Here's what I say team should eat before the college of Alabama game:

1. Dinner:
A. Liver and Onions- but the liver is air freighted in from fresh elk, killed by bow.
B. Side 1: Green Beans
C. Soup: Gumbo with Allen's field peas, okra, catfish, shrimp, white rice.
D. Cornbread: From the box.
C. Dessert 1: Sweet Bread but not the bread, the meat.
E. Dessert 2 Pumpkin pie- fresh.
F. Drink water

2. Gameday breakfast
A. Eggs cooked in the fat of the murdered Elk. No Sbisa army eggs, they have to be freshly stolen from the cloacas of hormone pumped hens.
B. Wheaties with Whole Milk- no 2%. Not organic. Again- hormone remnants are good.
C. Spinach
D. OJ
E. Black Coffee

3. Special course for our QB to up reaction times of brain:
A. 5 hour energy- extra strength
B. 10 mg Adderall w/ prescription.
C. Black coffee

4. Half time snack
A. More black coffee
B. McDonald's fried apple pie (not the baked one).
C. One dragon fruit, skinned.
D. Gatorade gum

Threads like this make me feel better about pouting over jimbo's coaching

Nutrition is key, y'all don't know. Otherwise- brain worms again when the receivers are open downfield!

1. Friday Dinner:

• Homemade meatloaf and mashed potatoes.
• Side 1: Roasted veggies
• Side 2: Cup of peaches
• Salad: Spicy Southwest Salad from Chick-fil-A
• Dinner rolls
• Dessert 1: Chocolate Chip Cookies (homemade)
• Dessert 2: Baked Alaska (obvi homemade)
• Drink water from garden hose
• 10mg Ambien

2. Gameday Breakfast

• 3 egg omlette with spinach, onion, ham, cheese, bacon, and bell peppers.
• One 'brick' of shredded wheat - no milk, eat dry.
• Yogurt
• Berries
• Black Coffee w/ 2 sugars

3. Special course for Jimbo:

• 1 bottle of pepto bismol in a tall glass. Drop 2 alka seltzer tablets in. Take shot glass of tequila and drop into pepto bismol glass. Chug.***
• wheat thins.

4. Special course for our QB:

• Fruit smoothie with ginseng and tumeric
• 2 mg of Xanax
• Colonoscopy prep drink

5. Half time snack

• Double Dave's pizza rolls
• Dr Pepper Float with Blue Bell Ice Cream
• Bananas
• Pediolyte
• 2 lines of cocaine

6. Post game celebration

• Charles de Fere Reserve Sparkling Rose from France
  
• Cracker Jacks
• Oranges
• "Ants on a log" - celery with peanut butter on top, and then raisins on top of that

Suprep

Need to throw the entire pregame routine away until they learn how to play. Take the team to the Roadway Inn in Caldwell, dollar menu from McDonalds for supper. Maybe they'll decide to earn a better meal.

Engrish?

I has chikkin nuggurs

team eat
better meat
or we tonight
be less yeet

Ritalin and steroids.

This place is bizarre

A Taco Bell only diet for the next few days. Completely gas the defensive line out to gain the upper hand

Something, something… I kill cause I'm hungry.

We need killers. Fasting should begin tomorrow. That include Jimbo.

"Drink water from garden hose"

The flyover should be a chinook helicopter that land at midfield w fresh chick-fil-a nuggets for boosters

Cornbread from the box

For the entire offense (minus spiller and achane)

Obviously a troll from Bama trying to feed us a loser's meal. We need to be giving our guys enough cocaine to kill a horse, and a shot of espresso to wash it down.

Batzarro is a legend. Member mirror out Kyle Field?

thank you El Scorcho, laying low- searching for the Ivory Billed Woodpecker, thought to be extinct.

Pos_Vibes_Neg_Results said:

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Need to throw the entire pregame routine away until they learn how to play. Take the team to the Roadway Inn in Caldwell, dollar menu from McDonalds for supper. Maybe they'll decide to earn a better meal.

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Ahh the memories. Caldwell Texas....Roadway Inn......Been there......kids were young like 10&8, both girls. Somehow they got the idea after traveling from College Station to Bastrop that they wanted to stay at the Roadway Inn......you know kids and their wild ideas....So, wife set it up, we go there, go eat pizza cross the street, go to hotel office and get a key. Me, wife and two kids go to door, I slide credit card key in slot and swing open the door, kids fly in to find a really fat woman sitting on some truckers face..........OMG.

Woman screamed.....Oh it was a moment for sure. She never got up off the man, I apologized and we made our way out.....Momma had some splaining to do for some time after that.....true story...

Never stay at that type of motel. They don't have a computer that keeps who has which rooms straight