This story is kind of old but after telling it to coworkers and many friends I decided to share it because of their enthusiasm as to the f---ed up situations that has happened to me:
About 3-4 years ago I needed a toolbox for my truck, I wanted a black diamond plate “chest” type that sat in the bed. Tractor supply had them for about $350 and I’m a thrifty shopper so I start shopping around. I hit up craigslist, found one in Conroe (1hour away) for $50, looks mint condition, so I’m like f--- yeah. Anyway I head out there, guy sounds legit on the phone, etc. and when I get there I come to find out he lives in the ****ing boonies.
As I pull up to the ranch I see no one, and the gate at the entrance just opens out of the nowhere. I pull up to the house, get out of the truck and no one comes out, etc. and 6-7 dogs come rounding the corner and the biggest one, a German shepherd buries his nose in my crotch. Next a flamboyant guy comes walking out of the house, snaps his finger at the dog and says “No BRUNO, don’t do that to him, you know you’re your daddy is!” I turn back to my truck and pop a knife in my pocket, now officially freaked out. He keeps wanting to show me the property, saying he has a 9 acre stock pond at the very back, etc. and anyway we walk around the back of the house to walk in and there are I **** you not 6 deep freezers on his patio. So I’m thinking, mother of god those are stuffed with dead bodies, etc.
He says the toolbox is in the house and he can’t lift it himself so we walk in. Mind you this was a country guy living in a four bedroom house on a ranch and the house was perfectly clean, everything in its place etc. with a weird smell, almost like a hospital lab smell. So he wants to give me a tour, as if I had a choice it seemed like, on one side of the house are 3 bedrooms, each one is completely identical, same bed, furniture, wall paper, carpet, etc. and had an empty birdcage in the corner, WTF!!!! His bedroom had a bed sheet covering the entrance, I guess so I couldn't see his rape and torture devices. So we walk into the den where the toolbox is sitting in the middle of the room, so I’m freaking out, thinking WTF now a midget going to pop out of there, stab me and then they will take turns raping me?
He sits down and I go sit on the opposite side of the room, he asks me where I’m from, I lied and said El Paso and then asks me if I had ever been to a foam party, I answered no and he just says “good…people die at those you know” in a really creepy way. Then asks me if there is a lot of sex in College Station, I answer well it is a college town, etc. And then he goes on to say he needs renters and would give free rent if you help out around the house, etc. So then I’m like **** this, and say can we just get the ****ing toolbox out and I can leave. So we carry it out to my truck, I pay him, reach out to shake his hand and he hugs me, WTF!!!! So I hop in my truck do a 180 in his front yard hauling ass out of there and to my left I see a wood statue of a male torso carved by hand, DICK AND ALL, at the exit.
About a week later I get a call from him and don’t answer, he leaves a 5 minute voicemail talking about how much he loved that toolbox and missed it and wondered if I knew of any guys that wanted to live there, rent for free, etc. So I Google him, come to find out he’s a famous gay rodeo star that even has a movie about him. His partner died of AIDS. I never heard anything else from him thank god.
You cannot make this s--- up:
Google: Gene Mikulenka
His Movie:
http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1808658874/info
Moral of the story, either take someone with you or meet in a public place.
I posted it over here as a comparison to the responses I'd get from the GB.
About 3-4 years ago I needed a toolbox for my truck, I wanted a black diamond plate “chest” type that sat in the bed. Tractor supply had them for about $350 and I’m a thrifty shopper so I start shopping around. I hit up craigslist, found one in Conroe (1hour away) for $50, looks mint condition, so I’m like f--- yeah. Anyway I head out there, guy sounds legit on the phone, etc. and when I get there I come to find out he lives in the ****ing boonies.
As I pull up to the ranch I see no one, and the gate at the entrance just opens out of the nowhere. I pull up to the house, get out of the truck and no one comes out, etc. and 6-7 dogs come rounding the corner and the biggest one, a German shepherd buries his nose in my crotch. Next a flamboyant guy comes walking out of the house, snaps his finger at the dog and says “No BRUNO, don’t do that to him, you know you’re your daddy is!” I turn back to my truck and pop a knife in my pocket, now officially freaked out. He keeps wanting to show me the property, saying he has a 9 acre stock pond at the very back, etc. and anyway we walk around the back of the house to walk in and there are I **** you not 6 deep freezers on his patio. So I’m thinking, mother of god those are stuffed with dead bodies, etc.
He says the toolbox is in the house and he can’t lift it himself so we walk in. Mind you this was a country guy living in a four bedroom house on a ranch and the house was perfectly clean, everything in its place etc. with a weird smell, almost like a hospital lab smell. So he wants to give me a tour, as if I had a choice it seemed like, on one side of the house are 3 bedrooms, each one is completely identical, same bed, furniture, wall paper, carpet, etc. and had an empty birdcage in the corner, WTF!!!! His bedroom had a bed sheet covering the entrance, I guess so I couldn't see his rape and torture devices. So we walk into the den where the toolbox is sitting in the middle of the room, so I’m freaking out, thinking WTF now a midget going to pop out of there, stab me and then they will take turns raping me?
He sits down and I go sit on the opposite side of the room, he asks me where I’m from, I lied and said El Paso and then asks me if I had ever been to a foam party, I answered no and he just says “good…people die at those you know” in a really creepy way. Then asks me if there is a lot of sex in College Station, I answer well it is a college town, etc. And then he goes on to say he needs renters and would give free rent if you help out around the house, etc. So then I’m like **** this, and say can we just get the ****ing toolbox out and I can leave. So we carry it out to my truck, I pay him, reach out to shake his hand and he hugs me, WTF!!!! So I hop in my truck do a 180 in his front yard hauling ass out of there and to my left I see a wood statue of a male torso carved by hand, DICK AND ALL, at the exit.
About a week later I get a call from him and don’t answer, he leaves a 5 minute voicemail talking about how much he loved that toolbox and missed it and wondered if I knew of any guys that wanted to live there, rent for free, etc. So I Google him, come to find out he’s a famous gay rodeo star that even has a movie about him. His partner died of AIDS. I never heard anything else from him thank god.
You cannot make this s--- up:
Google: Gene Mikulenka
His Movie:
http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1808658874/info
Moral of the story, either take someone with you or meet in a public place.
I posted it over here as a comparison to the responses I'd get from the GB.
