Are you selfish? Stingy? Hate bringing your own beer to a party only for others to drink it all? Bud Light, it's the beer for you.

Need to involve a mechanic elbow deep in a transmission.

Get Off My Lawn said:

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Basic thought experiment.

If you were in position to pitch a commercial/public message to AB's leadership which was supposed to break the boycott and restore consumption: what would it say and what impact(s) would you expect it to have?

If it involves spurning DEI, ESG, and WEF/NWO - how do you sell the C-Suite that it's worth opening AB to the commie's wrath?

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It would involve DJT and DJT jr. talking about how they get chicks while sitting poolside and Van Halen playing in the back ground.

Noble? Brave?

End of a looong day, NYC. Deliberate beer choice. pic.twitter.com/Vtde3alE4H

— Michael Smerconish (@smerconish) April 27, 2023

AgBQ-00 said:

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Need to involve a mechanic elbow deep in a transmission.

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I like it.
Setting: a garage shop on the Clydesdale farm.
20 sec of a man's-man wenching in jeans and a stained undershirt on a classic work truck. You see a defunct transmission get cast aside. The screen blacks out to some text about "Please bare with us as we work to repair this mess." followed by a lineup of executives with "FIRED" stamped across them…

Not sure what the impact would be but it'd be pretty sweet.

Sincere apology by CEO. Firing of marketing team responsible. Start a foundation that raises awareness around dangers of trans surgeries, suicide rates, etc.

They aren't ever going to admit the screwed up. If anything the corporate world is doubling down. Maybelline cosmetics just made the very same dude a paid spokesperson. A trans dude is the new face of Maybelline. A company that must surely get 99.5% of sales from women is paying a man to go "womenface" for their brand. Let that roll around in your head for a moment. Companies clearly don't care about profits anymore or they aren't worried about boycotts having any lasting impact.

Nattie said:

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This is easy. Go back to the basics. Girls, girls, girls...

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"And… and TWINS!"

Urban Ag said:

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Money whip Tom Brady in to being the new face of the product.

Film ad with Brady walking around his pool flanked by two super models drinking a BL longneck. Have about a dozen more smokin hotties playing in the pool and laying out around it.

Brady's lines:
I'm Tom Brady. And I enjoy having a few Bud Lights while hanging out with my friends

I'm the GOAT. You know it. I know it, And Bud Lights was the GOAT. But some idiot they hired in New York managed to piss off their entire customer base. And that's why I'm here.

So Bud Light is paying me a ridiculously YUGE amount of money to convince you that they've seen the era of their ways. We're getting back to what made this brand what it is. Football. Pool parties, real, beautiful, women in bikinis. Horses, cowboys, fireworks, manly footwear, and over the top patriotism

So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, try to forget about the twink in the tub, and let us take it from here

/camera pans over to the pool bar being tended by a smiling Sam Elliot with Rachel Hunter and Kathy Ireland each holding a longneck and proclaiming "it's good to be back" as F22's fly over in the background and Spuds chases a football Brady tosses to him. Commercials closes as camera pans back over the Elliot who tips his longneck and says "stay fratty my friends".

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OK that might ring the bell.

More than anything, I just can't drink it anymore because I can't look at the can the same without seeing that face

Whazzup?

We ****ed up.

Yeahhhhhh.

Yeahhhhh.

Fade to black with We're idiots, come back in white text.

Or Get a cute little Clydesdale foal and instead of trying to pull the wagon, have it bust through the trans can graphics, have all the Clydesdales trample over it behind the foal and then have a farmer looking at them, shaking his head and saying " finally, some horse sense."

Fade to black with we screwed up.

Why should i care either way?

We are sorry we hired idiots for our marketing staff.
We have lined them up against a wall and gave them a good talking to.

"Sorry for telling our customers you are all ignorant bigots who can **** right off. We promise to never, ever do it again and have terminated our sponsorship activities related to the GLBTQ+Furry political movement as a gesture of our goodwill."

Quote:

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Noble? Brave?

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Sparkle farter

AggieVictor10 said:

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Why should i care either way?

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No one asked if you cared, people are just having fun.

Drove up to my local "Pak"age store and saw the owner, MK, standing on top of a 100 foot stack of Bud Light containers. He had a telescope and was jumping up and down excitedly.

When I asked him what he was so excited about, he replied, "I can see the stack from my other store across town."

Closeup of a referee's face blowing a whistle.
Ref speaking into his mic "Illegal Substitution (ref makes a queer gesture) ,5 Billion dollar Penalty. 2nd Down.
Anheiser Bush has called a Timeout"

(AC/DC Back in Black kicks on)
Camera zooms out quickly to show a wide shot of an entire football field with a black Bud light logo on the 50 yard line
Crowd shots of Fans going crazy. HOT female cheerleaders perform on the sidelines.
On the big screen, old Budlight commercials
are shown in a montage.
Then the Music drops down low and
Camera shows an Outside shot of the Clydesdale horses snorting with the stadium in background under moonlike. Then Camera pans over from the Clydesdale's over to a Spuds McKinzie looking dog, pacing thru cars untill it stops at one covered in woke bumper stickers.
It lifts a leg and pees on the tire.

Music picks back . Camera now back in stands, shows a fan holding a Bud Light with a new black label.
He takes a sip, looks at the camera and smiles.

Talledega Nights 2

Down and out Ricky Bobby makes a comeback driving a Dale Earnhardt 03 car in Bud Light livery.

How about the "boy and girl frolicking in the mud at a county fair with Zac brown playing in the background" they just played during the draft?

They have that one on repeat. **** 'em, they made their bed now they have to lay in it.

Daddy-O5 said:

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How about the "boy and girl frolicking in the mud at a county fair with Zac brown playing in the background" they just played during the draft?

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Just saw that and I laughed. That's 180 degrees from how the leave-of-absence VP wanted to grow the brand

AggieVictor10 said:

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Why should i care either way?

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because you obviously did enough to write a dumb response

Bud Light "We like to party! Do you?"

It's literally all they ever had to say!