*****Official Funny Political Tweet Thread*****
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Last: 38 min ago by fc2112
oh no said:
Few things make me chortle out loud. This did.
But, but... doesn't moving into the Speaker's office automatically make you the Speaker?oh no said:
— Clown World ™ 🤡 (@ClownWorld_) January 5, 2023
— The Right To Bear Memes (@grandoldmemes) January 4, 2023
Asgardian Immigrant Only One Found Worthy Of Wielding Congressional Gavel https://t.co/7MqQ5MTkW9
— The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) January 5, 2023
If you think I am a liberal, you are incorrect. Assume sarcasm on my part. Sorry if something I post has already been posted. Just the way it is!!
Clowns Debate Who Will Be Elected Next King Of The Clowns
WASHINGTON, D.C. According to reports, a group of clowns has gathered at the Capitol Building to debate over who should be the next king over all the clowns.
"Ok guys, quit clowning around!" said Clown Dan Crenshaw as he attempted to calm down the other clowns. "It's time to get down to clown business and figure out which clown should be Top Clown! Stop laughing guys, this is serious!"
Crenshaw then "honked" a giant red nose on his face and made a sad face.
Bob Latta, the honorable clown from the state of Ohio, concurred. "Kevin McCarthy is the right clown to be king of us clowns," he said. "Let's meet the clown challenges we were elected to tackle and get this clownery done for the United States of America." Latta then dove off a tall diving board into a tiny pool.
At publishing time, voting was further delayed after a clown brawl broke out.
Courtesy of The Babylon Bee
WASHINGTON, D.C. According to reports, a group of clowns has gathered at the Capitol Building to debate over who should be the next king over all the clowns.
"Ok guys, quit clowning around!" said Clown Dan Crenshaw as he attempted to calm down the other clowns. "It's time to get down to clown business and figure out which clown should be Top Clown! Stop laughing guys, this is serious!"
Crenshaw then "honked" a giant red nose on his face and made a sad face.
Bob Latta, the honorable clown from the state of Ohio, concurred. "Kevin McCarthy is the right clown to be king of us clowns," he said. "Let's meet the clown challenges we were elected to tackle and get this clownery done for the United States of America." Latta then dove off a tall diving board into a tiny pool.
At publishing time, voting was further delayed after a clown brawl broke out.
Courtesy of The Babylon Bee
"Joe Biden has spent 282 days – 40% of his presidency – on vacation." https://t.co/kFtg4Xs5uK
— Not the Bee (@Not_the_Bee) January 5, 2023
It's not that funny, is it?
If you think I am a liberal, you are incorrect. Assume sarcasm on my part. Sorry if something I post has already been posted. Just the way it is!!
In Overnight Vote, Buffalo Guy Elected Speaker Of The House
WASHINGTON, D.C. In a shocking overnight vote held by the House of Representatives, the QAnon Shaman, aka "The Buffalo Guy" has received the majority of votes required to become Speaker of the House.
"I mean, at this point, why not?" said Representative Chip Roy. "Maybe we need a guy like this to shake things up."
After being informed in prison of his surprise election, Buffalo Guy released a statement, saying: "Aw yeah! F---in' A, man! Let's do this thing! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Several Republicans and Democrats in Congress expressed heartbreak over the new Speaker. "He isn't qualified," said Congressman Dan Crenshaw. "He doesn't even know any lobbyists! Pathetic!" Crenshaw then put on his giant squeaky red shoes and ran out of the building sobbing.
Police then released Buffalo Guy and escorted the new leader of Congress to his new office at the Capitol, at which point he lit up a bong and defecated on the desk.
Several Americans polled said they are glad to see the office of Speaker being finally given all the respect it deserves.
Courtesy of The Babylon Bee
WASHINGTON, D.C. In a shocking overnight vote held by the House of Representatives, the QAnon Shaman, aka "The Buffalo Guy" has received the majority of votes required to become Speaker of the House.
"I mean, at this point, why not?" said Representative Chip Roy. "Maybe we need a guy like this to shake things up."
After being informed in prison of his surprise election, Buffalo Guy released a statement, saying: "Aw yeah! F---in' A, man! Let's do this thing! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Several Republicans and Democrats in Congress expressed heartbreak over the new Speaker. "He isn't qualified," said Congressman Dan Crenshaw. "He doesn't even know any lobbyists! Pathetic!" Crenshaw then put on his giant squeaky red shoes and ran out of the building sobbing.
Police then released Buffalo Guy and escorted the new leader of Congress to his new office at the Capitol, at which point he lit up a bong and defecated on the desk.
Several Americans polled said they are glad to see the office of Speaker being finally given all the respect it deserves.
Courtesy of The Babylon Bee
Congressional Prayer Lasts Two Days As Democrat Includes All 5,787 Genders https://t.co/RQjxrdMVbV
— The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) January 5, 2023
If you think I am a liberal, you are incorrect. Assume sarcasm on my part. Sorry if something I post has already been posted. Just the way it is!!
Joe Biden has no idea what he’s talking about.
— RNC Research (@RNCResearch) January 5, 2023
“Then we’re gonna have to use Title 9—Title, uh, 8? 8, right? Am I right?” pic.twitter.com/T1uJLtyoTf
If you think I am a liberal, you are incorrect. Assume sarcasm on my part. Sorry if something I post has already been posted. Just the way it is!!
quote
best 282 days of his presidency IMO
best 282 days of his presidency IMO
Howdy! Been away since before the holidays. Came back for the Bobby Petrino memes and meltdowns and now for some funny political tweets! Forgive me if some of these have been posted...
...first some motivation...
...first some motivation...
— Dave Danna (@DaveEDanna) January 3, 2023
— Rothmus 🏴 (@Rothmus) January 3, 2023
4D chess!
The @latimes has confirmed that white supremacy is now racially inclusive.
— Titania McGrath (@TitaniaMcGrath) January 5, 2023
This means that the only thing more racist than being a white supremacist is not being a white supremacist. pic.twitter.com/axbVdMJsbB
— Gays Against Groomers (@againstgrmrs) January 5, 2023
Yep! Sadly the irony is lost on the many...
Everything wrong with health in America, in one pic. pic.twitter.com/pq3OZBzd7f
— Natural Immunity FTW (@NaturallyFTW) January 4, 2023
God I hate loathe these kinds of parents...
Her intuition at 6 is good. She knows it’s wrong but trusts her mother.
— Hold2 (@Hold2LLC) January 5, 2023
Later in life, she may resent this abusive coercion.
Does FloMask have any evidence or data showing efficacy?
And have all the harms of force-masking kids been measured for comparison? pic.twitter.com/j6eBYSaifv
So glad this guy is back on Twitter!
Did you also notice that it's mainly the obese or unhealthy-looking individuals who are still wearing masks?
— Dr. Simon Goddek (@goddeketal) January 5, 2023
Instead of using the treadmill and following a healthy diet, these types of people look for someone and something else to blame for their misery.
Joe Biden walks into a bar and sees a pretty, young blonde chick.
He sits down next to her and says, "So, do I come here often?"
There is a man drowning 100 feet from shore and crying for help.
A Democrat shows up and throws him 200 feet of rope. The excess rope weighs the victim down and he drowns.
A Republican shows up and throws out 50 feet of rope and demands that the victim take some responsibility for himself and swim to the rope. He can't and drowns.
A libertarian shows up and shrugs, "It isn't my problem," and just goes away; the victim drowns.
A bunch of Tea Party types shows up. One throws the victim a heavy rock; the victim drowns and all of the tea partiers cheer.
A Green Party member shows up. He yells at the victim for polluting the water. The victim drowns.
The communists show up and throw a strong rope. The victim grabs it and is pulled in. He is then drafted into the military. He is killed in the Vietnam War.
At last, a millennial shows up and pulls out her cell phone to film the ordeal, but also feels really bad about the whole experience. The victim drowns but gets 12k likes and 432 shares.
What do you call a failed political campaign?
An electile dysfunction.
He sits down next to her and says, "So, do I come here often?"
There is a man drowning 100 feet from shore and crying for help.
A Democrat shows up and throws him 200 feet of rope. The excess rope weighs the victim down and he drowns.
A Republican shows up and throws out 50 feet of rope and demands that the victim take some responsibility for himself and swim to the rope. He can't and drowns.
A libertarian shows up and shrugs, "It isn't my problem," and just goes away; the victim drowns.
A bunch of Tea Party types shows up. One throws the victim a heavy rock; the victim drowns and all of the tea partiers cheer.
A Green Party member shows up. He yells at the victim for polluting the water. The victim drowns.
The communists show up and throw a strong rope. The victim grabs it and is pulled in. He is then drafted into the military. He is killed in the Vietnam War.
At last, a millennial shows up and pulls out her cell phone to film the ordeal, but also feels really bad about the whole experience. The victim drowns but gets 12k likes and 432 shares.
What do you call a failed political campaign?
An electile dysfunction.
Does anyone have the meme about how liberals take an institution then gut it skin it and wear it as a carcass? Google is no help
— 𝔻𝕠𝕟'𝕥 𝕋𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕕 𝕆𝕟 𝕄𝕖𝕞𝕖𝕤 (@raggedoldmemes) January 5, 2023
If you think I am a liberal, you are incorrect. Assume sarcasm on my part. Sorry if something I post has already been posted. Just the way it is!!
NO AMNESTY!
in order for democrats, liberals, progressives et al to continue their illogical belief systems they have to pretend not to know a lot of things; by pretending "not to know" there is no guilt, no actual connection to conscience. Denial of truth allows easier trespass.
in order for democrats, liberals, progressives et al to continue their illogical belief systems they have to pretend not to know a lot of things; by pretending "not to know" there is no guilt, no actual connection to conscience. Denial of truth allows easier trespass.
An electile dysfunction.
What does Viagra cure in Japan?
captkirk said:
This is incredible pic.twitter.com/jYuY6a6gom
— Kevin McMahon (@Kevin__McMahon) January 4, 2023
Talmbout!
Reporter: "You've put yourself in a pretty public position opposing the person that could be the speaker. Are you worried about retribution?"
— Evan McMurry (@evanmcmurry) January 4, 2023
Rep. Byron Donalds: "Man, I'm 6'2", 275, I'm not worried about that." pic.twitter.com/UQJIq0G50R
Biz Ag said:— Clown World ™ 🤡 (@ClownWorld_) January 5, 2023
Ok fat A$$ hope you feel better now. Lol what term they want used? Oh man this country is doomed.
Just think how bad things would be if he spent that 40% "working"justcallmeharry said:"Joe Biden has spent 282 days – 40% of his presidency – on vacation." https://t.co/kFtg4Xs5uK
— Not the Bee (@Not_the_Bee) January 5, 2023
It's not that funny, is it?
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