***Official Houston Astros 2023-24 Offseason Thread*** [Staff Warning - OP]

968,785 Views | 11245 Replies | Last: 7 mo ago by Lonestar_Ag09
Marvin
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In reply to The Porkchop Express • 9:21a, 2/15/24
AG
The Porkchop Express said:
On a lighter note, I'm writing a short fantasy novella for a guy in Kuwait today and I'm using some obscure Astro names (first or last) to populate some of the minor characters. If anyone has a suggestion, please throw one out.

May it slip into obscurity... Maldonado
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Ag_07
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9:21a, 2/15/24
AG
My favorite Stros uni scheme

https://instagr.am/p/C3SrEYCrHkG
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The Porkchop Express
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In reply to 1836er • 9:26a, 2/15/24
AG
Great Uncle Aspro has been breathed into life.
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Mr.Bond
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In reply to Ag_07 • 9:29a, 2/15/24
AG
Ag_07 said:
My favorite Stros uni scheme

https://instagr.am/p/C3SrEYCrHkG
Im looking for Ray Finkle.... and a clean pair of shorts. Im just a very big Finkle fan. This is my Graceland, sir.


MAGA

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The Porkchop Express
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In reply to Marvin • 9:31a, 2/15/24
AG
Omar has appeared, although he's a dead brother from 20 years ago, and Chuckar (Chuck Carr) with him. RIP
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3B Paul 97
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In reply to The Porkchop Express • 9:37a, 2/15/24
AG
The Porkchop Express said:
On a lighter note, I'm writing a short fantasy novella for a guy in Kuwait today and I'm using some obscure Astro names (first or last) to populate some of the minor characters. If anyone has a suggestion, please throw one out.

Tim Bogar
Casey Candaele
James Mouton
Mark Bailey
Harry Spillman
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The Porkchop Express
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In reply to 3B Paul 97 • 9:38a, 2/15/24
AG
The Forest of Bogar it is.
I can't really use names like Mark Bailey or Doug Jones in a fantasy novel, HTH - need some oddball spelligns and what not.
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suburban cowboy
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9:43a, 2/15/24
AG
I guess I like winning more than yall.

Bring him in, league minimum, incentive based contract, if he performs it's a massive W, if he has behavioral issues or sucks you cut him.
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WES2006AG
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In reply to Ag_07 • 9:43a, 2/15/24
AG
Ag_07 said:
My favorite Stros uni scheme

https://instagr.am/p/C3SrEYCrHkG
Agree. I am sure it is nostalgia for my 90s childhood but those are the best. I think we are a bit too orange now.
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bearkatag15
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9:44a, 2/15/24
AG
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texasaggie2015
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In reply to suburban cowboy • 9:49a, 2/15/24
AG
suburban cowboy said:
I guess I like winning more than yall.

Bring him in, league minimum, incentive based contract, if he performs it's a massive W, if he has behavioral issues or sucks you cut him.
That's certainly one way to spin it.
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The Porkchop Express
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In reply to suburban cowboy • 9:53a, 2/15/24
AG
suburban cowboy said:
I guess I like winning more than yall.

Bring him in, league minimum, incentive based contract, if he performs it's a massive W, if he has behavioral issues or sucks you cut him.
Bring him in and every question asked for the next X months he's on the team is - Why did you sign Bauer? How does Bauer get along in the clubhouse? What do you think about Bauer saying this? What does signing Bauer say about how the Houston Astros view women, especially after the thing with their closer a few years ago and the exec that got fired for mouthing off at the female reporter about said closer? Why would a woman want to work for the Houston Astros who sign Trevor Bauer? The Astros were already cheaters and now they're signing guys who sexually assault women too? What about Bauer's feud with Bregman? What about him accusing the Astros of cheating over and over? What about the fact that he can't STFU on Twitter or anywhere else? Why did you sign him, Mr. Crane? What does Justin Verlander think about this? Would he leave kate Upton alone in a room with Trevor Bauer?

The team that signs Trevor Bauer has to be prepared for months of bull**** from him, the fans, and the media at large. A team like the Astros, committed to excellence on the field and off of it, does not need or want that headache. Let him sign with the Yankees where that's commonplace or some team nobody gives a **** about like the Nationals or the Marlins or the Rockies.

If you like winning, you don't open the door and invite cancer to come on in.
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CFTXAG10
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10:00a, 2/15/24
AG
Aggie baseball tomorrow, first spring training game 9 days away.

ItsHappening.gif
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Ag_07
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In reply to WES2006AG • 10:03a, 2/15/24
AG
Yeah it's probably a lot of nostalgia for me as well but I also think these uniforms just captured the essence of the space theme perfectly and just seemed to fit the time period so well.

Good stuff
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SpaceCityAg05
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In reply to The Porkchop Express • 10:05a, 2/15/24
AG
Yukon Cornelius

And the entire roster of players minus Altuve from 2012-2014.
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The Porkchop Express
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10:07a, 2/15/24
AG
not so fun times from this day in Astros History. woof

2006 - Reaction continues to simmer over a memoir published by Astros broadcaster Milo Hamilton, who is in his 22nd year with Houston. While he has some critical comments for local folks, the national media focuses on Hamilton's portrayal of deceased Cubs broadcaster Harry Caray as "a miserable human being". Caray's widow, Duchie, responds that Hamilton hasn't "shown any class at all". In the Chicago restaurant that bears Caray's name, a new drink called the "Milo" is christened made of "cheap shots and sour grapes".

Referring to a statue of Caray outside Wrigley Field, Hamilton wrote, "I see that statue every time the Astros visit Wrigley Field as our bus pulls up to the park. I say to myself, 'I gotta go get some peanuts and feed the pigeons so they'll fly over the statue all day long.' "
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Twisted Helix
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In reply to Ag_07 • 10:10a, 2/15/24
I'm only half way through that video and if even half the **** they're saying is true the dude should never see the diamond again.
And I was open to giving him a look. What a whack job.
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Bobcat-Ag
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In reply to The Porkchop Express • 10:11a, 2/15/24
The Porkchop Express said:
On a lighter note, I'm writing a short fantasy novella for a guy in Kuwait today and I'm using some obscure Astro names (first or last) to populate some of the minor characters. If anyone has a suggestion, please throw one out.


Doug Drabek
Mark Swindell
Eric Yielding
Terry Puhl
Art Howe
Denny Walling
Bob Knepper
Alan Knicely
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Twisted Helix
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In reply to The Porkchop Express • 10:13a, 2/15/24
The Porkchop Express said:
On a lighter note, I'm writing a short fantasy novella for a guy in Kuwait today and I'm using some obscure Astro names (first or last) to populate some of the minor characters. If anyone has a suggestion, please throw one out.

Rusty Staub. Imagine the fun you could have.
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SpaceCityAg05
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In reply to SpaceCityAg05 • 10:15a, 2/15/24
AG
Rhiner Cruz

And the obligatory LJ Hoes.
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Ag_07
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In reply to Twisted Helix • 10:26a, 2/15/24
AG
It really is insane. He's as toxic as toxic can be. There isn't a place he's played that he hasn't had a brush up or controversy. Every team that's taken a chance on him has been burned.

I see no reason to believe he's changed and would expect him to be the same child he's been throughout his entire career.

Dude is a joke
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SpaceCityAg05
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In reply to Ag_07 • 10:33a, 2/15/24
AG
Agreed.

One can simultaneously believe that he got unjustly railroaded over the one big issue, while simultaneously realizing he has a whole lot of OTHER issues.
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1836er
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In reply to The Porkchop Express • 10:36a, 2/15/24
AG
... and don't forget Charlie Kerfeld
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Furlock Bones
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In reply to The Porkchop Express • 10:36a, 2/15/24
AG
The Porkchop Express said:
On a lighter note, I'm writing a short fantasy novella for a guy in Kuwait today and I'm using some obscure Astro names (first or last) to populate some of the minor characters. If anyone has a suggestion, please throw one out.
If Kaz Matsui doesn't get in, we riot!
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SpaceCityAg05
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In reply to The Porkchop Express • 10:37a, 2/15/24
AG
Also, there needs to be a rat named Fiers that meets an unceremonius end.
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All I do is Nguyen
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In reply to SpaceCityAg05 • 10:56a, 2/15/24
SpaceCityAg05 said:
Also, there needs to be a rat named Fiers that meets an unceremonius end.
But make it blatantly obvious you're talking about Fiers. Describe his ugly ass monkey tail beard and everything. How he was alwasy injured when he played his former team, etc.
No matter what!
Epstein didn't do, you know, the thing...
I'm the rare Astros/Cowboys/Spurs fan. We do exist
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DrZ
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In reply to The Porkchop Express • 11:01a, 2/15/24
AG
Casey Candaele

His mother was "in a league of her own."

She was born to hit. Called "a little bundle of dynamite," "a polished performer," and the "feminine Ted Williams," Helen Callaghan was a bonafide star in the All-American Girls Professional Baseball League from the minute she left her home in Vancouver for a tryout at the age of 16.

In her five-season career, she won a batting title, stole more than 100 bases twice -- getting called the best basestealer this side of Shirley Jameson (who stole 126 in 1943) -- and proved to be one of the most competitive players to ever step on the ballfield.
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TarponChaser
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In reply to Ag_07 • 11:17a, 2/15/24
Ag_07 said:
My favorite Stros uni scheme

https://instagr.am/p/C3SrEYCrHkG

With the goatees and Oakleys those definitely scream 1990's.

Or current over-the-top competitive "softball guy" today.

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AgSportsFan89
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In reply to The Porkchop Express • 11:20a, 2/15/24
AG
The Porkchop Express said:
On a lighter note, I'm writing a short fantasy novella for a guy in Kuwait today and I'm using some obscure Astro names (first or last) to populate some of the minor characters. If anyone has a suggestion, please throw one out.


Dave Borkowski. Am I too late to the party?
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DrZ
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11:22a, 2/15/24
AG
How about the legend. - Bullpen catcher
Stretch Suba
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SpaceCityAg05
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11:30a, 2/15/24
AG
And Lima Time.
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07ag
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In reply to The Porkchop Express • 11:49a, 2/15/24
AG
The Porkchop Express said:
On a lighter note, I'm writing a short fantasy novella for a guy in Kuwait today and I'm using some obscure Astro names (first or last) to populate some of the minor characters. If anyone has a suggestion, please throw one out.
larry yount
https://ts.la/eric59704
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Farmer1906
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12:12p, 2/15/24
AG
Huge blow to the Os


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Mathguy64
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12:16p, 2/15/24
AG
So he needs TJ? And is trying to not have it? Pretty sure there is only one way that ends.
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Farmer1906
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12:17p, 2/15/24
AG




This is the second day I've seen these two together. Did they bond on the bench when Dusty refused to play them?





















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