Of course she deserves to know. People are pretending like the honesty would be damaging, when it was actually the infidelity and continued dishonesty that was actually damaging.
I still don't see any grey area from a Christian perspective. In Christian marriage two people are joined to become one. One body and one life. Your body belongs to your spouse. If you commit adultery with your body (his/her property), then your spouse deserves to know. Lying about it just piles sin on sin. The dishonesty is a bad apple in the barrel of your marriage, and it's going to rot the whole thing through.
Trust me, been on the bad side of this. It wasn't adultery (that I'm aware of), but my former spouse lied to me for years. She had a problem that directly impacted me and lied to me to spare my feelings. She wanted to fix the problem and then I would never know or be burdened by it. Well, guess what? The problem got worse, and when it was getting too big to hide she just avoided me instead. At the end and before coming clean, she couldn't stand to be around me and couldn't look me in the face due to guilt. That first white lie was step one to the complete destruction of my marriage. There is never a good reason to lie to your spouse, at least if you want to keep your spouse.
I still don't see any grey area from a Christian perspective. In Christian marriage two people are joined to become one. One body and one life. Your body belongs to your spouse. If you commit adultery with your body (his/her property), then your spouse deserves to know. Lying about it just piles sin on sin. The dishonesty is a bad apple in the barrel of your marriage, and it's going to rot the whole thing through.
Trust me, been on the bad side of this. It wasn't adultery (that I'm aware of), but my former spouse lied to me for years. She had a problem that directly impacted me and lied to me to spare my feelings. She wanted to fix the problem and then I would never know or be burdened by it. Well, guess what? The problem got worse, and when it was getting too big to hide she just avoided me instead. At the end and before coming clean, she couldn't stand to be around me and couldn't look me in the face due to guilt. That first white lie was step one to the complete destruction of my marriage. There is never a good reason to lie to your spouse, at least if you want to keep your spouse.
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