Star Wars Rewatch Project: EPISODE II ATTACK OF THE CLONES

12,858 Views | 106 Replies | Last: 5 yr ago by The Collective
The Collective
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
Great post.

This short clip perfectly illustrates the problems with this movie.
TCTTS
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
Love this breakdown. And pretty much my thoughts exactly.
PDWT_12
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
I could be wrong, but I think I remember reading that in some earlier writings, Sifo Dyas was possibly going to end up being an alias for Sidious since they have a similar sound, but I assume that went out the window as the script progressed and Kenobi, Yoda, and Windu all treated him as a real Jedi.
DannyDuberstein
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
Quote:

What I Would Change:


I don't know. All of it. I think fixing The Phantom Menace by making Anakin a teenager when he's found, so you could actually build some romance for him and Padme into the first movie and not start from scratch in the second, would help a lot. Have him spend more time with Obi Wan and actually build that friendship, so the fall in RotS hurts all the more. Maybe even show the best pilot in the galaxy fly a little bit, you know, since the most we've seen from him is Podracing, accidentally destroying a Trade Federation ship, and piloting a speeder through rush hour traffic. Having an antagonist like Maul (Other than Palpatine) carry over from TPM would have been nice too.
Very much agree. Start with teenage Anakin. Retain Darth Maul. Build a scary, coherent threat to republic over all 3 movies using Darth Maul as the focus vs. these Trade Federation stooges and silly, confusing motivation built in there about taxes, trade routes, etc. Use battles vs. Maul to show of Anakin's pilot skills and to bond Obi Wan and Anakin.
PDWT_12
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
That over-inflated, wool-less sheep was about 6 inches and one hard stomp from robbing Sidious of his future apprentice.
twilly
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
CJS4715 said:

Great post.

This short clip perfectly illustrates the problems with this movie.

Remember, in just a couple of days, that hog rider there kills women and children. He treated them like animals.
DannyDuberstein
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
Also, the bot army needed to be a lot more intimidating looking. You could have Maul, some evil (human and alien) joined with him, and then an army of some scary looking robot soldiers. That could easily carry 2+ movies until Sidious gets his opportunity.
TCTTS
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
Has Lucas ever explicitly stated why he started with such a young Anakin in TPM? I'm assuming it's because Jedi are developed and trained from such a young age and he "needed" that to make sense, I guess, but wouldn't the drama have been better if Anakin was older?

As is, young Anakain is just a *little* too old, it's argued about for like a scene, and then he's ultimately accepted. It would have been SO MUCH better, though, if he was like 18 in TPM and whether to train him or not was the crux of most of the movie. There could have been a ton of debate about it, but he proves himself worthy in the end, though there's still a lot reluctance/un-trust among certain members of the council.

Basically, it should have been...


EPISODE I

- Tie all the beginning of the clone stuff and investigation into THIS movie. And make THAT how Naboo comes into the picture. Screw the trade dispute. Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan are coming to Naboo to investigate rumblings of a clone army. They discover what's going down, Padme had no idea, all hell breaks loose, and they escape the planet just the same, and end up on Tatooine.

- Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, and Padme come across Anakin in much the same way. Except here, there's no Jar-Jar and Anakin is 18-ish.

- Anakin and Padme fall for each other ON Tatooine. Even if it's just flirting, there's at least a kiss. So when Anakin is ultimately accepted as a Jedi by the end of the movie, there's even more built-in drama. In one of the last scenes of the movie, after Anakin has taken his Jedi vow, it's revealed that he's WITH Padme, secretly, directly ignoring his vow right out of the gate.

- Maul of course lives. He kills Qui-Gon, but it's not until the end of Episode II that Obi-Wan gets his revenge.


EPISODE II

- The first act is the love story. Anakin and Padme are still seeing each other in secret. They plan to get married.

- In the background of these events, war is all but assured. The Clone Wars are about to begin.

- Then you basically turn it into a WWII movie, with the soldier "called off to war," and the vast majority of the movie are the beginning battles of the Clone Wars. Anakin is separated from Padme, but this is where Anakin and Obi-Wan become great friends, in the midst of the war. We actually SEE this instead of entirely skipping over it for some reason.

- The drama with Padme could then be that she's being "married off" to another royal family in an effort to help with the war, create an alliance, etc. Except she's obviously with Anakin and can't tell anyone. Part of the cliffhanger is that, by movie's end... she choses to marry whoever it is she's being set up with. Even though she's in love with Anakin, she has to do what's right for people and for the war. The final scene of the movie is Anakin learning this. Maybe they were to rendezvous somewhere, Anakin arrives, and Padme's not there. Instead, he learns what's happened, and this sets him off even more.

- Trade out Dukku for Maul. Obi-Wan gets his revenge.


EPISODE III

There's still a ton I'd change, but the structure could at least stay relatively the same. Only with Padme obviously married not to Anakin, but the other royal who somehow plays into the plot (though Anakin and Padme still manage to have one last secret jaunt together where he gets her pregnant). The war rages on. Very LOTR, where an important battle was won at the end of the second movie, with a bigger war to go in the third movie, only the good guys lose in the end instead of win, save for Obi-Wan defeating Anakin, thus turning him into Vader.


Anyway, I could go on and on retconning these movies in more detail, but that's the basic gist of how I would have tackled it.
TCTTS
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG

Quote:

Only with Padme obviously married not to Anakin, but the other royal who somehow plays into the plot (though Anakin and Padme still manage to have one last secret jaunt together where he gets her pregnant).

Damn it, this could even set up the events of the OT better. Instead of Leia being adopted by the Organas, the Organas could have been the royal family Padme was married off to. And everyone thinks Padme only had one kid - Leia - and everyone assumes that Organa is the father, even Leia. But in reality, Padme had twins by Aanakin, and Luke was the only one taken into hiding.
PDWT_12
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
I mentioned this in the TPM thread, I think another reason Lucas made him young was the ability to play off a young boy's fear of losing his mother and because he wanted to show how "strong in the Force" Anakin was at an early age.

I don't think those two reasons alone are worth the issues it causes later on.

Also I agree with a lot your changes for the prequels. I've also thought about what it could have been like if the love story was far enough along midway through II, that they get married and the Council finds out and expels him by the end. Then the third movie could follow him as a military leader in the Clone Wars, and he'd be away from the Kenobi (although maybe they continue to build their relationship as they both try help in the war)/Council and easy to manipulate by Palpatine.
TCTTS
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
Oh, that's an interesting twist for sure. Expel him from the Jedi Order after they find out he's with Padme. Except, ironically, this should happen AFTER Padme has been married off, so it doubly pisses off Anakin. He can't have Padme. He can't be a Jedi. That's the end of Episode II. And then, yeah, Episode III could be all about him now being a disgruntled military leader of sorts in the war... the perfect time for Palpatine to swoop in and offer an alternate path to The Force.

Man, this is all SO GOOD.
Flashdiaz
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
the only problem with starting Anakin so late is no JarJar, no midichlorians and we wouldn't see him building C3P..... oh wait...
Render
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
SF2004 said:

Render said:

jokershady said:

Cactus Jack said:

Obligatory:


holy **** im only 2 minutes in to this and im laughing my ass off....how have I never seen this????

My friend, you're about to join the legion of RedLetterMedia addicts. And God, I know I'm one.

Plinkett helped me fully realize that the people who genuinely like the prequels have the common sense and good taste of 12 year olds.
I enjoyed watching these movies until someone on the internet who I thought was cool told me not to....FIFY.

Like clockwork!



Ha! Well y'know, if he told me to jump off a bridge, I would!

He simply articulated the feelings I already had, and also revealed the full extent of Lucas' incompetence.
Rudyjax
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
Holeee sheet.



The romance novel he pulls up in the 16th second is a book by Sophie Jordan. Shari Michals Kohler, who writes as Sophie Jordan, is an Aggie.
Hagen95
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
Whole lotta fan fiction going down here, on this page.
The Collective
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
By the way, am I the only person bothered by how much better Anakin got at balancing between AOTC and ROTS?

redline248
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
Quote:

Has Lucas ever explicitly stated why he started with such a young Anakin in TPM?
You're asking for a logical answer from the man that wasn't even bothered to watch his original material before creating massive conflicts with his new material.

"When I first knew him, your father was already a great pilot..."

The boy Obi-Wan met on Tatooine could race pods, but was nothing close to a great pilot. As evidenced by his dicking around in the Naboo fighter.
oragator
How long do you want to ignore this user?
Ii always thought he made him young because he wanted to make him a sympathetic innocent child. It made the transformation that much more dramatic and humanized him.
And I will say I am glad he did, because it meant one less movie with HC, who was the worst actor and worst decision in the entire Star Wars world, and it isn't close. God he was awful.

As far as clones, some good scenes, but all I can think about with that movie was garbage like this.



Not even fit for hallmark.
TCTTS
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
Yeah, but if we're able to retcon the plot in this dream scenario, I'm assuming we're able to recast Christensen as well. That, and there are literally thousands of ways to make a teen sympathetic, humanize him, etc. I don't understand why he has to be a child for that and why the audience has to be hit over the head with that basic conceit.
Cinco Ranch Aggie
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
So I re-watched Attack of the Clones this afternoon. It's been a long while since I watched it in its entirety.

I found the opening half, roughly, to be tedious and boring, save for the chase through the skies of Coruscant. The courtship, so-called, felt like puppy love on Anakin's part, and ice princess on Amidala's part, and it felt forced. The dialogue was not great, but any time I see that criticism, I think back to what Harrison Ford said to George Lucas - you can write this crap, but you can't say it (something like that). Dialogue has, for the most part, never been a strong suit in these movies (TESB is a definite exception).

The second half was more entertaining. I loved the imagery of thousands of clones boarding starships, the arena battle especially once the gunships showed up, the lightsabre duels between Obi-Wan, Anakin, Yoda and Dooku, and finally the birth of what would become the Imperial fleet when Palpatine oversees the launching of Republic cruisers.

Of the prequels, I rank this one as the worst. But it's still head and shoulders better than The Last Jedi.

On the prequel alternative posted above, sounds good, probably makes the trilogy better ... but these three movies are what we got. TLJ proved they could have been far, far worse.
Cinco Ranch Aggie
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
Quote:

- Maul of course lives. He kills Qui-Gon, but it's not until the end of Episode II that Obi-Wan gets his revenge.
Solo (and I believe one of the animated series) showed that Maul lived.

Wouldn't Obi-Wan getting revenge send him down the path of the dark side?
TCTTS
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
I'm talking within the context of the three prequel movies. Only a tiny fraction of the movie audience saw the cartoons in which Maul continued as a living character. As for "revenge"... call whatever you want. I'm not saying Obi-Wan seeks out revenge. I'm saying he simply kills Maul later in the trilogy than at the end of the first movie. That, and if you want to get technical, he's clearly pissed when Maul kills Qui-Gon, and is absolutely looking to settle the score in that moment.
Cinco Ranch Aggie
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
TCTTS said:

I'm talking within the context of the three prequel movies. Only a tiny fraction of the movie audience saw the cartoons in which Maul continued as a living character. As for "revenge"... call whatever you want. I'm not saying Obi-Wan seeks out revenge. I'm saying he simply kills Maul later in the trilogy than at the end of the first movie. That, and if you want to get technical, he's clearly pissed when Maul kills Qui-Gon, and is absolutely looking to settle the score in that moment.
Yes, he definitely skirts the edge of the dark side in TPM (and that was when Maul appeared to beat him with a Force push into the tube thing).
Bruce Almighty
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
What should have happened: Darth Maul kills Anakin's mother, Anakin seeks revenge and gets his ass kicked. Episode III, Anakin kills Darth Maul, turns to the dark side, then fights Obi Wan.
TCTTS
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
That's pretty good and would fit right into the basic structure.
Aggie_Journalist
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
Here's how I'd have sketched out an original trilogy.

Episode I:
Obi wan is dispatched by the Jedi to investigate some trouble on a rim world planet. This is a planet that had been peaceful, but the once noble monarch is suddenly turning converting his planet's resources toward war industry and preparing to revolt against the republic. Obi wan meets a pair of twins during his mission who are either street rats or part of a resistance, Anakin and his twin sister, who already close to 20 years old. Anakin is clearly strong in the force and already a brilliant pilot, and he's closer to his sister than anyone, having lost their parents at a young age. Anakin's sister is killed in the chaotic climax, resulting in a darkness inside him. You also learn the monarch had been replaced by a clone controlled by the sith, and Jedi can detect when someone is a clone through the force. Obi wan takes Anakin to the Jedi for training at the end of the movie.

Episode II
Paranoia grips the galaxy as word spreads that people are being replaced by clones. The Jedi spread across the universe to try to find the source of the clones. This leads to frictions between humans and aliens, as only humans are being replaced by clones, and between everyone and the Jedi, as only the Jedi can detect clones, and everyone is afraid the Jedi will accidentally tag them as a clone. One of the republic's generals declares only he can stop the clones and goes into revolt and you have civil war that becomes known as the clone war. Anakin discovers a love interest and starts a relationship. You begin to see that Anakin, angry that civil war killed his sister, believes it's ok to use force to impose order. Whatever sith baddie existed in episode I returns for episode II and works as an almost terminator-like agent allied to the rogue general, but is killed in the climax, leaving the Jedi to think they've solved their sith problem.

Episode III
A senator named Palpatine is given the rank of dictator with supreme power to end the civil war. You start to see the republic turning into the empire. The Jedi kill the rebel general and are shocked to learn he wasn't a clone or a sith, just an opportunist. Now that the sith controlled clones have done their job, the dictator / emperor sends Anakin on a mission to destroy the source of the clones, where he finds planted evidence indicating the Jedi were behind the clones the whole time. Anakin then turns on the Jedi and joins the sith, fully committed to the idea that only a military dictatorship can bring order to the galaxy (mirroring his later offer to Luke). Anakin has his kids, destroys the Jedi, loses his love interest, and becomes Darth Vader as yoda and obi wan go into hiding.

The basic idea behind this outline is Anakin doesn't necessarily become crazy evil, he's following a progression you can almost understand where he thinks a military dictatorship will bring the order that the republic couldn't provide, and he does it because he doesn't want anyone else to feel the pain he feels over the loss of his twin sister. You also get to have lots of fun and political intrigue with the "who is a clone?" Suspense.
Thanks and gig'em
InternetFan02
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
This is a kids movie...my 3 boys love all the jedis and lightsabers...I love looking at Natalie Portman and laughing at the unintentional comedy...it's by far the most watched episode in our house
redline248
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
I finally watched all 3 parts of that Plinkett's review, dude nails it, of course. Everything wrong with that movie is we are told things but don't feel/experience them along with the characters.
A. Solzhenitsyn
How long do you want to ignore this user?
InternetFan02 said:

This is a kids movie...my 3 boys love all the jedis and lightsabers...I love looking at Natalie Portman and laughing at the unintentional comedy...it's by far the most watched episode in our house

Sometimes it's a kids movie. Other times Anakin is slaughtering families or there are tedious discussions about trade routes and intergalactic politics. Then Anakin falls off a fat alien critter, silly! Then we're chopping arms off.
TCTTS
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
Spot on.
DannyDuberstein
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
This sounds like Invasion of the Body Snatchers. In space. Stretched over 3 movies.
TCTTS
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
One (additional) thing that's so weird about the prequels is Lucas' insistence on writing/directing them all himself. In the OT, after ONE movie, he happily turned over the reigns, both in writing and directing, with hardly any issue. At the peak of his talent. But with the prequels, he seemed MORE disgruntled to make them, yet MORE insistent on making them 100% himself, long after his prime. I've never understood why he didn't at least write these movies WITH someone. I get why no one really gave him notes from within Lucasfilm - Lucas was essentially a god and no one questioned his authority - but I'll never understand why Lucas himself didn't seek out collaborators, or at least run the scripts by a few of his many prominent director friends for notes - friends who would have at least give him an honest answer. I know he apparently reached out to Ron Howard early in the process to direct Episode I, and had a casual conversation with Spielberg about directing Episode III, but those talks have always come across as half-assed and not very serious. This whole endeavor, and Lucas' approach in general, has always been such a head scratcher.
DannyDuberstein
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
I always chalked this up to Empire Ego. It's a little like Jerry Jones firing Jimmy Johnson and spending the past 20+ years trying to do it himself. I do think it bothered Lucas that Empire became widely known as the superior movie of the original trilogy and that many chalked it up to the fact it wasn't written or directed by Lucas. So he was going to have his hands all over the new trilogy in every way.
Render
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
Yep, but there's another bizarre layer, too. He also didn't want to go through the hassles of filmmaking, so that's why everything is on green screen, scripts were half-assed, hardly any shooting on location or real sets; heck, in the behind the scenes, Lucas is always shown away from the actors, sipping his coffee in front of monitors in another room. I guess after the trials of IV he decided he was never going to "suffer" through filmmaking again. The problem with that is, suffering for your work usually makes the best art.
John Matrix
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
Attack of the Clones was released in the summer of 2002, about five months after Fellowship of the Ring and two years after The Matrix. The reason I reiterate this fact is that Attack of the Clones kind of represented how far behind Star Wars at the time had gotten in terms of epic filmmaking on a big budget scale. Simple put, The Matrix and Lord of the Rings had suppassed Star Wars on the cultural scale in terms of relevance, and this film didn't help. At all. Attack of the Clones is the worst Star Wars movie not because of the acting, ( which is atrocious), the special effects( which are terrible), or the writing and direction,( which also fall flat), but because AOTC represents a cynical need to please fanboys, which resulted in a film that's looked like a video game, sounded like a 5th grade play, and ultimately made me realize that George Lucas really needed to fire the yes men hanging on his jock.

What's Good ( if anything):

When I initially saw AOTC, I actually thought it was a step up from TPM because George Lucas had tricked me by throwing expensive CGI and well-staged action in the third act at me, and this re watch just confirmed that. One thing I've noticed re watching the prequels is that Lucas is actually a hell of an action director. Every shot is clear, we'll-constricted, and is edited with momentum. Just as long as it doesn't involve depicting human emotions on screen, Lucas is actually really great at it. The third act,( the initial battle of the clone wars), actually works really well as an action set piece.

Ewan McGregor is actually pretty good as Obi-wan.

Welp, that's all that's good about this.


The Bad:

Obi Wan and Anakin are supposed to be old friends who tragically come to blows over Anakin's descent to the dark side. This is the critical relationship that forms the backbone of the prequels, and Lucas totally fumbles it. I don't see how these two are friends, how they work together, or if they're even human. There is nothing there that connects those characterization dots for us.

CGI abomination Yoda also kind of sucks. The classic Frank Oz voice is there, but it's 1997 level CGI in a year that featured Golum in The Two Towers that was borderline photo realistic. There no excuse for it.

The story makes no sense as well, as has been documented already on this thread.

Now, the ugly,( or why sand sucks as much as this romance):

I know it's not Hayden Christianson's fault. Really. Dude just wanted to be in a Star Wars film and probably gave it all he had. The problem is this: George Lucas can not relate human emotion and/or conditions in a believable way. He just doesn't understand us, like a robot looking to quell a crying toddler. For example, The romance between Anakin and Padme is just next level awful. Anakin is a whiny, possibly psychopathic, creepy malcontent that somehow manages to win the heart of an experienced senator. I swear I winced about five times while watching this abortion of s relationship upon re-watch. It's so bad; so false; so obviously misguided. The entire Naboo sequence,( featured in gifs in this thread), is just the worst stretch of filmmaking in Lucas' career. Every dress Padme wears is designer, every meeting and dialogue an awkward precursor to #me too, every beat false. The fact this film features a scene of Padme running through Daisy's like she's Heidi or something is borderline miraculous in how badly conieved it is.



The fact that Padme is the catalyst that drives Anakin to the dark side is the ultimate failure of this trilogy- you don't believe these characters are human beings that even care about things like dying and love.

In essence, Lucas totally screws up the two relationships that should be the driving force of the storyline to the point that there was no saving it. What was supposed to be a tragic loss of innocence turned into a joke.

I've often been accusedby friends of being a sunshine pumper when it comes to movies-I tend to be pretty forgiving on stuff in general. For me to be this cynical about a movie reveals how bad this section truly is.The

I could go on forever on the bad stuff, so I just leave this final rating for the film.

* out of ****

 
×
subscribe Verify your student status
See Subscription Benefits
Trial only available to users who have never subscribed or participated in a previous trial.