well you clearly have bacon... so step 1 is done...

Yep. I guess step two would be the cheese, then spark that grill and crack a beer.

Step #1, stop feeding it potatoes

Had a similar thing happen back when I lived in Midland. Kept hanging around our backyard (fence, roof, pool area) and would not leave. Afraid my daughters may have fed it. I got out my binoculars and was able to read a phone number on the leg band. Told the guy "I think I have your racing pigeon", his reply was "if it didn't come home I don't want it".

So I finally catch it with the pool net and put it in a cardboard box. The next morning I take it to work with me to downtown Midland where there are lots of pigeons and I was going to let it go. It's a 10 mile drive. The box was in the back of my pickup and when I got there the lid was off but he was still in the box, just waiting for me.
So I get him out and he flies off downtown.

That night I get home and guess who was waiting on my back fence!

I finally had to get mean and kept throwing a beach ball at him till he got the message and left and never came back. So good luck!

You couldn't find anything harder than a beach ball?

These guys have plenty of experience in that realm, but I don't know about their success rate:

Yes I tracked down the owner via the band and got the same response. Seems like a pretty ****ty sport if you ask me.

Be pretty funny if the person who made that call was a gw and showed up at his door a couple hours later with a ticket for knowingly releasing feral/invasive species.

10 posts and no pew pew suggestions. Wtf OB

you think my suggestion involved just wrapping a live bird in bacon?!?

I don't know how you eat dove.. but i like mine dead, cleaned and cooked!

DUman can offer some advice

agrams said:

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you think my suggestion involved just wrapping a live bird in bacon?!?

I don't know how you eat dove.. but i like mine dead, cleaned and cooked!

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ha I just assumed the first step to doing anything is eating some bacon.

oh FFS a picture of ron swanson gets blocked....

Text the guy this pic

Stan Crowch said:

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Yes I've told my bil to stop that. Definitely not helping. Also told him to stop cutting his eggs up like a toddler.

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This is the post that bothered me the most -- the crack on the egg cut up. I do the same to get the max distribution of yolk, hot sauce and whatever else I have working with the eggs. I thought everyone cut up their fried eggs.

Then this one

So there i was in the south China sea, just enjoying my day, when several pigeons with multiple bands and Chinese stamps all over them decided to make my good vessel home. Well that just isn't gonna work given the nature of the vessel. Being as trusting as they are, they let me get close enough to thwack em with a broomstick. One of ems head came clean off and popped straight up in the air. They had stamps all over the top and underside of their wings and several bands that I am not sure was the purpose of, but we didn't keep em around long enough to find out. They were probably just racing pigeons but who knows.

HtownAg92 said:

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Stan Crowch said:

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Yes I've told my bil to stop that. Definitely not helping. Also told him to stop cutting his eggs up like a toddler.

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This is the post that bothered me the most -- the crack on the egg cut up. I do the same to get the max distribution of yolk, hot sauce and whatever else I have working with the eggs. I thought everyone cut up their fried eggs.

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No