Hey Bill, we're so dang banged up this week that we've had to bring some JV players up to the Varsity.

So ask all your big ol' mean JUCO guys to go easy on us, OK???

Gig 'em, FAST FRED '65.

Before the world wide web, village idiots usually stayed in their own village.

[This message has been edited by FAST FRED (edited 10/15/2001).]

SILENCE MORTALS!

You may not speak to me any longer. You do not know my pain.

Only those who have suffered terrible loss may speak to me. Have you had a second cousin once removed torn limb from limb in a freak kiting accident? I think not. Have you watched as your twin brothers' heads simultaneously imploded after watching one too many Victoria Principal infomercials? I didn't think so, mortals.

Those who have suffered a loss equal to that of a football game may ask me questions.

The rest of you, SILENCE! Speak not in my presence or suffer the consequences. You have no idea of the power behind my rat-like eyes.

Love,
Bill

p.s. I am crazy now.

[This message has been edited by Bill Snyder (edited 10/15/2001).]

quote:

---

Those who have suffered a loss equal to that of a football game may ask me questions.

---

Coach Bill

I do admire the way you bust the balls of the Ball States of the world. Also, you have managed to beat MacIII and the sips like a drum yet fail miserably at the true money games but still got coach of the big xii the yr we kicked your azz!

My question: Can you win a Championship and did you really design that ugly helmet?

Silence, mortal WinaGs.

You have not stated a loss, and therefore, I shall ignore your feeble question.

Do not think that Vance Smith can save you from my wrath if you address me again. You know nothing of pain.

Love,
Bill

p.s. I am crazy now.

Bill-- I feel your loss. I attended the debacle agaisnt University of Southwest Louisiana a few years ago. They don't even call themselves that anymore.

My question is this...
Do you regret not starting your season with a pansy as you normally do to acclimate your JUCO players to Div.1 ball or are you still happy with your decistion to play powerhouse, USC??? Oh wait, they are 2-4. Never mind.

This thread is hilarious...any time I read one of "Bill Snyder's" posts I picture Dana Carvey when he used to do that McGlocklin (sp?) Group on Saturday Night Live.

"WRONG!!!...NOOOOO!!!..."

LOL!

Joey1999, yes, you know my pain. I shall answer your mortal question.

I am a Leo. I love leather jackets and long walks on the beach. My favorite color is purple, and I am a sucker for Chinese food!

Love,
Bill

p.s. I am crazy now.

Did my sock puppet say anything yesterday, coach?

Mr. Snyder - I experienced our '96 loss to BYU in Provo. This was the game that preceeded our loss to the aforementioned SWLA game.

That being said, I have to ask you this: Is it true that you and Michael Bishop attempted to have a love child?

Mortal Texas Aggie '99, I will let sock puppet Michael Bishop answer that question.

{muffled, high voice} Me play football. Me run. Me throw. Me make grade scores at Blinn so me can play for Coach Snyder. Me can spell "NFL". Coach Snyder, can me go to the bathroom now?

Yes you can, sock puppet Michael. Texas Aggie '99, I hope that didn't answer your question.

Love,
Bill

p.s. I am crazy now.

Bill,

We've all heard the deceased kid analogy...

Would you compare your upcoming third straight loss to Texas
A&M with the vision of your dead grandmother crawling up your
leg with a knife in her teeth to cut off "Little Bill"?





[This message has been edited by 13 0 Branding Iron (edited 10/16/2001).]

Branding Iron,

Is that from Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas? I think it is at least Hunter S. Thompsons work.

Sonofabi$c$ this a freaking hilarious thread. I can't believe I'm just now reading it for the first time.

Bill reminds me of Scipio Tex.

Bill,
It was speculated on The Ticket that you cannot win the big game because you are obsessed with cheese - that instead of focusing on the proper play calls you are dreaming about the enormous variety of cheeses that are available for you to devour with your rat teeth after the game. Is this true?



"Don't disrespect the Bing."

Bill -

I too suffered a terrible loss (in a game) against CU in 2000, and was the only one in my group standing in the rain singing the Spirit of Aggieland.

My question is this: Is it true that you personally not only bleached Coopers hair blonde, but also his privates?

Bill, I hate to open up old wounds, but is this
the daughter that you lost?

No more questions, mortal Aggies.

Sock puppet Quincy Morgan is tired and needs a nap.

{high, muffled voice} What's a "nap," coach? Can I have one too?

Silence, sock puppet Michael Bishop!

This Saturday, Aggies, you will learn how it feels to watch helplessly as 4 of your favorite aunts and half-siblings are trampled to death by Divine, Ru Paul and the extras from TV's Everybody Loves Raymond.

I pity you.

Love,
Bill

p.s. I am crazy now.

How can anyone forget our lose to tech in lubbock two years ago when we were ranked something like 4th in the nation. I was at that game and I too feel your pain Bill. So, my question is, would you describe your ideal partner.

coach, why didn't you teach michael bishop to read and write?

quote:

---

After the game, coach Bill Snyder said he expected Roberson to be healthy enough to play Saturday against Texas A&M.

On Monday, Snyder was not willing to say Roberson would start Saturday.

"I would probably reserve the decision until later in the week," Snyder said. "It's important to see exactly how he's progressing. There are different degrees of healthy, so we need to see where he is and what his performance is like in practice."

---

Coach, what are the 'degrees of healthy?' We mortals would like a small taste of your football knowledge.

This is definitely the funniest thread I have ever read. It REEEEEEEEKS of Fake Johnny Oates (Humanoid Ken Hitchcock! Take your giant bipedal walking instruments off of the varnished molded lumber!).

LMAO!!!

"My software sucks!"


*************************
"He got a touchdown! He got a touchdown! He got a touchdown! He got it in! Oh, Doctor!"

13-0,
I don't think that's very funny putting a picture of my girlfriend on a bb and making fun of her.

Or is that The's mom?

I STILL LOVE MY FIGHTIN' TEXAS AGGIES!!!

Most save for their kid's College fund.
I'm saving for their legal defense fund.


Gig em!

That's not my mom. That's me as my alternate ego "That."

Saturday nights are always special in Manhattan.

So what's This?

I STILL LOVE MY FIGHTIN' TEXAS AGGIES!!!

Most save for their kid's College fund.
I'm saving for their legal defense fund.


Gig em!

The fake Johnny Oates + the fake Billy Tubbs...

On one hand we have a pretty good team...on the other hand I have mayonaise.

I'm insane now, Chuck!

Who's "There"?

I STILL LOVE MY FIGHTIN' TEXAS AGGIES!!!

Most save for their kid's College fund.
I'm saving for their legal defense fund.


Gig em!

Coach,

My cousin's aunt's sister-in-law's boy friend's secrete lover died in a horrible cow-pie throwing contest...Don't Tell Me about Pain!!

Now, My question is are we all mortals on Earth, or are there others like you (Superhuman strength, knowledge, etc.)?

Coach, stop working on your gameplan and answer our questions!

He's washing the sock puppets......

You try my patience mortal Aggies.

I've had enough of your foolish questions and homo-erotic poetry.

Now, Bill Snyder impersonators are popping up faster than Mack Brown recruiting promises.

None should wish to impersonate me. eek! eek!

Just pretending to be me can bring you unmeasurable pain. Imagine a life working as a cabana boy at a never ending Jeff "Mad Dog" Madden toga party. Even then, you cannot glimpse the rodentine tragedy of my eek! eek! existence.

You are filthy in my sight. Be gone.

Love,
Bill

p.s. I am crazy now.

Now, Bill, be polite to these Aggies. You know a dead oppossum only crosses the road twice on Thursdays.

It's like my mama used to tell me. She'd say, "Spike, don't wash your blue jeans in a dirty stream if you're-a plannin' to pick fresh watermelon."

I think you know what I'm getting at, Bill. You know, this is why I got outta coaching.

Evenin'.

[This message has been edited by Spike Dykes (edited 10/18/2001).]

Mr. Bill,

I have noticed that you are a fan of "stern lectures"...Does this stem from you childhood?

How do you feel?

Spike, what the hell did that mean? I mean, what the hell did that mean?!

Opossums and watermelon?

You backwoods, homespun mortal moron!

Here's a clue, mortal: we don't understand that hillbilly jargon! Speak Englsih, not West Texas Pig Latin!

I suspect you've been hit in the head by too many mortal golf balls, Spike.

I will kill you on the 18th green.

Love,
Bill

p.s. I am crazy now.