Long story short, I grew up in a house with guns. My wife didn't, and is absolutely terrified of guns and questions my need for one.

My wife and in laws are conservative and not against the second amendment or anything, they just strongly refuse to exercise their right to keep and bear arms. At least my mother in law and wife feel that way. Not sure about my father in law. I'd say he's indifferent. Unlike many, I love my in laws. They're awesome. They only reason I mention them is that my wife's fear of guns is due to how she was raised and she's the kind of person that doesn't go against the way she was raised.

I used to have a Glock pistol which I regretfully sold to my dad, and still have a shotgun sitting in a closet at my folks house.

Anyone navigated this touchy subject before with their spouse? Neither of us are willing to budge an inch on this.


UPDATE:

I'm not sure why, but after further discussion with my wife she had a change of heart or at least we reached a compromise. Keeping a gun in the house is fine, so long as it's always locked up and she doesn't partake in anything related to learning how to shoot a firearm. Previously, she wouldn't go even with this.

Soon thereafter, I purchased a Glock 23.

To all the other folks that asked questions:

Not every single thing gets vetted during the dating process. If it were, there wouldn't be any divorces or much to ever argue about.

I sold the previous glock pistol I owned years before my wife and I ever met. I never got another one in the years that followed because of living with a convicted felon as a roommate--he wasn't allowed to ever live in a house with a firearm. His crime wasn't anything violent--he basically did the same thing Joel Goodson did, just in college instead of high school and no Porsche was involved.

Staff/moderators: Really???? You gotta be ****ting me that this was not an appropriate topic for the outsdoor board.

[This is the Outdoor Forum, not the General Board. Posters need to remember that when replying on this thread. We take out the trash very quickly on this board. -Staff]

In

This kind of **** is supposed to be vetted during the dating process.

Is she against you having it in some type of gun safe?

Surprisingly, the topic never really came up during the dating process. I didn't have a checklist of topics. And I'm not a gun fanatic.

Plus, that's a sunk issue. I don't have a time machine to go back in time and hash this out.

My wife was very unfamiliar with guns when we got married, similar situation to yours. I haven't pushed her, but offered to take her and allow her to shoot guns when at the range. I basically took the stance that I was a hunter and gun owner when we met. Not changing, she can choose to partake if she wants. Results may vary with that approach, she was reasonable. She has since shot a couple of the guns I own while at the range. She is still uncomfortable loading and unloading anything other than HER revolver. She's coming around now though.

I'm no help on this but my wife had never seen a gun in person until our first date. I took her to the gun range. Probably a bad idea in hindsight but it worked out.

I have a feeling most on this board would agree that they wouldn't marry someone who didn't allow a gun in the house.

She doesn't want a gun in the house period. If I ever convinced her to be okay with it, I'm sure a gun safe would be a prerequisite which I'm fine with. Is probably go with a biometric safe for quick access In an emergency. Also, I'd take the LTC class and get a carry license.

My wife was against guns in the home for a while. She was never around them. I wasn't worried about it since I was too poor at the time we got married to be buying guns anyway and knew it work work itself out over time. Then I took her shooting and she was better at killing the paper that day than I was. Problem fixed. At one point, before the boating accident, we had a safe full.

Buy a safe. Buy some guns. Take your wife shooting.

its possible that you could reach her on this one, but another female shooter or preferably an instructor is probably going to have an easier time.

No matter wha you do from here, you absolutely must understand the following generalization about women (apologies to anyone I may offend with this, by I've generally found it to be true): women have an extra organ than men. It's called a security gland, and when it's demanding attention, no amount of reasoning, logic, arguing or appeal is going to stop the security gland from being in charge. To be crude about it, women are as affected by their security glands as men are by our *****es.

Your wife is probably not actually scared of the physical gun. What scares her is the potential for harm to you, her or others that a gun can cause when used improperly or if it "accidentally goes off". This is what is causing her security gland to spasm. About the only thing I've ever seen help soothe this response is....knowledge. That's why I recommend finding a class for beginners that the two of you can take together, preferably with an instructor who knows and respects her concerns on the issue. Once she knows how to safely handle one, her attitude may shift on the issue.

Wife wasnt necessarily scared of guns but was very cautious around them. Was very nervous when I started carrying. Have her take a class TOUGH BY SOMEONE OTHER THAN YOURSELF. Get her comfortable with guns and have her see them for what they are.
Its now the point where my wife double check to make sure I have one on when we go out. Ill sometimes carry a backup for her.

I'd set aside a time for you to sit down with her and show your knowledge of the gun. Start with it broken down in its base components and teach her how it all works and assemble it. Go through all of the firing steps and show her how a trigger guard works. What I'm getting at is you need to show her that you are very competent with the gun and that it is not something that can't be controlled or secured when unattended. Have a place in mind where you want to store it and show her where. If she still can't agree with it after all of that then I don't know what you're supposed to do.

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its possible that you could reach her on this one, but another female shooter or preferably an instructor is probably going to have an easier time.

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I am a female shooter and probably own more guns than my hubby. Take Bender's advice! It is critical she go to the range for a "fun" girl instructed learn how to shoot event.

I hate when my hubby coaches me, but can take that exact tidbit of advice from another male in our shooting club.

If you are near Austin or B/CS, contact Karl Rehn. He has some fantastic classes and one of his instructors is female. Another option is "A girl and a Gun"--an all ladies shooting club. Very fun and they will teach her to shoot and all about gun safety. Snook has a chapter run by 2 awesome ladies.

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I'd set aside a time for you to sit down with her and show your knowledge of the gun. Start with it broken down in its base components and teach her how it all works and assemble it. Go through all of the firing steps and show her how a trigger guard works. What I'm getting at is you need to show her that you are very competent with the gun and that it is not something that can't be controlled or secured when unattended. Have a place in mind where you want to store it and show her where. If she still can't agree with it after all of that then I don't know what you're supposed to do.

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I would NOT start here IMHO. I like to shoot and don't give a darn about all the bits and pieces. Hubby cleans them and sights in my optics. My guns are always range ready.

Sit down with her, and tell her to imagine your front door being kicked down in the middle of the night, and a strange person coming into your house. Ask her how she plans to protect you and herself (and children in the future) from harm. Does she want to ask the man to me nice until the cops arrive? I would be very interested to hear her response to this. Then, ask her mother how she would like you to protect her daughter without a firearm present...

I taught lots of people to shoot, including women and I didn't dare try to do the initial shooting instruction with my wife. Let someone else make the connection.

My wife has no problem with gun, was raised around them, but was never given a opportunity to handle them. She had a lot of reservations about handling firearms. Now when the subject comes up, we go out an shoot (not to say this happens often).

So follow the advice of others, find someone else, preferably a woman, to broach the subject.

It's all about education on how to handle guns. I understand someone who wasn't raised right being afraid of them, but proper education can solve all problems. It's certainly worked with my wife.

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Surprisingly, the topic never really came up during the dating process

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Good lord

Double date with friends to a range or intro class. Also, try and figure out the genesis of her "fear"....do yall have kids? Scared they will get them?

This sounds logical

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Sit down with her, and tell her to imagine your front door being kicked down in the middle of the night, and a strange person coming into your house. Ask her how she plans to protect you and herself (and children in the future) from harm. Does she want to ask the man to me nice until the cops arrive? I would be very interested to hear her response to this. Then, ask her mother how she would like you to protect her daughter without a firearm present...

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Umm, yeah, don't do this.

Scare tactics don't work.

I'm with dubi. I'm a female shooter also and don't own near enough guns as I'm only a poor teacher However, I am a member of A Girl and A Gun and it is great. Women teaching other women how to shoot, and shoot well, how to defend themselves, getting to shoot stuff I wouldn't normally get to shoot, etc.

Threads like these make me appreciate my wife so much.

I guess I'm of the "I have guns, leave if you're not Ok with that" mentality. Assuming you don't have kids... Guns in nightstands/random places within your house pose no threat to her if she never touches them.

I don't have any kids, but the treat all guns as if they were loaded (because they are) is extremely important around my house, as there isn't much use in owning an unloaded gun (for home defense).

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The pussificafion of America continues.

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This will sound crazy but here me out



YES THAT DID SOUND CRAZY. BEST NOT TO POST WHEN DRUNK - STAFF

Did she ever watch doomsday preppers? My fiancee was real iffy on guns, she was a lib from Iowa yet her entire family is gun loving conservatives. I already had 2 guns when we met. Then she started watching doomsday preppers and told me to buy more guns and ammo, so that's what I did. I'm no prepper either.

She still hasn't gone to the range with me yet but she is definitely more cool about guns now.

please let us know how this resolves itself.

My wife can hunt em, shoot em, clean em, butcher em, and cook em. Whatever she says goes. No motorcycles in the house! OK Honey. Dammit.

Show her the news stories of the increasing home invasions happening right now across the country. Then, show her the stories of how the home owners smoked these fools when they had guns at home or on their persons.

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Show her the news stories of the increasing home invasions happening right now across the country. Then, show her the stories of how the home owners smoked these fools when they had guns at home or on their persons.

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Won't work. Not quite as bad a plan as "have a friend terrorize your wife", but won't do a damn thing to change her mind about keeping a gun in the house.

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It's all about education on how to handle guns. I understand someone who wasn't raised right being afraid of them, but proper education can solve all problems. It's certainly worked with my wife.

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Bingo! This isn't a "oh crap I married a crazy liberal" problem, so it's an easy fix. Ignorance of a topic can make someone afraid. If she learns about gun safety and proper handling, she can probably be brought around.

Seriously though, you have to get her around either a pro or another female she trusts. Also, have you actually had the conversation about how important it is to you?

http://videos.myoutdoortv.com/motv/ If you don't have the outdoor channel or sportsmans, and you do have a streaming device, you could start watching this channel and help introduce her to the shooting sports. The shows under the Shooting category are pretty good, as they are well sponsored.

http://videos.myoutdoortv.com/motv/shows/shooting/6

Its Video on Demand and Best Defense has an episode on home invasion.


You could also point out that in Texas Gun Safes double as Jewelry Boxes.