I don't know that I agree with all this. There have always been reluctant boys and young men. It is what you make of it. I had a bonus son later in life so he's the prism through which I see this. He's 22, gave college a try and decided it wasn't for him. 2 weekends ago we had an engagement party for he and his fiance after he proposed to her earlier in the day. A lot of his friends were there for the day and all of them were with girlfriends and they're all finishing up college. My kiddo closed on his first home last Thursday.

The guys he's been around all his life haven't fit this picture I've picked up from this thread.

The worst is churches.

If you're a guy, you have exactly 1 chance with any woman currently attending your church.

If she turns you down, all of the other women know it, and will never go out with you because in their minds, you see them as "second best."

I remember talking to someone at church years ago and he couldn't believe how bad it churches had become in that regard. He met his wife in church, as did many others he attended church with in college. Those who didn't usually met a their wife at some other church related function. And this was 15 years ago when I had that discussion with him.

His wife made the point that church girls are raised with such lofty expectations that they must only settle for "the best" and that is because they're taught God has someone picked out for them and he will be "perfect."

AgNav93 said:

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I'm so glad I grew up in the 80s. This is depressing to read.

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Man you ain't kidding. I'm an average looking guy but can talk to anyone and could make people laugh. It wasn't that hard to get dates. But we didn't have texting and cell phones and actually had to converse and talk.

BadMoonRisin said:

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Isn't this similar to what has happened to men in Japan?

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Yup. See "Grass eating men" or "herbivore men".

Quote:

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In Japan, "grass-eating men" refers to a cultural phenomenon describing young men who are characterized by their passive attitudes towards relationships and traditional masculinity.

Definition and Characteristics

Origin of the Term: Coined by author Maki ***asawa in 2006, the term "herbivore men" describes young men who are less aggressive in pursuing romantic relationships and often express a preference for non-assertive, gentle behaviors. They are seen as rejecting traditional masculine roles that emphasize assertiveness and competitiveness.

Behavioral Traits: Herbivore men are typically characterized by their lack of interest in sexual relationships, lower career ambitions, and a preference for hobbies such as shopping, fashion, and beautification practices. They often prioritize platonic friendships over romantic ones and are perceived as more in touch with their emotions compared to previous generations.

Cultural Impact: This phenomenon has sparked discussions about Japan's declining birth rate and economic stagnation, as these men are often viewed as contributing to a shift away from traditional family structures and consumer behaviors. Critics argue that their disinterest in marriage and relationships is a significant factor in Japan's demographic challenges.

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I've been happily married for 25 years now. I can't imagine at age 40 or 45 having to go into today's dating pool with all the "boss girl" types.

Shumba said:

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I've got a 16-year-old son, varsity football player, and his first date was this year's homecoming game with a girl from the dance squad that his buddy set him up with. I asked him if he called her to chat her up and he was like, "No, she hasn't liked me on Instagram yet". I'm like, what the heck are you talking about?! Give this girl a call! He was adamant that you can't "just call up girls anymore, Dad, they have to like you on social media first". It's stupid.

My 13-year-old daughter chimed in and said the same thing. Social media has ruined these kids. The craziest thing is, my son showed me a picture of the group that he went out to dinner with for homecoming, and it was six boys, and like 15 girls! Only six of the girls had dates because no other boys would ask these girls out so they just all went out together. I was beside myself, and I told him that any one of those girls would have jumped at a chance to go out with a boy. You just have to ask them. He called me a boomer and said it's not as easy as it was back in the 90's to date girls. I mean, you would think that athletes would have an upper hand in the dating game, but my son tells me that a lot of girls want guys that look like that "Timothee Chamalet" dude. I don't get it.

---

I have experienced similar situations in a non dating context. I asked my 17 year old daughter to get some academic information from another girl in her class. She was hesitant. Why? "Because you can't just text someone out of the blue.... its just weird". She needed something for school and something stupid was holding her up.


Kids these days.

Wish I was 20 again....Sounds like some fertile hunting grounds.

I definitely saw the "lack of dating" trend among my now-adult children.

At the same time, most of the young adults I know -- family, friends of my kids, kids of my friends -- are married now. One of my kids has been in something like 10 weddings!

So despite all the negative information out there, there are plenty of young people still getting married and having children.

doubledog said:

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Science Denier said:

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Quote:

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45% of men aged 18-25 have never approached a woman in person

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Well, uh, go ahead and call me skeptical.

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Agreed, the 45% never approached... is just B.S.
45% of men have been rejected by a women (out of their league). This I can believe.

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45% of 18-25 year old males? Yeah I think it is B.S. I think it's probably more like 65% who haven't approached a woman in person. The digital age has destroyed in-person social interaction among young people, and it is now considered weird or creepy by most women if you just walk up and start talking to them and/or hit on them. They want to be behind their phones where they can screen guys for looks, income, etc. before meeting them in person.

Quote:

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They want to be behind their phones where they can screen guys for looks, income, etc. before meeting them in person.

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Facts, amongst other ridiculous tactics.

Im Gipper said:

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These are the young men attracted to weirdos like Nick Fuentes and claim he is taking over. They are clueless on any societal norms or how to act in public. They think X is real ilfe.

It really is sad.

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And who view people like Andrew Tate as role models as well.

Young men who treat women with respect are doing fine.

As long as they aren't soy boys or branch covidians you are correct. Both sides have idiots who have no chance with women.

AozorAg said:

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doubledog said:

---

Science Denier said:

---

Quote:

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45% of men aged 18-25 have never approached a woman in person

---

Well, uh, go ahead and call me skeptical.

---

Agreed, the 45% never approached... is just B.S.
45% of men have been rejected by a women (out of their league). This I can believe.

---

45% of 18-25 year old males? Yeah I think it is B.S. I think it's probably more like 65% who haven't approached a woman in person. The digital age has destroyed in-person social interaction among young people, and it is now considered weird or creepy by most women if you just walk up and start talking to them and/or hit on them. They want to be behind their phones where they can screen guys for looks, income, etc. before meeting them in person.

---

This exactly is the problem.

For boys its the same thing. They are afraid of rejection so it is much safer to text and fish around rather than deal with it in person.

Shumba said:

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I've got a 16-year-old son, varsity football player, and his first date was this year's homecoming game with a girl from the dance squad that his buddy set him up with. I asked him if he called her to chat her up and he was like, "No, she hasn't liked me on Instagram yet". I'm like, what the heck are you talking about?! Give this girl a call! He was adamant that you can't "just call up girls anymore, Dad, they have to like you on social media first". It's stupid.

My 13-year-old daughter chimed in and said the same thing. Social media has ruined these kids. The craziest thing is, my son showed me a picture of the group that he went out to dinner with for homecoming, and it was six boys, and like 15 girls! Only six of the girls had dates because no other boys would ask these girls out so they just all went out together. I was beside myself, and I told him that any one of those girls would have jumped at a chance to go out with a boy. You just have to ask them. He called me a boomer and said it's not as easy as it was back in the 90's to date girls. I mean, you would think that athletes would have an upper hand in the dating game, but my son tells me that a lot of girls want guys that look like that "Timothee Chamalet" dude. I don't get it.

---

So funny you should talk about the like on social media thing.

My daughter is 38, has a 19 month old baby boy and has been in the process of getting a divorce from a former Aggie athlete for almost a year. Her entire social media is her and her son. She has a degree from Texas A &M. She was very popular in high school and college. She is currently working to get into sonography school. She has no desire to date anyone and wants to be able to support herself and her son.

She was recently followed by several current Aggie athletes . She said , what are these guys thinking? She is obviously at least 15 years older.

titan said:

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5Amp said:

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Young white males are being kicked to the curb by the MSM left's campaign promoting white guilt and DEI.

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That's an example of the press political class are a big part of the problem. And yes, they are mostly Boomers/Silents, so that over-simplified blame makes the rounds. Truth is any Boomer or Silent voters are just as powerless to hold accountable the ruling class as any younger ones. It's really disgusting how immune they are.

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The majority of Boomers are no longer in power iwithin corporate America, this is all on Generation X and their liberal females.

Boomers didn't create white flight or DEI. That was the greatest Generation that started that nonsense. Boomers did pass the torch to generation x who has since put that nonsense on steroids. Don't recall boomers letting their boys be sisters.

As a 40 year old divorcee, I can completely vouch for how infuriatingly stupid social media and online dating have made relationships and dating these days. Sure, if you're just down to go out all the time, meet a bunch of randos, and bang like you're still in your 20s then fine. No problem. If you actually want to get to know someone substantively and date with purpose then it's a train wreck and not worth the time. It's a far cry from what dating was like in college and before I got married, that's for sure.

2aggiesmom said:

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Shumba said:

---

I've got a 16-year-old son, varsity football player, and his first date was this year's homecoming game with a girl from the dance squad that his buddy set him up with. I asked him if he called her to chat her up and he was like, "No, she hasn't liked me on Instagram yet". I'm like, what the heck are you talking about?! Give this girl a call! He was adamant that you can't "just call up girls anymore, Dad, they have to like you on social media first". It's stupid.

My 13-year-old daughter chimed in and said the same thing. Social media has ruined these kids. The craziest thing is, my son showed me a picture of the group that he went out to dinner with for homecoming, and it was six boys, and like 15 girls! Only six of the girls had dates because no other boys would ask these girls out so they just all went out together. I was beside myself, and I told him that any one of those girls would have jumped at a chance to go out with a boy. You just have to ask them. He called me a boomer and said it's not as easy as it was back in the 90's to date girls. I mean, you would think that athletes would have an upper hand in the dating game, but my son tells me that a lot of girls want guys that look like that "Timothee Chamalet" dude. I don't get it.

---

So funny you should talk about the like on social media thing.

My daughter is 38, has a 19 month old baby boy and has been in the process of getting a divorce from a former Aggie athlete for almost a year. Her entire social media is her and her son. She has a degree from Texas A &M. She was very popular in high school and college. She is currently working to get into sonography school. She has no desire to date anyone and wants to be able to support herself and her son.

She was recently followed by several current Aggie athletes . She said , what are these guys thinking? She is obviously at least 15 years older.

---

Basic question: She is 38, why is she posting photos of herself and her child on public social media? One needs to answer that to oneself honestly.

In my view, the only reason women do it is for the ego boost it gives. Most women can post any average pic and get many likes and "hey hottie!" type replies, many from their own girlfriends. Some women probably like the creedy stalker type responses and "people sliding into DMs". If that is the real reason, it is best to stay away and focus on ones own life.

I forbid my teen daughter from posting pics of herself on social media. No good can come out of it esp with Gen AI and people taking those pics and turning it into nood pics or pr0n videos.

Join a rodeo committee. Tons of 20s singles.

Bobaloo said:

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Wish I was 20 again....Sounds like some fertile hunting grounds.

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No kidding. Fish in a barrel.

titan said:

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American Hardwood said:

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On the surface, it does look like the damage to social skills is apocalyptic. Technology is a new factor that will destroy human interaction and procreation.

But, I think a broader view of this is just Darwinism in action. Those that are susceptible to poor social skills and addictions to technology will die off as an inferior specimen to make those that CAN surpass the technological boundaries survive.

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This is also true. But would remind, that also goes for systems. Maybe the Darwinism will remove the present social order and how things are done. Always in flux the future on this kind of thing. Even arranged datings and chaperoning may make a come-back. It become less a all is on one's own social skills, and more a concern of the society. I am seeing it already in the rise of the Trads about getting away from the sexual revolution's pre-suppositions.

---

I could live with Darwinism if there were a positive correlation between reproductive success and being a decent human being. But looking at the kind of people who have 10 children (usually with differently partners), the trend seems to be in the opposite, Idiocracy-bound direction.

And I do think that arranged marriages would be an improvement over the current "system".

infinity ag said:

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2aggiesmom said:

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Shumba said:

---

I've got a 16-year-old son, varsity football player, and his first date was this year's homecoming game with a girl from the dance squad that his buddy set him up with. I asked him if he called her to chat her up and he was like, "No, she hasn't liked me on Instagram yet". I'm like, what the heck are you talking about?! Give this girl a call! He was adamant that you can't "just call up girls anymore, Dad, they have to like you on social media first". It's stupid.

My 13-year-old daughter chimed in and said the same thing. Social media has ruined these kids. The craziest thing is, my son showed me a picture of the group that he went out to dinner with for homecoming, and it was six boys, and like 15 girls! Only six of the girls had dates because no other boys would ask these girls out so they just all went out together. I was beside myself, and I told him that any one of those girls would have jumped at a chance to go out with a boy. You just have to ask them. He called me a boomer and said it's not as easy as it was back in the 90's to date girls. I mean, you would think that athletes would have an upper hand in the dating game, but my son tells me that a lot of girls want guys that look like that "Timothee Chamalet" dude. I don't get it.

---

So funny you should talk about the like on social media thing.

My daughter is 38, has a 19 month old baby boy and has been in the process of getting a divorce from a former Aggie athlete for almost a year. Her entire social media is her and her son. She has a degree from Texas A &M. She was very popular in high school and college. She is currently working to get into sonography school. She has no desire to date anyone and wants to be able to support herself and her son.

She was recently followed by several current Aggie athletes . She said , what are these guys thinking? She is obviously at least 15 years older.

---

Basic question: She is 38, why is she posting photos of herself and her child on public social media? One needs to answer that to oneself honestly.

In my view, the only reason women do it is for the ego boost it gives. Most women can post any average pic and get many likes and "hey hottie!" type replies, many from their own girlfriends. Some women probably like the creedy stalker type responses and "people sliding into DMs". If that is the real reason, it is best to stay away and focus on ones own life.

I forbid my teen daughter from posting pics of herself on social media. No good can come out of it esp with Gen AI and people taking those pics and turning it into nood pics or pr0n videos.

---

To be honest 99% of her photos are only of her very beautiful son, but sometimes she is with him in a picture taken by a friend. She has a great support group of married friends her age with children very close in age to her son. Like I said, she is not interested in dating and her sole focus is on getting a good job and taking care of her son.

EclipseAg said:

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I definitely saw the "lack of dating" trend among my now-adult children.

At the same time, most of the young adults I know -- family, friends of my kids, kids of my friends -- are married now. One of my kids has been in something like 10 weddings!

So despite all the negative information out there, there are plenty of young people still getting married and having children.

---

That's because they aren't dating. They are settling with the first one that comes along. Only some of them are having kids and I bet most don't have more then 1 or 2.

Logos Stick said:

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That's because females would reject them like they do online. 70% of females are hooking up with the top 10% male Chads. Females are all about hypergamy.

---

This is the truth.

All these young ladies think they deserve a rich attractive woman, because it is easy to get dates with them.

Eventually, they discover that these guys are just going around grabbing all these chicks by the kitty cat and leaving, with not even a thought of eventual commitment.

If these lonely basement dwellers can get a decent job and be ok for instant babies after they start dating, there are plenty of 35 year old women happy to date 25 year old men with financial promise and a willingness to commit to answer the call of that baby factory timer.

One of the funny things about online dating is that 35 year old men typically date 25 year old women, and 35 year old women typically date 25 year old men.

infinity ag said:

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2aggiesmom said:

---

Shumba said:

---

I've got a 16-year-old son, varsity football player, and his first date was this year's homecoming game with a girl from the dance squad that his buddy set him up with. I asked him if he called her to chat her up and he was like, "No, she hasn't liked me on Instagram yet". I'm like, what the heck are you talking about?! Give this girl a call! He was adamant that you can't "just call up girls anymore, Dad, they have to like you on social media first". It's stupid.

My 13-year-old daughter chimed in and said the same thing. Social media has ruined these kids. The craziest thing is, my son showed me a picture of the group that he went out to dinner with for homecoming, and it was six boys, and like 15 girls! Only six of the girls had dates because no other boys would ask these girls out so they just all went out together. I was beside myself, and I told him that any one of those girls would have jumped at a chance to go out with a boy. You just have to ask them. He called me a boomer and said it's not as easy as it was back in the 90's to date girls. I mean, you would think that athletes would have an upper hand in the dating game, but my son tells me that a lot of girls want guys that look like that "Timothee Chamalet" dude. I don't get it.

---

So funny you should talk about the like on social media thing.

My daughter is 38, has a 19 month old baby boy and has been in the process of getting a divorce from a former Aggie athlete for almost a year. Her entire social media is her and her son. She has a degree from Texas A &M. She was very popular in high school and college. She is currently working to get into sonography school. She has no desire to date anyone and wants to be able to support herself and her son.

She was recently followed by several current Aggie athletes . She said , what are these guys thinking? She is obviously at least 15 years older.

---

Basic question: She is 38, why is she posting photos of herself and her child on public social media? One needs to answer that to oneself honestly.

In my view, the only reason women do it is for the ego boost it gives. Most women can post any average pic and get many likes and "hey hottie!" type replies, many from their own girlfriends. Some women probably like the creedy stalker type responses and "people sliding into DMs". If that is the real reason, it is best to stay away and focus on ones own life.

I forbid my teen daughter from posting pics of herself on social media. No good can come out of it esp with Gen AI and people taking those pics and turning it into nood pics or pr0n videos.

---

I think a typical middle-aged, slightly overweight woman could post pictures of herself in a burlap sack, and the online pervs would still flood her with dick-pics.

2aggiesmom said:

---

infinity ag said:

---

2aggiesmom said:

---

Shumba said:

---

I've got a 16-year-old son, varsity football player, and his first date was this year's homecoming game with a girl from the dance squad that his buddy set him up with. I asked him if he called her to chat her up and he was like, "No, she hasn't liked me on Instagram yet". I'm like, what the heck are you talking about?! Give this girl a call! He was adamant that you can't "just call up girls anymore, Dad, they have to like you on social media first". It's stupid.

My 13-year-old daughter chimed in and said the same thing. Social media has ruined these kids. The craziest thing is, my son showed me a picture of the group that he went out to dinner with for homecoming, and it was six boys, and like 15 girls! Only six of the girls had dates because no other boys would ask these girls out so they just all went out together. I was beside myself, and I told him that any one of those girls would have jumped at a chance to go out with a boy. You just have to ask them. He called me a boomer and said it's not as easy as it was back in the 90's to date girls. I mean, you would think that athletes would have an upper hand in the dating game, but my son tells me that a lot of girls want guys that look like that "Timothee Chamalet" dude. I don't get it.

---

So funny you should talk about the like on social media thing.

My daughter is 38, has a 19 month old baby boy and has been in the process of getting a divorce from a former Aggie athlete for almost a year. Her entire social media is her and her son. She has a degree from Texas A &M. She was very popular in high school and college. She is currently working to get into sonography school. She has no desire to date anyone and wants to be able to support herself and her son.

She was recently followed by several current Aggie athletes . She said , what are these guys thinking? She is obviously at least 15 years older.

---

Basic question: She is 38, why is she posting photos of herself and her child on public social media? One needs to answer that to oneself honestly.

In my view, the only reason women do it is for the ego boost it gives. Most women can post any average pic and get many likes and "hey hottie!" type replies, many from their own girlfriends. Some women probably like the creedy stalker type responses and "people sliding into DMs". If that is the real reason, it is best to stay away and focus on ones own life.

I forbid my teen daughter from posting pics of herself on social media. No good can come out of it esp with Gen AI and people taking those pics and turning it into nood pics or pr0n videos.

---

To be honest 99% of her photos are only of her very beautiful son, but sometimes she is with him in a picture taken by a friend. She has a great support group of married friends her age with children very close in age to her son. Like I said, she is not interested in dating and her sole focus is on getting a good job and taking care of her son.

---

Good to hear! I wish her and you the very best!

Logos Stick said:

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That's because females would reject them like they do online. 70% of females are hooking up with the top 10% male Chads. Females are all about hypergamy.

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And I'm sure that you always went up to ugly women. Are you surprised that women want to be with guys that are good looking or attractive and can actually speak to them?

annie88 said:

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Logos Stick said:

---

That's because females would reject them like they do online. 70% of females are hooking up with the top 10% male Chads. Females are all about hypergamy.

---

And I'm sure that you always went up to ugly women. Are you surprised that women want to be with guys that are good looking or attractive and can actually speak to them?

---

Studies show that women rate men much more harshly. Average rating for men being in the 3-4 range. While men rate women on average a 5-6. So there's that.

annie88 said:

---

Logos Stick said:

---

That's because females would reject them like they do online. 70% of females are hooking up with the top 10% male Chads. Females are all about hypergamy.

---

And I'm sure that you always went up to ugly women. Are you surprised that women want to be with guys that are good looking or attractive and can actually speak to them?

---

Good looking AND smart?

There are so few of us.

I'm 36 but I would still call girls in my 20s.

I wouldn't get an answer and the girl would text back saying , "Hey I saw you called. What's up"

Or they would say "I prefer texting."

Sure - maybe they just weren't that into me but girls are also afraid of phone calls as well because it catches them unprepared on the phone. I'm in a relationship now so calling isn't an issue but the risk to call may be deemed creepy.l in the early stages.

ntxVol said:

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annie88 said:

---

Logos Stick said:

---

That's because females would reject them like they do online. 70% of females are hooking up with the top 10% male Chads. Females are all about hypergamy.

---

And I'm sure that you always went up to ugly women. Are you surprised that women want to be with guys that are good looking or attractive and can actually speak to them?

---

Studies show that women rate men much more harshly. Average rating for men being in the 3-4 range. While men rate women on average a 5-6. So there's that.

---

I think the top attributes for women is money and height. They don't care about "looks" as much as men do.

Logos Stick said:

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That's because females would reject them like they do online. 70% of females are hooking up are being run through by the top 10% male Chads. Then Age 30 rolls around and they want to settle down with a boring good guy and start a family. Females are all about hypergamy.

---

You are 100% right about hypergamy !!!!

My son is going to grow up watching Andrew Tate, rofl.

EX TEXASEX said:

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Logos Stick said:

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That's because females would reject them like they do online. 70% of females are hooking up are being run through by the top 10% male Chads. Then Age 30 rolls around and they want to settle down with a boring good guy and start a family. Females are all about hypergamy.

---

You are 100% right about hypergamy !!!!

---

These days I'd bump that to 40. Because women in their 30s are still getting lots of online interest from guys in their 20s. Albeit, much of the time, it's for one night stands and FWBs but it skews realistic expectations for actual prospects for a healthy long term relationship within the dating pool.

annie88 said:

---

Logos Stick said:

---

That's because females would reject them like they do online. 70% of females are hooking up with the top 10% male Chads. Females are all about hypergamy.

---

And I'm sure that you always went up to ugly women. Are you surprised that women want to be with guys that are good looking or attractive and can actually speak to them?

---

The point is that today's females are completely deluded. Chad is nailing everything that walks - hint: men are like that - with no intention of making a life with any of them. Those females are then rejecting males at their level which explains the OP.

Rossticus said:

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EX TEXASEX said:

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Logos Stick said:

---

That's because females would reject them like they do online. 70% of females are hooking up are being run through by the top 10% male Chads. Then Age 30 rolls around and they want to settle down with a boring good guy and start a family. Females are all about hypergamy.

---

You are 100% right about hypergamy !!!!

---

These days I'd bump that to 40. Because women in their 30s are still getting lots of online interest from guys in their 20s. Albeit, much of the time, it's for one night stands and FWBs but it skews realistic expectations for actual prospects for a healthy long term relationship within the dating pool.

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I'm not even sure about 40s anymore.