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I remain unconvinced that the perpetual virginity of Mary is anything other than man-made tradition. At what point did "virtually everyone" believe this? And what was the basis for that belief?
From as far back as we have records until sometime in the last few centuries. The protestant reformers were unanimous on it as well.
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Is it true that the Protoevangelium of James is the earliest source? Joseph was previously married?
Explicit extant source? Probably. But itself is likely a recording of earlier traditions. For example, the prototypical icon of the Theotokos has three stars - for her perpetual virginity (before, during, after) going back to very old icons indeed (~5th century). And the prototypical icon of St Joseph the Betrothed is of an old man, not a young one.
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Not trying to pepper you with questions either. I fully admit I am rather ignorant on this matter. But Matthew 1:24-25 seems very clear, "When Joseph woke from sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded him: he took his wife, but knew her not until she had given birth to a son."
"Surely I will be with you always, even until the end of the age." The exact same word (heos) is used here. Will Christ abandon us at the end of the age? Of course not. That isn't what this means. It means up to the time, affirming her virginity. It makes no statement as to what comes after. And this is just one of many, many cases where this language is used in the scripture where "until" can not mean "and then after it is different".
Further the church fathers recognized other prophecies associated with the mother of the Lord, passages like Ezekiel 44:2 "This gate shall be shut; it shall not be opened, and no one shall enter by it, for the Lord God of Israel has entered by it; therefore it shall be shut" or the parallels between the Theotokos and the Ark of the Covenant. If touching the Ark improperly killed Uzzah, how could a righteous man like St Joseph have approached the human who gave birth to the God Man?
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Finally, I am aware that words can have alternate meanings, but there was a word for cousin which Paul uses for the relationship between Mark and Barnabas (Col. 4:10). He calls James Jesus' brother (Gal 1:9).
Adelphos is a generic term for relation. There is a specific word for cousin (adelphinos or anepsios) but these are rare. If we look to the Greek scriptures like the Septuagint and other parts of the Greek old testament you see that adelphos is used commonly to mean everything from brother to cousin to kinsman or even countryman, someone of the same tribe or people. Specifically for example we know Lot famously was Abraham's nephew, but he is called his brother using this same term in Genesis 13:8.
Even further, there is no actual affirmation that the brethren of the Lord are the Theotokos Mary's children. Not only does it never say they are her children, it even seems in places that the possessive wording is there to make a distinction, literally "the mother of Him and the brothers of Him". In Acts 1:14 it says literally "Mary the mother of Jesus and with the brothers of Him". Not with her other sons, because she had none.
There is also evidence of this when Christ gives His Mother to be taken into the home of St John - famously, "Woman, behold thy son". It would be shameful for St James or the others to not take care of their own mother. But because she had not other son, the Lord provides for her case, entrusting her to St John.
In other words, the ancient church had and knew the scriptures. If some teaching comes along that presumes for thousands of years the church erred in reading their own scriptures, you can safely assume it is mistaken.
