"Girls Who Code" Founder Now Worries about Boys

10,487 Views | 112 Replies | Last: 9 mo ago by Definitely Not A Cop
infinity ag
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The summary is that Reshma Saujani founded Girls Who Code and was probably one of those women who pushes for women at the cost of men. Until she had sons. Now she worries about men.

Why is society leaving men out? I see so many programs to help women, but none to help men. I have a son and a daughter and I am worried for my son. Men are still valued in society for their income and job title. Women are not. Society is actively trying to undermine men. Women find it much easier to become VPs in companies, I have seen this myself.

Is it because the people in control are also simps?

I Founded Girls Who Code. Now I'm Worried About Boys
https://time.com/7286184/worried-about-boys/

Quote:

A few years ago, I gave what I thought was the perfect commencement speech at a women's college. It was my feminist manifesto. The ultimate mic drop after years of fighting for gender equality as founder and CEO of Girls Who Code. I walked off the stage feeling electric.
My two little boys ran up to me, gave me a hug, and then, my oldest son Shaan pulled me aside.
He asked, "Mommy, why do you always talk about girls? How come you never talk about boys?"

At the time, I totally dismissed him. I thought, He's little. He doesn't get it.

But now, as diversity pipeline programs like the one I've spent my career building are systematically dismantled and women's fundamental rights are rolled back to chants of "your body, my choice," all by and in the name of men, I see that I was the one who didn't get it.

I spent years teaching girls to be brave, not perfect. But I barely considered how we need to teach boys to be soft, not just stoic. To connect, not control. To imagine a version of manhood where strength requires empathy, vulnerability, and care.

While we were pushing our girls forward, we were leaving our boys behind
. And now, they're struggling.

Boys and men are less likely to turn to their communities for social connection and support. Less likely to go to college. More likely to die by suicide or overdose. Too often, instead of being met with care, they've been manipulated and handed division. Not just by podcast bros, but by a government that's actively stoking the divide for their own political gain.

The biggest problem we face right now isn't just climate, healthcare, or AI ethicsit's disconnection. Disconnection across gender, race, class, even reality itself. And that disconnection is blocking progress on every issue we care about.

We've all been sold a con: that progress is a zero-sum game. That when women rise, men must fall. That when someone new gets a seat at the table, yours disappears. And we're so intentionally divided we can't see we're all losing in this game.

Disconnection isn't just a consequence, it may also be the goal. Because powerful men from Silicon Valley to Pennsylvania Avenue know that if we don't see each other, we won't stand up for each other. If we're too busy blaming each other, we'll never imagine what we could build together.

And while we've been distracted, our boys have been searching for connection and finding it in the worst places. Small men with loud voices who hold court over internet echo chambers, like Andrew Tate, offer them simplistic answers for all of their complicated fears and insecurities. Man up. Toughen up. Win at all costs. And those answers are harming boys and men. We failed to offer them belonging, so they're grappling for control.

The question we've avoided for too long is: What conversations should we be having with our boys?
The issue at hand won't be solved with better messaging, another podcast, or a new influencer to follow. We are not going to out-algorithm the "manosphere." We need a deeper response. A braver one.
Yes, we need structural change. We need schools that teach emotional literacy alongside academics. We need public investment in youth mental health. We need a "Men Who Nurse" and a "Guys Who Teach," pipeline programs that can offer boys real pathways forward in fields that desperately need them. And we need to build social media platforms and governmental policies that aren't driven by isolation and outrage.

But most of all, we need connection. Especially at home. Because no policy can replace what happens across a dinner table or on the walk home from school. We need to start asking our boys better questions. How are you feeling? What's been hard for you? Who do you trust? What scares you?
And when they struggle to answer, we can't shut down. We need to help boys and men build the language necessary for them to live full, happy lives. We need to show them that we, too, can change and grow. That means moms showing that care and empathy are signs of courage. And it means dads, especially, stepping in with presence and vulnerability to say, "I love you. I'm proud of you. I cry too."
And we need to tell our boys that the loudest voices with the simplest answers are often the most dangerous. Instead, real power listens, real might is judicious, and real leadership invites doubt. Often, real bravery sounds like, "I don't know, but let's figure it out together."

The story we've told our boys that power is a pie, and we have to fight for slicesis a lie that has broken their ability to connect with others and with themselves.

Let's be clear: this isn't about ignoring girls, or pretending their fight is finished. It's about building a future big enough for both to thrive because opportunity is not zero-sum, progress is not zero-sum, and empathy is not zero-sum.
Boys today don't need perfect parents, perfect systems, or perfect answers. They just need people willing to listen to them and who choose to care about them, even when it's complicated


Grok's summary

Quote:

Summary of "I Founded Girls Who Code. Now I'm Worried About Boys" by Reshma Saujani (Time, May 19, 2025)
Reshma Saujani, founder of Girls Who Code, reflects on her past focus on empowering girls and her growing concern for boys, prompted by her son's question about why she emphasizes girls over boys. She acknowledges that while advocating for gender equality, she overlooked the struggles of boys and men, who face increasing disconnection, lower college enrollment, and higher rates of suicide and overdose. Saujani argues that societal narratives framing progress as a zero-sum gamewhere women's gains mean men's lossesfuel division and harm both genders.
Boys, she notes, are vulnerable to toxic influences like Andrew Tate, who exploit their insecurities with simplistic, harmful ideals of masculinity. Saujani calls for a deeper response beyond better messaging, advocating for structural changes like emotional literacy in schools, mental health investment, and pipeline programs for boys in fields like nursing and teaching. Most critically, she emphasizes fostering connection at home through open, empathetic conversations with boys about their feelings and fears.
She challenges the notion that power is limited, urging parentsespecially fathersto model vulnerability and care, and to teach boys that real strength lies in empathy, listening, and collaboration. Saujani stresses that supporting boys doesn't diminish girls' progress but builds a future where both can thrive, as empathy and opportunity are not zero-sum.


samurai_science
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She sounds dumb and still doesn't understand what males need
Funky Winkerbean
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samurai_science said:

She sounds dumb and still doesn't understand what males need


Very
Maroon Dawn
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Women disproportionately vote Democrat

That's why there is such a huge push to have them put into every major position of leadership and censorship
McNasty
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Thanks for sharing. A step in the right direction, but still clinging to the boogeyman of "toxic masculinity".

Oh, and things like college admissions are a zero sum game when you have limited enrollment and deviate from a meritocracy.
Ghost of Andrew Eaton
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Life experiences teach us lessons and usually make us better people, in my opinion. Good for her and hopefully she can improve the world.
BigRobSA
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"Woman does something stupid. News at 11."







Funky Winkerbean
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She hasn't learned she's discriminating against men.
BigRobSA
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Ghost of Andrew Eaton said:

Life experiences teach us lessons and usually make us better people, in my opinion. Good for her and hopefully she can improve the world.
a GHOST....talmbout "life"!?
TacosaurusRex
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Talk about the perfect democrat. Knows there is a problem, identified the problem, and then did every action to make it worse.
rocky the dog
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Elections are when people find out what politicians stand for, and politicians find out what people will fall for.
AgBQ-00
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So her answer to the issue is we need to make men more like women. Typical liberal who can't understand why their rhetoric falls on deaf ears and harms everything they put their mind to.
You do not have a soul. You are a soul that has a body.

We sing Hallelujah! The Lamb has overcome!
BonfireNerd04
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I'm a software developer. Our industry is still very much male-dominated.

That's not a bad thing, any more than it's a bad thing that most elementary school teachers are women.
aggie93
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AgBQ-00 said:

So her answer to the issue is we need to make men more like women. Typical liberal who can't understand why their rhetoric falls on deaf ears and harms everything they put their mind to.
This. Men don't want to be like women and they will never be successful being like women outside of a small minority. You can't get men to want to be nurses and want to be elementary school teachers and social workers at the same rate as women. You can't get men to want to cry and embrace their emotional vulnerability.

Why? Not only do men not want to do those things but more importantly WOMEN DON'T WANT MEN LIKE THAT. Women don't want to marry a guy who acts like a woman. They want a strong partner that can protect and provide and be their emotional rock.

She identified the problem but has no clue about the solution. Notice as well that nowhere in her solution does she require women to do anything of course. She certainly doesn't say that women need to care about men or embrace them acting in feminine ways or be attracted to them. She thinks women should be able to take over male spaces and be advantaged over men. She has zero recognition that masculinity has value and purpose and how it benefits women as well. She also has no recognition of the negative consequences of feminism that has pushed women to be entitled and act like victims while moving away from actual femininity and valuing being a wife and mother.

No, her only solution is that men are still the problem of course and she thinks they need to act like women more.
"The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help."

Ronald Reagan
lb3
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samurai_science said:

She sounds dumb and still doesn't understand what males need
Exactly, She's trying to fit men into a female construct. Men don't need connection, men need a purpose. Men need to provide and protect, to be leaders of other men, and to a lesser extent, to build things.
rocky the dog
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Quote:

Exactly, She's trying to fit men into a female construct. Men don't need connection, men need a purpose. Men need to provide and protect, to be leaders of other men, and to a lesser extent, to build things.



Quote:

Exactly, She's trying to fit men into a female construct. Men don't need connection, men need a purpose. Men need to provide and protect, to be leaders of other men, and to a lesser extent, to build things.

Elections are when people find out what politicians stand for, and politicians find out what people will fall for.
Get Off My Lawn
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McNasty said:

Thanks for sharing. A step in the right direction, but still clinging to the boogeyman of "toxic masculinity".

Oh, and things like college admissions are a zero sum game when you have limited enrollment and deviate from a meritocracy.
"I want women to get ahead, and now boys too!"

An idiot's take. Or a feminists. But I repeat myself.

She's defined "positive masculinity" using the traits of femininity - which proves she still doesn't get it and likely never will. She doesn't actually want to give masculinity an opportunity to thrive: she just wants to extend the feminist caste protections to select emasculated "male-feminists" as well.
BadMoonRisin
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Christina Hoff Summers beat her to the punch by a decade with her book The War Against Boys.

It's similar to how, like the Gae Rights movement, they had no victory condition that would satisfy them.

Being under represented in college, board rooms, high paying jobs was a problem to be fixed, but they couldn't stop their crusade when women became over represented. Same with DEI, same with pretty much every pet project of the left. They cant stop themselves when things are more or less equal and their excuses as to why is "well now that they are overrepresented, it's fine because men had a 100 year head start" or some such nonsense.
Waffledynamics
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She correctly identifies the existence of a problem, and then she completely misses the point by at least 5 miles.
Waffledynamics
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Get Off My Lawn said:

McNasty said:

Thanks for sharing. A step in the right direction, but still clinging to the boogeyman of "toxic masculinity".

Oh, and things like college admissions are a zero sum game when you have limited enrollment and deviate from a meritocracy.
"I want women to get ahead, and now boys too!"

An idiot's take. Or a feminists. But I repeat myself.

She's defined "positive masculinity" using the traits of femininity - which proves she still doesn't get it and likely never will. She doesn't actually want to give masculinity an opportunity to thrive: she just wants to extend the feminist caste protections to select emasculated "male-feminists" as well.


This is the best summary I've heard of how feminists "advocate" for men. She doesn't get it because she can't get it. Her ideology requires the dismantling of everything that men by and large like and want. It's not compatible.
Sweep4-2
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Not sure I agree completely re connection. Men are becoming more and more isolated at a younger age than ever before. And the outcome isn't good. I don't think having friendship, seeking help, helping others, etc makes them a weak person. And I've told friends that.

But then again, I live the exact opposite life….never seek help for anything, purposely avoid church and mimimize friendship if at all possible, etc. Basically, I still believe nobody likes a weak person and only weak people ask for help.
Consistency: It's only a virtue if you're not a screw-up.
infinity ag
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aggie93 said:

AgBQ-00 said:

So her answer to the issue is we need to make men more like women. Typical liberal who can't understand why their rhetoric falls on deaf ears and harms everything they put their mind to.
This. Men don't want to be like women and they will never be successful being like women outside of a small minority. You can't get men to want to be nurses and want to be elementary school teachers and social workers at the same rate as women. You can't get men to want to cry and embrace their emotional vulnerability.

Why? Not only do men not want to do those things but more importantly WOMEN DON'T WANT MEN LIKE THAT. Women don't want to marry a guy who acts like a woman. They want a strong partner that can protect and provide and be their emotional rock.

She identified the problem but has no clue about the solution. Notice as well that nowhere in her solution does she require women to do anything of course. She certainly doesn't say that women need to care about men or embrace them acting in feminine ways or be attracted to them. She thinks women should be able to take over male spaces and be advantaged over men. She has zero recognition that masculinity has value and purpose and how it benefits women as well. She also has no recognition of the negative consequences of feminism that has pushed women to be entitled and act like victims while moving away from actual femininity and valuing being a wife and mother.

No, her only solution is that men are still the problem of course and she thinks they need to act like women more.

If she is honest and says what women should do, she will get "canceled" and pilloried for pandering to the patriarchy. So she dances around it. She was arrogantly pushing all things woman but now that she has sons, she wants a piece of the pie for her sons too. Selfish and self-centered. She is passing it off as "just because men deserve more doesn't mean we give women any less".
infinity ag
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lb3 said:

samurai_science said:

She sounds dumb and still doesn't understand what males need
Exactly, She's trying to fit men into a female construct. Men don't need connection, men need a purpose. Men need to provide and protect, to be leaders of other men, and to a lesser extent, to build things.

Today's society is stealing all opportunities from men to be leaders. We cannot go into the forest and hunt anymore like men used to 1000+ years ago. We do it at school and at work. DEI has taken that away from men and given it to undeserving women.
lb3
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Sweep4-2 said:

Not sure I agree completely re connection. Men are becoming more and more isolated at a younger age than ever before. And the outcome isn't good. I don't think having friendship, seeking help, helping others, etc makes them a weak person. And I've told friends that.

But then again, I live the exact opposite life….never seek help for anything, purposely avoid church and mimimize friendship if at all possible, etc. Basically, I still believe nobody likes a weak person and only weak people ask for help.
Connection with others is a byproduct of having a purpose, a goal, or a team. Connection itself is a byproduct not the end state.
Squadron7
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80% of the people working in public schools now regard boys as defective girls.
infinity ag
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BadMoonRisin said:

Christina Hoff Summers beat her to the punch by a decade with her book The War Against Boys.

It's similar to how, like the Gae Rights movement, they had no victory condition that would satisfy them.

Being under represented in college, board rooms, high paying jobs was a problem to be fixed, but they couldn't stop their crusade when women became over represented. Same with DEI, same with pretty much every pet project of the left. They cant stop themselves when things are more or less equal and their excuses as to why is "well now that they are overrepresented, it's fine because men had a 100 year head start" or some such nonsense.


This.

That is the trick of the groups that constantly whine for more. They never have a satisfaction criteria. And simps are forced to keep giving.
TarponChaser
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Quote:

...women's fundamental rights are rolled back...

What fundamental rights of women are being rolled back?

Abortion?? It's still mostly legal and accessible. Regardless of one's personal views on the matter it's still unavoidably true that a woman's right to abortion is in conflict with the right of her unborn child to live. That conflict precludes abortion from being a fundamental right. A fundamental right is one which is universal to all human beings not one which exists based on sex.
No Spin Ag
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rocky the dog said:




Plus Juan.
TarponChaser
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Quote:

...a version of manhood where strength requires empathy, vulnerability, and care.

That's always existed. It's called being a husband and father.

In a healthy marriage a man should be able to be vulnerable with his wife and she supports him. He's empathetic and caring for his children too. But taking care of his family require strength.

These are not all or nothing propositions either and require nuance depending on circumstances but the fact of the matter is that the H.L. Mencken quote, "Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats" is an effective summation of manhood. Usually it's metaphorical but not always.
Sweep4-2
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Got it, I appreciate the clarification/definition. Honestly hadn't thought of it that way and am glad you mentioned it but it makes sense.
Consistency: It's only a virtue if you're not a screw-up.
Sweep4-2
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lol, I have always promised myself never to be vulnerable to my wife. I complain about enough stuff without burdening her with real stuff.

That's why I choke people and try to break bones (Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu) and run ultra-marathons. It helps me keep vulnerability suppressed.
Consistency: It's only a virtue if you're not a screw-up.
Logos Stick
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Hilarious!!!!!






rocky the dog said:

Quote:

Exactly, She's trying to fit men into a female construct. Men don't need connection, men need a purpose. Men need to provide and protect, to be leaders of other men, and to a lesser extent, to build things.



Quote:

Exactly, She's trying to fit men into a female construct. Men don't need connection, men need a purpose. Men need to provide and protect, to be leaders of other men, and to a lesser extent, to build things.







Logos Stick
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I'm glad to see someone else uses GROK instead of ChatGPT. Elon deserves the love.
Phatbob
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Software will always be dominated by men as it is founded on logic.
infinity ag
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Phatbob said:

Software will always be dominated by men as it is founded on logic.


Love this.
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