I've spent a good time considering the bullpen's woes recently and I've finally pieced it altogether. It's a been of a tale, so be patient.
Rafael Montero somehow acquired the technology to perform a Face/Off heist with Bryan Abreu during the off-season.
It's the only explanation for why Abreu had a 1.72 ERA and a 1.04 WHIP last year while Montero was at 5.08 and 1.53. This year, Montero is at 1.64 and 0.91 while Abreu is at 4.91 and 1.818.
Montero started freaking out in the off-season and while the option to "try harder" and "pitch better" was out there, he decided to use Uncle Crane's dump truck of money to recruit a team to abduct Abreu, knock him out, have the surgery done, and take his body. By the time Abreu recovered it's already been a month and he's having to try to make pitches with Montero's arm and it sucks.
One night, he finally can't take it anymore and tells Ryan Pressly about it, because he's the only guy he trusts.
Pressly, much like Joan Allen, is skeptical, but a DNA/blood test proves it.
Pressly goes to Dana Brown and Jim Crane with the proof and they listen and smile politely, but the minute he's gone they agree he's freaked out and is now a liability to the team.
Three days later, we sign Josh Hader as the new closer.
Life is better with a beagle