This!diehard03 said:Quote:
You say you agree with the objection but I'm not sure (honestly, no malice). Using misgendering and deadnaming as the bar for love (which I've quoted to preserve) is demanding that people don't call you out on BS (in your illustration it's your wife who determines what is and isn't BS). I mean the bar here is denying pacifists' belief (which pacifist doesn't even identify as belief but reality).
How does one object to such things and address the underlying issue of disordered desires? To not use affirming language means no more engagement, while suicide is threatened as the only alternative to pacifist not living this way (that's the response pacifist has used here several times, that we'd rather see a dead body than a live one). There's not a line to walk. And I think that's intentional and not accidental. There's no space to debate here by design.
i'd say that you have participated in creating no space to debate as well because you've connected deadnaming to "demanding that people don't call you out on your BS". You are self-imposing a requirement that you must use the biological pronouns and other names. I don't see this connection. I think we can absolutely disagree with someone's choice and yet honor their humanity (and their desire for love) by using a name/pronoun they choose.
For the record, I don't agree with the suicide comment either.
To clarify his misrepresentations, "misgendering" and "deadnaming" are not the "bar for love". Being kind, not being arrogant, not acting disgracefully, not provoking, etc are the "bar for love". As I said earlier, if someone doesn't want to use my pronouns, they can find alternatives. Dialogue can continue if so. For example, if you don't want to say "she said this...", you can say "Pacifist said this...". But to purposely misgender reveals a lot, one of which is a lack of love. It is unkind. It is intentionally trying to provoke.
I think most of us here are college educated. I think most of us here are familiar enough with the English language that they can find a workaround that doesn't violate their conscience and is also respectful to the other person. Unfortunately, some of us have no real desire for respectful dialogue. They want to argue. They want to insult. They want to provoke. It's his M.O. with me.