazing sites in New Mexico. The road to it is narrow, twisty, and climbs a high mountain pass. So check road conditions and VC web site. They only allow 40 cars a day to enter, so get there early. Car #40 goes in, that's it, even if 20 cars have since left.
It's a huge collapsed volcano, full of elk, and just damned impressive.
Past VC toward and past Jemez Springs, Battleship Rock, Soda Dam, Gillman Tunnels, and Jemez mission ruins.
I might try and post some photos and links later