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Subtle methods of payback (fence issue)

8,570 Views | 69 Replies | Last: 23 days ago by reproag
TarponChaser
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So I know we all love fence issues with jerkoff neighbors.

Typical suburban neighborhood and our fence is falling down. I get quotes and one neighbor is cool with splitting her side but the crotchety, divorced 60'ish dude on the other side has been a dick since we moved in.

Went to ask him if he'd split our shared side. I expected him to be jerkoff but figured I'd ask knowing we'd go forward regardless of his answer. This piece of work proceeds to gripe about how the fence isn't that bad (it is) and how he paid for the fence when the house was built. Gripes about how he won't pay and all that BS.

My response was just "have a nice day, fence is going in on Friday" and walk off.

So now I'm contemplating subtle ways to irritate this a-hole. I can't bang his wife because she was a mail-order bride from Colombia who left him for a younger man once she got her green card and I can't crap on his doorstep because he's got cameras.
TxAg20
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AG
Sounds like life is bad enough for him already. Just be happy you are not him.
TarponChaser
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TxAg20 said:

Sounds like life is bad enough for him already. Just be happy you are not him.


This doesn't help fuel my petty impulses here.
one safe place
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Put the posts and 2x4s on his side and before you put the fence up, be sure to spill some paint on the posts, 2x4s, and some of the pickets that will face his yard. Not a lot but enough to be an eyesore.
normaleagle05
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AG
TarponChaser said:

....and I can't crap on his doorstep in private because he's got cameras.

FIFY. Just get over your privacy concerns.

Though maybe then you'd just tear the fence down and not rebuild?
TarponChaser
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normaleagle05 said:

TarponChaser said:

....and I can't crap on his doorstep in private because he's got cameras.

FIFY. Just get over your privacy concerns.

Though maybe then you'd just tear the fence down and not rebuild?


Privacy is not a concern. Getting caught is.
Picard
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The cameras won't work without power.

Call the electric utility and place a disconnect order for his address.

Picard
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Stencil "Colombia Lumber Company" on all of the posts that face his side

normaleagle05
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Kinda the same thing.
Picard
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Call every fence company in town and have them come to his address to place a bid on fence replacement.

Picard
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AnScAggie
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AG
I can loan you a coondog or you could just purchase a really bright light.
Gunny456
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Why not just do nothing and let God judge him. Tomorrow about 2000 years ago a guiltless, innocent man was nailed to the Cross and he said "Father forgive them for they know not what they do."
If your neighbor is such a DH let God take care of him.
No need in you lowering yourself to his level.
You are better than that imho.
Zaiquiri
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AG
It's not hard to throw a turd if you freeze it first.
JB!98
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AG
I read a thread on this very website many years ago that advocated for tearing a fence down just to spite the neighbor. Cannot for the life of me remember how that turned out, but it is always an option.
Funky Winkerbean
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AG
Put bird seed in an ice tray and make ice. Take the seeded ice cubes and toss them into his yard at night. Repeat as necessary. He'll have a nice weed infested lawn in no time.
General Jack D. Ripper
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Bamboo. Bamboo is always the answer. Or build the fence then tear it down and come back to texags to plan a sausage fest at your house with strangers.
CS78
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I had a neighbor that insisted I pay for half of a fence. Or more so his wife did. She was a whip cracker that wanted things just perfect.

It wasn't that I didn't want to cover my half, it's that it really wasn't that bad. A couple post had rotted and I showed up with new post. I fix my fences myself and don't ask the neighbors for anything. His wife saw what I was about to do and sent him over to tell me that wasn't good enough. I reluctantly agreed to cover half of a new fence in order to keep relations in good standing.

They had been doing a ton of work on their house and not a week after the fence was done, the corksoakers put the house up for sale. Never again will I pay half of a fence that's really not that bad.
trip98
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Can't believe nobody has said air cannon yet.....board is still going downhill
ktownag08
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HOA complaint, if you have one, for the fence on the other side of his house being crappy and not matching the new one.

Point Man 81
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trip98 said:

Can't believe nobody has said air cannon yet.....board is still going downhill
Takes care of the grackles, too!
Morpholino
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Subtle but succinct propane cannon.

Dang it missed it by 30 min lol
MooreTrucker
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Point Man 81 said:

trip98 said:

Can't believe nobody has said air cannon yet.....board is still going downhill
Takes care of the grackles, too!
Where I used to work, they fired off one of those to scare off the grackles. They warned us and everyone around for a good two months before, so we wouldn't panic.
Jason_InfinityRoofer
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Gunny456 said:

Why not just do nothing and let God judge him. Tomorrow about 2000 years ago a guiltless, innocent man was nailed to the Cross and he said "Father forgive them for they know not what they do."
If your neighbor is such a DH let God take care of him.
No need in you lowering yourself to his level.
You are better than that imho.


I'm voting for this.

Three days ago, I was helping an ag replace their roof. 7 doors down, in a neighborhood of people that had already had replaced roofs, stood one roof that clearly had defect and damage. Against my better judgement, I decided to knock on their door and see if they needed help. I'm good at what I do and can accomplish things others can't. The door had a giant sign that said "Happy Ramadan". Seems nice enough. After knocking, a guy opened the door and without missing a beat said "get the f- out of here. I don't want it. Don't you EVER knock on my door again." I said "wow, well, have a great day." This was responded to with a "go f- yourself." It put me off. It almost ruined my day. But why?

You have to remember that some people just hate life. Your neighbor isn't mad at you. He isn't a jerk because of a personal vendetta against you. He hates his life. He wants to be angry. You are just the object of his anger when you spoke to him. Nothing more. Nothing less.

Read the parable of the empty boat and you'll see what I'm talking about.
https://linqapp.com/jason_duke --- JasonDuke@InfinityRoofer.com --- https://infinityrooferjason.blogspot.com/
Gunny456
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Well spoken sir.
cupofjoe04
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Well said.

I work with hurting, ugly, and angry people on the regular. Trying to help them, but they don't always see it that way. I often end up taking heat. That doesn't bother me near as much as the people who will be your friend for years, until you don't meet their expectation- then they want to crap all over you and treat you like an employee they somehow have authority over. Then the personal attacks start sometimes.

I always remind myself of a saying my wife taught me- "Hurting people hurt people." It's really got nothing to do with me. And taking things personally and reacting, only feeds the hurt exactly what it wants, and plunges that person deeper into their pain. Misery loves company. The only solution is to starve it, and feed it a steady diet of love and forgiveness. Responding with anger will never help them, and will only drag you into the hole with them. Easy to preach, hard to practice.

That being said, (and because I suspect OP is having a laugh with this thread)- I'm voting for painting a bunch of creepy looking alien symbols in invisible ink on his side of the fence. Then hide some black lights around his yard, that are hooked to a Bluetooth switch, which you controls
Jackrabbit Ag
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This Board always delivers!

Fences, Neighbors, Yellow Labs, Fat Side Up, White F150's, Black Panthers and Grizzlies in Carrizo Springs.

Happy Good Friday O.B. He is Risen!


CS78
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You sure you didn't talk to me? I told a roofer to leave and not come back this week. We got some dime sized hail and the vultures descended on the neighborhood.

They get their hooks in one neighbor and use that as an excuse to pester the chit out of everyone- "free roof inspections", "just wanted to let you know we're going to be working next door", "free roof inspections", "we're going to be working next door and wanted to give you a heads up", "free roof inspections". They pay zero attention to the no soliciting signs.

Dude had been by my house multiple times. Pestered my family multiple times, left fliers, etc. I was just waiting for him to show back up. Sees me in my yard and jumps out of the truck with his hand out. I cut him off- "dude, you've been by here five times, leave and don't come back." He walked off muttering something under his breath.

Maybe your guy doesn't hate life. Maybe he's just tired of roofers.

AggieOO
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Roofers, tree trimmers, landscape guys, at&t, spectrum, house painters, etc, etc. It's a constant barrage. They always seem to come when we are eating dinner, then act surprised when I'm less than thrilled. No soliciting signs don't do anything to deter.
AlaskanAg99
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Hard time believing if you have multiple posts rotted out that the rest isn't in bad shape.

I replaced my fences last year and it was an ordeal as the project grew 4x as big as each neighbor was on board and new ones kept joining the project so only half their fence wouldn't be new. The fence company did a good job but they were incredibly flaky and it took 6 months to get it done.

Anyway, I've had neighbors at another house that told me to pound sand. I'm always grateful when people jump on board and split costs. That's my 2 cents.
aTm '99
TarponChaser
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cupofjoe04 said:

That being said, (and because I suspect OP is having a laugh with this thread)- I'm voting for painting a bunch of creepy looking alien symbols in invisible ink on his side of the fence. Then hide some black lights around his yard, that are hooked to a Bluetooth switch, which you controls


Now this is the kind of recommendation I'm looking for.
jwoodmd
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Max Minimus said:

Bamboo. Bamboo is always the answer. Or build the fence then tear it down and come back to texags to plan a sausage fest at your house with strangers.
And make sure his mail order bride is invited and attends.
TarponChaser
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AggieOO said:

Roofers, tree trimmers, landscape guys, at&t, spectrum, house painters, etc, etc. It's a constant barrage. They always seem to come when we are eating dinner, then act surprised when I'm less than thrilled. No soliciting signs don't do anything to deter.

In the commercial real estate world I was once a tenant rep broker which is an old school, hard-core, cold-calling, door-knocking deal. You would suit up, go to the top floor of an office building with a portfolio full of marketing material and business cards and go knock on doors and try to get the receptionist to give you enough info to set a meeting. It was probably a 1-in-500 success rate which could pay off very well but it's tough. Think the iconic Alec Baldwin monologue from "Glengarry Glen Ross" is very much the vibe. I was only on that side of the business for about 5 years though, almost all of it through the "Great Recession" where deals were hard to come by and I realized I am not cut out for that deal.

So, while I'm almost certainly not going to use the services or buy whatever those solicitors are hawking I do respect the hustle and politely decline. That being said, our pest control company is a reputable one and has done a good job but they got my business because their sales dude was out pounding the pavement and knocking on doors in the middle of August in Houston. I figured that kind of hustle was worth going with.
txags92
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AG
Jason_InfinityRoofer said:

Gunny456 said:

Why not just do nothing and let God judge him. Tomorrow about 2000 years ago a guiltless, innocent man was nailed to the Cross and he said "Father forgive them for they know not what they do."
If your neighbor is such a DH let God take care of him.
No need in you lowering yourself to his level.
You are better than that imho.


I'm voting for this.

Three days ago, I was helping an ag replace their roof. 7 doors down, in a neighborhood of people that had already had replaced roofs, stood one roof that clearly had defect and damage. Against my better judgement, I decided to knock on their door and see if they needed help. I'm good at what I do and can accomplish things others can't. The door had a giant sign that said "Happy Ramadan". Seems nice enough. After knocking, a guy opened the door and without missing a beat said "get the f- out of here. I don't want it. Don't you EVER knock on my door again." I said "wow, well, have a great day." This was responded to with a "go f- yourself." It put me off. It almost ruined my day. But why?

You have to remember that some people just hate life. Your neighbor isn't mad at you. He isn't a jerk because of a personal vendetta against you. He hates his life. He wants to be angry. You are just the object of his anger when you spoke to him. Nothing more. Nothing less.

Read the parable of the empty boat and you'll see what I'm talking about.
Which former neighbor of ours in West Houston was that?

NM, you said 3 days ago, you replaced ours 3 years ago.
CS78
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AlaskanAg99 said:

Hard time believing if you have multiple posts rotted out that the rest isn't in bad shape.
Unfortunately, 95% of fence problems are rotted post. Extremely common for builders to go cheap and the post rot in 4-5 years. I usually just add a 4x4 and its good to go for another 10 years. The pickets usually last much longer, as long as they arent touching constantly wet ground.


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