You guys know bits and pieces of our story, but I thought I'd fill in some blanks for those who might not. After graduating from A&M with a B.S. in agronomy and an MBA, Melissa and I got married in Bryan on January 3, 1981. I began a career in banking which I did for about 15 years. In 1987, while we were living in Baton Rouge, where I worked for Hibernia National Bank, our second child, Holden, was born. When he was six weeks old, he was diagnosed with a brain tumour - in the span of about two hours, our world was turned upside down and lives changed forever.
Holden's tumour was removed and determined to be benign, but about 72 hours later, he suffered a
hemorrhage causing severe brain damage. Holden lived just over 18 years, but was dependent on our family for all of his care - feeding, dressing, bathing. He was in wheelchair and couldn't speak, and had vision impairment. And everyday, we were blessed by him as we learned what it really is to love.
On December 9, 2005, Holden died at home, in front of me, Melissa and our son, Brien, who was 13 at the time. At Holden's funeral, the church was packed with not only family and friends, but many of the kids, now in high school, who had been his friends, pushed his wheelchair to the lunchroom and music. A number of them came to us in tears, telling us how they were going into special ed or medicine because of Holden's impact on their lives.
After the dust settled, we tried to move on with our lives, but it wasn't easy. Holden had been the focus of everything we had done for over eighteen years. Our marriage suffered, and we were actually separated for several months a few years after his death. I learned I was suffering from severe anxiety which actually dated back to my childhood, and had a detrimental impact on just about every part of my life.
Brien is an extremely smart kid, but he went into a tailspin during high school. In short, he made some bad choices which fortunately didn't ruin his life. His grades also suffered and with the 10% rule, he had no chance of getting into A&M, so we looked east. He was admitted at Ole Miss, Arkansas and Alabama, where he decided to go, beginning in 2010. School came in third behind fraternity and partying, and his grades reflected it.
Along about the same time he left for Alabama, Melissa and I started getting involved in short term mission through an organisation, Rivers of the World. This led us to Vietnam, Peru and Congo and we began to feel God calling us to full time mission work. And we continued to worry about Brien. Despite those worries, the calling we felt was stronger, so in 2015, we joined Presbyterian World Mission, and as many of you know we now serve in Zambia.
A couple of years ago, we finally told Brien he needed to grow up and decide what he wanted out of life. We also told him it was time to take a timeout from school. During that time, he worked cooking in a cafe in Tuscaloosa. In May of 2017, he returned to school and since that time, his GPA has been about 3.6.
In December, we'll fly home for a couple of weeks to attend his graduation and spend Christmas with him and our daughter's family. We're very proud of him - I've told him a number of times everyone loves a comeback story. But I'm even more proud of our journey and how we've responded to all of the challenges we've faced. I'm overwhelmed by the love people have shown us during our lives and in large part, I believe that's what lead us to mission. I guess my real point in posting this is to let you guys know that even in the face of adversity there's a better day ahead. If any of you guys are struggling, hang in there and know it will get better.
Blessings,
OEFM
Holden's tumour was removed and determined to be benign, but about 72 hours later, he suffered a
hemorrhage causing severe brain damage. Holden lived just over 18 years, but was dependent on our family for all of his care - feeding, dressing, bathing. He was in wheelchair and couldn't speak, and had vision impairment. And everyday, we were blessed by him as we learned what it really is to love.
On December 9, 2005, Holden died at home, in front of me, Melissa and our son, Brien, who was 13 at the time. At Holden's funeral, the church was packed with not only family and friends, but many of the kids, now in high school, who had been his friends, pushed his wheelchair to the lunchroom and music. A number of them came to us in tears, telling us how they were going into special ed or medicine because of Holden's impact on their lives.
After the dust settled, we tried to move on with our lives, but it wasn't easy. Holden had been the focus of everything we had done for over eighteen years. Our marriage suffered, and we were actually separated for several months a few years after his death. I learned I was suffering from severe anxiety which actually dated back to my childhood, and had a detrimental impact on just about every part of my life.
Brien is an extremely smart kid, but he went into a tailspin during high school. In short, he made some bad choices which fortunately didn't ruin his life. His grades also suffered and with the 10% rule, he had no chance of getting into A&M, so we looked east. He was admitted at Ole Miss, Arkansas and Alabama, where he decided to go, beginning in 2010. School came in third behind fraternity and partying, and his grades reflected it.
Along about the same time he left for Alabama, Melissa and I started getting involved in short term mission through an organisation, Rivers of the World. This led us to Vietnam, Peru and Congo and we began to feel God calling us to full time mission work. And we continued to worry about Brien. Despite those worries, the calling we felt was stronger, so in 2015, we joined Presbyterian World Mission, and as many of you know we now serve in Zambia.
A couple of years ago, we finally told Brien he needed to grow up and decide what he wanted out of life. We also told him it was time to take a timeout from school. During that time, he worked cooking in a cafe in Tuscaloosa. In May of 2017, he returned to school and since that time, his GPA has been about 3.6.
In December, we'll fly home for a couple of weeks to attend his graduation and spend Christmas with him and our daughter's family. We're very proud of him - I've told him a number of times everyone loves a comeback story. But I'm even more proud of our journey and how we've responded to all of the challenges we've faced. I'm overwhelmed by the love people have shown us during our lives and in large part, I believe that's what lead us to mission. I guess my real point in posting this is to let you guys know that even in the face of adversity there's a better day ahead. If any of you guys are struggling, hang in there and know it will get better.
Blessings,
OEFM