Meant to post this last week, but we've been busy.
Gentleman walked in and we talked for a bit about guns. Go figure. After discussing a few things, he looks at me and asks, "Have you ever seen anything in the woods you can't explain?"
Oh boy.
"Honestly, no I haven't. I'm assuming you have?"
He pauses a moment and asks, "Well, do you believe there are things out there that you don't understand?"
Yep, we have a live one. I can't resist, I must know. I'm betting alien abduction. Possibly even met Michael Jackson while he was on the ship.
"I keep a very open mind about things in this world. I'm curious about what you saw."
He looks at me a bit, I can see he's trying to figure out if he can trust me. His face relaxes and I realize that I've passed the test. Score.
"I met my best friend while hunting at a National Forest about twenty years ago. He walked up to camp with a handful of dirty rice and asked, 'Is anyone hungry?' We made fast friends and have been hunting buddies ever since."
Yep. Got drunk. Maybe rice man drugged him. He hallucinated. That's when the anal probe happened.
"Well, a group of us were hunting and we hear the blood curdling scream. Something not human. Then a very large rock rolled past our camp."
I'm wrong. Dead wrong. It's a bigfoot.
"We all got our guns and looked up the hill, and there's a creature, taller than any man I've seen, hulking and looking at us. Angry. Eyes on fire."
Just tell me it's a bigfoot.
"We don't shoot it because we just didn't know what it was..."
Ok...
"Then another time... I was out deer hunting. In a stand. 12 feet in the air. Out of the blue, I feel something pulling on my foot. Pulling hard."
Will you please just admit you're talking about bigfoot here?
"I look down, and there he is again. I pulled out my pistol and thought not to shoot him."
Dude, why oh why would you not shoot this thing? It's got your leg, dragging your ass out of a tree stand and you actively think, I'm not going to shoot him? Also, you still haven't admitted it's bigfoot. Just say it. You and I both know that's what you're talking about.
Takes me a second, but I have to ask, "Well, why didn't you shoot him?"
"Well, I was going to. But then I thought, what was bigfoot's brother or dad going to do? Might not be the best idea."
FINALLY! YOU ADMIT IT!
"We do have a lot of track imprints and the like. Took several molds. Hair samples."
It kind of trailed off from there. I really think I need to have a film crew in here, at times. This stuff is just gold.
Gentleman walked in and we talked for a bit about guns. Go figure. After discussing a few things, he looks at me and asks, "Have you ever seen anything in the woods you can't explain?"
Oh boy.
"Honestly, no I haven't. I'm assuming you have?"
He pauses a moment and asks, "Well, do you believe there are things out there that you don't understand?"
Yep, we have a live one. I can't resist, I must know. I'm betting alien abduction. Possibly even met Michael Jackson while he was on the ship.
"I keep a very open mind about things in this world. I'm curious about what you saw."
He looks at me a bit, I can see he's trying to figure out if he can trust me. His face relaxes and I realize that I've passed the test. Score.
"I met my best friend while hunting at a National Forest about twenty years ago. He walked up to camp with a handful of dirty rice and asked, 'Is anyone hungry?' We made fast friends and have been hunting buddies ever since."
Yep. Got drunk. Maybe rice man drugged him. He hallucinated. That's when the anal probe happened.
"Well, a group of us were hunting and we hear the blood curdling scream. Something not human. Then a very large rock rolled past our camp."
I'm wrong. Dead wrong. It's a bigfoot.
"We all got our guns and looked up the hill, and there's a creature, taller than any man I've seen, hulking and looking at us. Angry. Eyes on fire."
Just tell me it's a bigfoot.
"We don't shoot it because we just didn't know what it was..."
Ok...
"Then another time... I was out deer hunting. In a stand. 12 feet in the air. Out of the blue, I feel something pulling on my foot. Pulling hard."
Will you please just admit you're talking about bigfoot here?
"I look down, and there he is again. I pulled out my pistol and thought not to shoot him."
Dude, why oh why would you not shoot this thing? It's got your leg, dragging your ass out of a tree stand and you actively think, I'm not going to shoot him? Also, you still haven't admitted it's bigfoot. Just say it. You and I both know that's what you're talking about.
Takes me a second, but I have to ask, "Well, why didn't you shoot him?"
"Well, I was going to. But then I thought, what was bigfoot's brother or dad going to do? Might not be the best idea."
FINALLY! YOU ADMIT IT!
"We do have a lot of track imprints and the like. Took several molds. Hair samples."
It kind of trailed off from there. I really think I need to have a film crew in here, at times. This stuff is just gold.
