AstroAg17 said:
One off? That's an unproveable assumption. Statistics say your odds of doing it again are about 50-50. A person may say they won't, but that's worthless.
What are the odds that someone would cheat to begin with? Where does that come into play?
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Accidental? Nope.
I don't say accidental like "I tripped and fell on her and my peen got stuck". I mean I have seen a lot of people do incredibly stupid stuff while drunk that they wouldn't do while sober.
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Slip up? Did the person say "oops, silly me" after?
Sure if by "Ooops, silly me" you mean being beset with guilt and self-loathing.
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They cheated on their wife. It's adultery. It's betrayal. It's grounds for divorce, both legally and from a Christian perspective.
That you think it's not cheating is amazing. I didn't know people like you existed before I started texagging, and if you told me that most of the people arguing for the utilitarian course of deceit and lies would be Christian, I never would have believed it without seeing it.
I'm drawing a distinction between a one time thing - in my scenario that was prompted by alcohol - and
cheating, which is a verb in the present participle, an ongoing action. While you are correct in that both are infidelity and adultery, there is more nuance to the situation. It's like how our legal code does not treat premeditated murder and running over a jogger who wasn't paying attention to the crossing signals at an intersection as the same thing. Sure, in both situations you killed someone, but that is where the similarities end.
Ever been in a relationship? Imagine if your partner knew every thought that entered your head. Imagine if she knew every salty remark, irritated comment, or what you really thought of she looked in that dress. If my wife knew every unbidden thought and emotion that passed through my head of a day, week, and month, she would be torn between shock and disgust at me. I'm sure the same would be true in reverse. I do not need to know every impure thought, negative attitude towards me, etc. I need to know if there is a
pattern.
I am saying this as a man who is happily married to his best friend.
In my hypothetical situation,
I screwed up - I
allowed myself to get into a vulnerable position, a position where I am not in my right state of mind. Alcohol affects us - it changes our thought processes and lowers our inhibitions. Stuff we would swear off doing sober for all the right reasons seems like a
genius idea when you've had a few.
That is why, in this hypothetical situation, I would not tell me wife of what transpired. I am not going to clear my guilty conscience by dumping this bomb in her lap. I would want that guilt to chew me up inside and force me to be a better man - I can be pretty hard on myself but I channel that negativity into making myself better. So yeah, I will deceive my wife - I will not
confess to her unless she asks me if I have cheated on her. I will admit that is a lie of omission.
Now for reality: when I'm on business trips, I don't drink - I don't allow myself to even get down that path. I've actually ordered a beer at a bar, dumped it out in the bathroom, and filled it up halfway with tap water to maintain the social appearance of drinking - I've observed that if your hands are empty, people will try to put something in it.
I'm a reasonably fit, attractive enough guy that I've been propositioned by drunk (and sober) women at trade show happy hours when I've been traveling. When that happens, I find a way to excuse myself from the happy hour, go to my hotel and order a pizza and watch Netflix and thank God that I was sober. Why Pizza? in case I regret my decision, it is really hard to want sex after eating most of a pizza.
Frankly, this is all moot. I want my count of sexual partners to remain at one.