Ikea Asked Kids to Bully One Plant and Compliment Another for a Month to See What Would Happen

Assuming all other things, such as water, light, etc. were administered equally, this is actually quite fascinating. I'm no scientist, so perhaps some here who are more knowledgeable could point out flaws in this. My gut wants to say that this seems like a stretch.

When the bullied plant started to fade, they should have reversed the signs. Start complimenting it and see if it comes back and the other one faded.

My favorite is when bullies bully bullies about bullying

Frok said:

---

My favorite is when bullies bully bullies about bullying

---

Ah, yes. That immediately reminded me of the video went viral about a dad who, in response to his son being kicked off the bus for 3 days for bullying, forced the boy to run to school in the rain then posted the video online. Or the mom who shaved her daughter's hair for making fun of a cancer patient.

RetiredAg said:

---

Frok said:

---

My favorite is when bullies bully bullies about bullying

---

Ah, yes. That immediately reminded me of the video went viral about a dad who, in response to his son being kicked off the bus for 3 days for bullying, forced the boy to run to school in the rain then posted the video online. Or the mom who shaved her daughter's hair for making fun of a cancer patient.

---

Yea, those sound reasonable.

Oh, I'd much rather talk to my children than bully them to show them that bullying is wrong. Shaving a kid's hair, while it may change future behavior, it doesn't change the heart behind the behavior.

I don't think I would classify making your kid run to school or shaving your kids head as bullying. But yes, talking is good too.

RetiredAg said:

---

Frok said:

---

My favorite is when bullies bully bullies about bullying

---

Ah, yes. That immediately reminded me of the video went viral about a dad who, in response to his son being kicked off the bus for 3 days for bullying, forced the boy to run to school in the rain then posted the video online. Or the mom who shaved her daughter's hair for making fun of a cancer patient.

---

We should bully those parents online. Maybe encourage their employers to fire them.

I think the term bullying usually connotes an element of sadism as well, which makes it inapplicable in most cases of parental discipline.

AstroAg17 said:

---

Bullying is "using superior strength or influence to intimidate (someone), typically to force him or her to do what one wants."

A parent who isn't bullying is a terrible parent. I don't think the word bullying is applicable to parents. If a parent does something egregious we have a different word for it; abuse. Neither of these cases are even close to abuse. Both seem like unusual and ironic punishments.

---

A parent who isn't bullying is a terrible parent?! Oh brother. Well, count me as a terrible parent then, I guess. Our kids don't run wild, yet we do not need to bully them to have them behave appropriately.

Martin Q. Blank said:

---

RetiredAg said:

---

Frok said:

---

My favorite is when bullies bully bullies about bullying

---

Ah, yes. That immediately reminded me of the video went viral about a dad who, in response to his son being kicked off the bus for 3 days for bullying, forced the boy to run to school in the rain then posted the video online. Or the mom who shaved her daughter's hair for making fun of a cancer patient.

---

We should bully those parents online. Maybe encourage their employers to fire them.

---

Nope.

AstroAg17 said:

---

You don't "use superior strength or influence to intimidate (someone), typically to force him or her to do what one wants."? I don't believe you.

---

No. I don't intimidate my children to force compliance. We talk, a lot, in our house. We reason with them and guide them. We don't intimidate.

AstroAg17 said:

---

Shaving your kid's hair could totally change their heart. They'll understand how hard it is to look different and end up empathizing more with people.

---

So your form of "discipline" is dependent on other kids bullying them so they understand how hard it is to look different. I'd rather have them sit down with the kid they bullied, listen to the pain in their voice, listen to how my child's actions hurt them deeply. I'm not going to rely on other kids bullying mine so they feel it themselves.

Retired, I'm curious, how do you interpret "spare the rod, spoil the child" and other similar verses?

Sorry, I don't mean to hijack any further, I'll create another thread.

Moved to the other thread

dargscisyhp said:

---

I don't think I would classify making your kid run to school or shaving your kids head as bullying. But yes, talking is good too.

---

Posting videos of it online to show off how cool you are as a parent while further humiliating your child is pretty much bullying.

My parents punished me plenty growing up. They didn't turn my punishments into their viral fame.

AstroAg17 said:

---

Seems reasonable to me, other than posting online about it.

---

you don't teach someone something is wrong by doing it to them. hitting is wrong, so I'm going to hit you!

why would the answer to a kid being a bully be to bully the kid?

in those particular instances anyway, it seems obvious where the kid learned it.

schmendeler said:

---

AstroAg17 said:

---

Seems reasonable to me, other than posting online about it.

---

you don't teach someone something is wrong by doing it to them. hitting is wrong, so I'm going to hit you!

---

One is punishment, the other is not. Children understand this. It's not hypocritical for a judge to sentence someone to prison for imprisoning someone in their basement.

schmendeler said:

---

you don't teach someone something is wrong by doing it to them.

---

Why not? Seems sensible to me that if a child experiences a similar pain to what he put someone else through he might better be able to understand the consequences of his actions.

Woody2006 said:

---

dargscisyhp said:

---

I don't think I would classify making your kid run to school or shaving your kids head as bullying. But yes, talking is good too.

---

Posting videos of it online to show off how cool you are as a parent while further humiliating your child is pretty much bullying.

My parents punished me plenty growing up. They didn't turn my punishments into their viral fame.

---

I agree that the attention whoring is wholly unnecessary, and I can't see what good it could do for a child.

dargscisyhp said:

---

schmendeler said:

---

you don't teach someone something is wrong by doing it to them.

---

Why not? Seems sensible to me that if a child experiences a similar pain to what he put someone else through he might better be able to understand the consequences of his actions.

---

I think you can express to them the pain caused without doing it to them.

if it's wrong to call kid names or beat them up, why does it make it right for you to do it because you are trying to teach them a lesson?

the harm you are causing to them is no less real because it's you who are the one doing it.

AstroAg17 said:

---

You've generalized there. Nobody says whatever a kid does should be done back to them in all circumstances.

Negative reinforcement is a useful tool. Let's compare the head shaving to a more conventional punishment like grounding. I'd argue that head shaving will have an added benefit of providing perspective. I think regular negative reinforcement discourages the behavior while this is likely to make the kid understand why the behavior needs to be discouraged. And it's disingenuous to assert that the point of the punishment is for the kid to be bullied. It's to understand what it's like to be someone else.

---

I agree with negative reinforcement.

I disagree with doing it in a way that makes you appear as a bully to the child. those two parents have done nothing but create resentment with those kids.

if the child isn't showing respect to others, the answer isn't to cause him embarrassment and ridicule. all that does is encourage other children to do more negative behavior. encouraging or setting the stage for more unkind behavior is going in the opposite direction of what you want.

Quote:

---

Do you think the kid would get the same understanding from being grounded?

---

If you cannot convey to your children that it's wrong, and why it's wrong, to mock a cancer patient without shaving their head so as to subject them to bullying themselves, then that's a fault of the parent. We would sit down with our kids and talk to them. If we needed to, we'd invite the cancer patient over with their family and talk. We'd have our kid sit there and listen to how their mocking made the other person feel. I think seeing the pain they caused, seeing their victim's humanity, is a much more powerful deterrent to the offensive behavior than "an eye for an eye".

It may take more effort. It may take some creativity. But bullying your child to comply will only erode the trust they have in you, and it will send mixed messages to your child.

AstroAg17 said:

---

That sounds like a better alternative. But how do you think it compares to grounding or other standard negative reinforcement techniques?

---

We try not to use negative reinforcement techniques in our house. Assuming the grounding involves talking and instruction, I'd still prefer that over shaving your child's head.

Quote:

---

The phrase "bullying your child" with punishment triggers an internal eye roll every time I see it. Bullying doesn't refer to the parent-child relationship, especially when the parent is punishing the child for misdeeds.

---

Yes, bullying absolutely can refer to the parent-child relationship.