Entertainment
Sponsored by

Valerian & the City of a Thousand Planets - maybe the harshest review I've ever read

22,050 Views | 159 Replies | Last: 6 yr ago by YouBet
White Liberals=The Worst
How long do you want to ignore this user?
Brian Earl Spilner said:

I've only seen that guy as Harry Osborn in Amazing Spider-Man. He's absolutely terrible.
Not trying to be mean, but I saw him in person in Manhattan about 2 years ago, and he looked like a homeless Leonardo Dicaprio with AIDS. People were swarming him. The wife asked "who the hell is that" and i told her it was the sick looking boy from Chronicle (we both love that movie and think he is great in it).
GiveEmHellBill
How long do you want to ignore this user?
Bruce Almighty said:

Avatar > 5th Element
Leeloo Multipass > Smurf Pocahontas
One Eyed Reveille
How long do you want to ignore this user?
Ferngully > Dances with Wolves > Avatar
schmendeler
How long do you want to ignore this user?
it's funny, I enjoyed avatar when I saw it in theaters. I even bought the bluray when it came out. but I've never watched it. I think it's still in the wrapper. meanwhile, I've watched 5th element at least 5 times all the way through, plus large chunks when it's on tv.
Cromagnum
How long do you want to ignore this user?
Brian Earl Spilner said:

I've only seen that guy as Harry Osborn in Amazing Spider-Man. He's absolutely terrible.


He was also in the Metallica movie. (Terrible in that too)
wesag
How long do you want to ignore this user?
Based upon the trailer I bet this is a good movie if you're high.
Max Power
How long do you want to ignore this user?
Anyone else here refer to their dick as The Fifth Element?
schmendeler
How long do you want to ignore this user?
Max Power said:

Anyone else here refer to their dick as The Fifth Element?


More like the Ruby Rod
GiveEmHellBill
How long do you want to ignore this user?
Max Power said:

Anyone else here refer to their dick as The Fifth Element?
You realize the tagline for the movie was: "It Must Be Found"?

TMoney2007
How long do you want to ignore this user?
Bruce Almighty said:

powerbelly51 said:

Bruce Almighty said:

Avatar > 5th Element
At least the 5th Element was somewhat original.


It's weird how some movies are criticized for being unoriginal while others get a free pass. Very few movies are actually original. That's something that's never really bothered me.
Not all movies get hyped as god's gift to cinema and creating a completely new world and waiting 20 years for technology to catch up with vision and blah blah blah.

Its a really pretty, really expensive hippy environmentalist popcorn flick, that's all. Its a replay of the noble savage trope, to the T.

The Dark Knight trilogy gets all kinds of praise and it is a rehashing of the same old story, but it didn't get promoted as anything but a retelling of an existing story. That's the difference.
PatAg
How long do you want to ignore this user?
A big thing 5th Element had going for it were 2 of the main characters were established, amazing actors.

This movie doesn't have that, but I'm still interested in seeing it.
3 William 56
How long do you want to ignore this user?
rhutton125 said:

Fifth Element is pretty divisive, so I bet this one will be too. For example, this review says it's the worst thing ever. But RT has a (very) early score of 72%.

Personally, I don't like the Fifth Element very much. But my gf absolutely loves it.

You don't deserve her.
rhutton125
How long do you want to ignore this user?
True
dcaggie04
How long do you want to ignore this user?
It's good that people bring up the comparison with Fifth Element since both movies have the same director. Other movies you may have heard of from this director:

Taken, Taken 2, Taken 3, The Transporter, Transporter 2, Transporter 3, Lucy, The Professional, Nikita
fig96
How long do you want to ignore this user?
dcaggie04 said:

It's good that people bring up the comparison with Fifth Element since both movies have the same director. Other movies you may have heard of from this director:

Taken, Taken 2, Taken 3, The Transporter, Transporter 2, Transporter 3, Lucy, The Professional, Nikita
That's kinda misleading.

He wrote and directed The Professional, wrote the first of the Transporter and Taken series of films (not the sequels) and didn't direct any of them, wrote Lucy and the original La Femme Nikita.
dcaggie04
How long do you want to ignore this user?
You're right, I read some stuff backwords. He was screenwriter and producer on all the ones I listed.
Max Power
How long do you want to ignore this user?
GiveEmHellBill said:

Max Power said:

Anyone else here refer to their dick as The Fifth Element?
You realize the tagline for the movie was: "It Must Be Found"?


And then it stopped evil and saved the world.
captkirk
How long do you want to ignore this user?
Brennus said:

The Fifth Element is one of those movies if pass by on TV I always watch. And Chris Tucker is greatness in it.
+1
Definitely Not A Cop
How long do you want to ignore this user?
TMoney2007 said:

Bruce Almighty said:

powerbelly51 said:

Bruce Almighty said:

Avatar > 5th Element
At least the 5th Element was somewhat original.


It's weird how some movies are criticized for being unoriginal while others get a free pass. Very few movies are actually original. That's something that's never really bothered me.
Not all movies get hyped as god's gift to cinema and creating a completely new world and waiting 20 years for technology to catch up with vision and blah blah blah.

Its a really pretty, really expensive hippy environmentalist popcorn flick, that's all. Its a replay of the noble savage trope, to the T.

The Dark Knight trilogy gets all kinds of praise and it is a rehashing of the same old story, but it didn't get promoted as anything but a retelling of an existing story. That's the difference.


This. I'll add that Dark Knight has a solid plot with great acting. Avatar has a terrible plot with one of the lamest Deus Ex Machinas of all times, and I couldn't name you one memorable acting performance from it. Maybe the marine bad guy did pretty well playing the role he has played 20 times before?
c-jags
How long do you want to ignore this user?
Bruce Almighty said:

Avatar > 5th Element


Notice how many posts on this thread have blue stars.


Then look at yours.
YouBet
How long do you want to ignore this user?
Was reading about this and apparently this movie was uniquely financed in such a way that it would change how Hollywood funded movies.

I don't know what that means but Besson had complete free reign with this film with almost zero input or second guessing by the executives. Supposedly.
Bruce Almighty
How long do you want to ignore this user?
c-jags said:

Bruce Almighty said:

Avatar > 5th Element


Notice how many posts on this thread have blue stars.


Then look at yours.


I see. So you're one of the posters that finds self worth in how many people blue star your post.
c-jags
How long do you want to ignore this user?
Never even cared. But your statement was so terrible it stood out.
Bruce Almighty
How long do you want to ignore this user?
c-jags said:

Never even cared. But your statement was so terrible it stood out.


Well it's a good thing I don't care about what some message board poster thinks about my opinion on a movie.
c-jags
How long do you want to ignore this user?
Ditto. All in good joking sir.
PatAg
How long do you want to ignore this user?
Bruce Almighty said:

c-jags said:

Never even cared. But your statement was so terrible it stood out.


Well it's a good thing I don't care about what some message board poster thinks about my opinion on a movie.
You should in this instance.
Ag03 CQE
How long do you want to ignore this user?
I just hope Coolio gets royalties for them using the music from Gangsta's Paradise for the trailer.
titanmaster_race
How long do you want to ignore this user?
Wait..... so there are people who saw the trailers for Valerian and didn't think it would be bad?

It looks like a classic "the plot and the characters suck, so let's up the CGI budget and hope people don't notice it sucks".
Farmer1906
How long do you want to ignore this user?
It has a 69 on RT so it can't be too terrible.
Tonyperkis
How long do you want to ignore this user?
Reading through the RT reviews, the themes are pretty consistent The visuals and overall sci-fi world creation are stunning. The story is good. The lead actors are bad.

Sounds like it will still be an enjoyable movie. Wish they would have casted better leads.
Objective Aggie
How long do you want to ignore this user?
While working out I saw an ad for this. No sound mind you. But I just saw a preview and then some incredibly high praise from critics and it got me curious.

Then I realized I want to see Planet of the Apes, Dunkirk, Spider Man, and The Big Sick so this really is not in the picture. Then I saw some feedback on it and that sealed the deal. But funny how the commercial made it sound like a bigger better Avatar.
FL_Ag1998
How long do you want to ignore this user?
Tonyperkis said:

....Wish they would have casted better leads.


Ever since she appeared on the scene I've wondered how the hell Cara Delawhatever ever gets invited to the casting process, much less actually given the part.

She's horrible.
schmendeler
How long do you want to ignore this user?
Objective Aggie said:

While working out I saw an ad for this. No sound mind you. But I just saw a preview and then some incredibly high praise from critics and it got me curious.

Then I realized I want to see Planet of the Apes, Dunkirk, Spider Man, and The Big Sick so this really is not in the picture. Then I saw some feedback on it and that sealed the deal. But funny how the commercial made it sound like a bigger better Avatar.
the only movie that isn't going to be out before valerian is Dunkirk. you can see all of those others starting tomorrow. you saving up your movies till the 21st for some reason?
Objective Aggie
How long do you want to ignore this user?
I see a movie once every six months in the theater.

But I will see Planet if the Apes opening weekend. The other three I want to see over the month or so. And then I will be burned out on the theater.
wesag
How long do you want to ignore this user?
Objective Aggie said:

I see a movie once every six months in the theater.

But I will see Planet if the Apes opening weekend. The other three I want to see over the month or so. And then I will be burned out on the theater.


pretty sure you're in the wrong place
 
×
subscribe Verify your student status
See Subscription Benefits
Trial only available to users who have never subscribed or participated in a previous trial.