This is so awesome.

My wife likes to tell the story of how she chased down Adrian Peterson at a track meet.

(He was watching his nephew compete in a JH track meet where my wife was coaching. Super nice guy, by the way.)

Jerry Rice spent a day with me and the rest of our football staff because of how terribly bad our football team was. We were all sitting in the gym and suddenly the guy next to me hands me something. I look down and it's one of Rice's Super Bowl rings. I look over at him and he's just beaming. Let all of us and our kids try it on. I was super scared someone was going to pocket it. He tried to correct one of our running backs method of holding the football and the KID ROLLED HIS EYES AND SAID 'WHATEVER' TO JERRY RICE. I've never been so angry/embarrassed at one of my athletes before. On his way out at the end of the day, I shook his hand, told him thanks for spending time with us and our kids and he held my hand a little longer, pulled me in closer and whispered "Good luck." With a wink and a grin he turned and walked away.

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SP, I'm curious how Adrian Grenier was a ******, I always got a nice guy vibe from that guy.

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Yeah it's probably unfair of me to say that. I didn't even interact with him. I was trying to remember why I thought he was a tool, and it's actually kind of funny, but I'll warn you right now, it's a pretty unremarkable story.


It was ACL weekend, I don't remember which night. But I'm pretty sure it was Thursday. For whatever reason West 6th was dead. (For anyone wondering who doesn't know, West 6th is the more low key area in downtown Austin) It must've also been the Red River Shootout weekend, hence why all the college kids were gone.

So I spotted him earlier in the night, and kinda kept running into him throughout the evening. I wasn't following him around or anything, West 6th just isn't that big. I kept looking at him, but I assure you, it wasn't because Aquaman was in the bar, it was because he was with seriously the hottest chick I have ever seen. This girl was on another level. Had to be some kind of model, but with a phenomenal figure to boot... He also had three friends with him.

So once 2:00 am rolled around, me and my friend I was with went to get tacos at my favorite spot. Sure enough, Queens Boulevard is getting tacos there as well. From what I had seen in the night, nobody had said a word to him. I'm sure someone approached him, but Austin has always seemed kind of oblivious to celebrities, and it's not like he's a huge star.

So we're all kind of standing around and for the most part it's really just me and my friend, and his crew. His three bros were between us, although I don't know if that was intentional. If he hadn't been with his girl (and he was definitely focused on her) I probably would've just said, "Hey man, love Entourage, looking forward to the movie. Hope you enjoy your visit to Austin" but I didn't want to bug him, so I didn't say anything.

His boys however, were being real loud and absolutely bro-tastic. Nothing wrong with that, but it was then I started to notice the irony of the situation. All of these guys literally looked exactly like E. They were all tiny, incredibly average looking Joe's in their low to mid 30's, wearing button downs untucked with their sleeves rolled up... all just like Eric. And one had on a hat like Turtle. It was literally like watching Entourage come to life. Vinnie is over chatting up the model, and his bros were just chilling on the side. Me and my friend started laughing after we pointed it out.

I started talking to one of the guys and he was such a tool. I said something like, "So you guys here for ACL I'm guessing?" and he kinda turns and gives me this look thats hard to describe... Like he was just waiting for me to talk to him, because he's with Adrian Grenier. He wasn't rude, but he acted like he was doing us a favor by talking to us, all because of who he was with. We visited for a bit, and he made some comment along the lines of, "yeah bro, that's how Adrian Grenier rolls" and just the way he emphasized his name... It's hard to put in words, but it was all very eye-rolling.

And that was pretty much it. For all I know, Vinnie may be the coolest guy on the planet, so I probably shouldn't have said that, but I think most would've thought the same had they been there.


TLDR Version:
Vinnie Chase in Austin with insanely hot girl and his three bros
Three bros are exactly like his fictional crew from the show... it was funny and surreal
Three bros seemed pretty ******y upon conversation
Vinnie banged that chick and I am jealous
OHHHHHHHHH YEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH

Add this one to the list...

Just got back from making copies of the keys for our new office. The closest key place I could find was a key stand at The Grove (the mall in LA), but I had no exact location, so I ended up wondering around the Farmers Market area next to the parking lot. The Farmers Market at The Grove is this super popular area with all kinds of restaurants and food stands and what not, and it's always crazy busy. Anyway, I ended up in a weird, dark corner of this place looking for the damn key stand - not a lot of people around - and all the sudden DAVE FRANCO appears out from around this dark corner, completely flustered. His attire: white t-shirt, spandex shorts, barefoot, holding black dress shoes. That's it. He scoots past me, I do a double take, then all the sudden a paparazzi appears from around the same corner, in pursuit. For the life of me, I cannot figure out the chain of events that led to that situation.

Hollywood is weird as hell.

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I will post my Ken Marino/Party Down crew story this weekend which is pretty damn funny

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My bad... hopefully I haven't oversold it. I'll apologize in advance for the length...


First off, if you've never watched Party Down, stop reading and go watch it right now. It's only 20 episodes and it's absolutely hilarious.


So I've mentioned this several times on the board about the event for the show I went to in Austin. It was a two day affair highlighted by a 10 hour marathon of every episode along with a Q&A with the entire cast (well almost) and a meet and greet afterward.

It actually started on Friday night at The Highball which is a really cool bowling alley/bar that has this awesome 60's motif. It looks like a place where Don Draper and Roger Sterling would grab drinks... They have a private area which had an awesome cover band playing and everyone was really into it. The whole cast was there partying it up (or down); Ken Marino, Adam Scott, Lizzy Caplan, Ryan Hansen, Martin Starr, Megan Mullally... it was a genuinely great time.

I've never been much to get starstruck or to bother celebrities, even if they are people I really like. It just feels weird, but my friend I was with really didn't want to go home empty handed. The crowd was obviously very enthusiastic but also very respectful. It was probably only about 150 people or so... We ended up talking to Martin Starr and Ryan Hansen that night.

Martin Starr acts just like he does in everything you've ever seen him in. Snarky and sarcastic, but really funny and not mean spirited about it. He took a picture with my friend and made this great face where he looks so uncomfortable... but it was really just for show. It's a funny picture.

Ryan Hansen then approached both me and my friend, stuck out his hand and said, "Hey guys I'm Ryan." We visited with him for a few minutes and I have to say, he is absolutely the nicest guy you'll ever meet. I know he's not a big star or anything, but he was just so approachable and seemed like he was genuinely stoked to be there. It was something I really appreciated, and I've always rooted for him ever since.

I guess this wrapped up around 11, so naturally we went downtown afterwards despite having an all day marathon starting at 10 the next morning. We were only supposed to go out for a bit, but of course we ended up coming home at 3.


So the next day, I'm just beyond hungover... I don't want to even go but my buddy makes me. I honestly thought I was going to puke for the first hour or two, but I sucked it up and got to feeling a little better after eating something.

About half way through the showing they took a break and brought everybody out. For the most part every one was really enthusiastic. Couple of notes: Adam Scott is the tiniest guy on the planet. Lizzy Caplan is gorgeous. Megan Mullaly is really funny. And Ken Marino is a hurricane of energy. He was going nuts and the crowd was loving it... At one point the moderator brought up Megan Mullally's husband, who is of course the one and only Nick Offerman. Naturally everyone went crazy at his mention, so she said, "Well why don't you guys say hey to him? He's right up there in the balcony."

Everyone turns around to see the one and only, Ron ****ing Swanson, bending over the ledge mooning the entire theater with his giant, white, American ass... I have never heard louder cheering then at that moment...


Once the viewing was over we headed over to the Stephen F. Hotel for a meet and greet in their bar... Now, If there was anything I was disappointed in, it had to be Adam Scott and Lizzy Caplan... Once the cast arrived, those two along with Martin Starr and some of their friends/handlers went into this one section that was kind of tucked away making it hard to access them. I guess you could go visit with them if you really wanted to, but it would've been pretty awkward. They really never showed any interest in visiting with fans. Ryan Hansen had to fly out after the questionnaire because his wife was pregnant.

Megan Mullally and Nick Offerman spent most of the time in the hallway where they had a line going with pictures to take with them. Basically everyone wanted to meet the Pride of Pawnee, and I wasn't about to miss out on that opportunity. They were both extremely nice and Nick gave me the heartiest handshake ever. I felt hairs growing on my chest afterwards... I told him how much I loved Parks and Rec and his character, and he turned slowly... looked me directly in my eyes... and gave me the most heartfelt and moving "Thank you" I've ever received. It was like he was cleansing my soul...


Now I want to once again bring up that I started this day hungover beyond all regard. And as most of you know, the Alamo Drafthouse serves alcohol... Well this event was ten hours long. So you guys do the math... By the time of the meet and greet, I am absolutely hammered... Don't get me wrong, I'm feeling great, but I am flat out bombed at this point.

So that brings me to Ken Marino... Me and my friend spent most of the night chatting with two other bros we met, and we're all just having a great time discussing the show and movies. We all voiced our disappointment on Lizzy and Adam, but also how overall everyone seemed great and they all enjoyed being there.

Well out of nowhere Ken Marino just appears out of thin air in our group. Seriously it was like he jumped up from the floor ala Jean Ralphio... He is just the life of the party and we're all cheesing from ear to ear talking to him. He was so enthusiastic and actually asking us questions...

I asked him if they were going to do the Wet Hot American Summer sequel and he told me, "Man we are trying so hard. I promise you we're all doing our best to make it happen." So cool looking back and knowing it came true. I mentioned that I loved him in the movie Diggers which I know he wrote. He seemed genuinely moved and appreciative.

After about 10 minutes he moved on to go talk to other people. I noticed he was totally working the room, going around to every single person and making sure they had a great time. I seriously cannot stress how cool that was of him and how great a guy he is. Adam and Lizzy are sitting over in the corner making no effort to visit with obviously hardcore fans of theirs, and here's Ken Marino acting like he's hosting the party.


Well after he left, I've got the biggest smile on my face and I look at the other three guys and say, "Man that was awesome!" ...but I notice they are all looking at me with these kind of **** eating grins of disbelief...

"What? Why are yall looking at me like that?" I ask my friend... only to have him reply,

"Dude... you just pushed Ken Marino."



And he was right... I was so hammered and ecstatic, I didn't even notice. But when he first popped up and caught us all off guard with his energy, I screamed at the top of my lungs, "KEN!"

...and I freaking shoved him.


No exaggeration. This is exactly what it looked like:




My jaw dropped, and I was mortified. The other guys were all having a great laugh at my sudden realization and obvious discomfort. Clearly it didn't bother him... the guy was bouncing around like crazy and he talked to us for 10 minutes after I did it. But still, I could not believe that I actually put my hands on a celebrity.

They kept telling me not to worry about it, but I couldn't help but be embarrassed. But wouldn't you know it, a few minutes later, good guy Ken comes up to us again.

He's just chatting away in that same affable manner, and I'm not saying a word. Finally, in front of everyone I stutter meekly, "Ken, I am so, so sorry. I've had a lot to drink today, and I just realized... I pushed you when you came up to us the first time." He just barrel laughed it off and said, "No worries my man. I'd have done the same thing." It really did make me feel so much better.

Still til this day, whenever he shows up on a show or a movie, my buddy will text me and say, "Hey remember when you shoved Ken Marino?"

All in all it was a really fun experience, and I will always be a Ken Marino fan for as long as I live.


TLDR:

Two day Party Down event in Austin
Visit with most of the cast and also Ron Swanson himself
Saturday event is like 12 hours long
I drank for 12 hours
Ken Marino says hey
I shove Ken Marino
I'm embarrassed
Ken don't care
Ken is awesome
Wet Hot American Summer: First Day of Camp debuts 4 years later on Netflix

Ha, I loved this so much. We need to just collect a bunch of celebrity stories from anyone and everyone and have you go around telling them, just like this, ala Kevin Smith. Could make a lot of money. Such a great rundown.

Had a good one this weekend...

One of my best friends / producing partners got married in Palm Springs this weekend. It was outdoors, nearly 100 degrees, and just before the ceremony I was walking back to the entrance to get another glass of water when I did a double take and walked past Ashley Greene. I knew she wasn't friends with the groom, but his now sister-in-law is an assistant to a famous stylist who dresses a ton celebrities so I figured maybe that was the connection. Still, after the ceremony I congratulated my buddy and then immediately asked, "Now tell me... why the hell is Ashley Green at your wedding?" He said his wife's hair stylist had his date cancel last minute (he's gay), so he asked if he could bring Ashley, one of his clients, and she agreed to come for whatever reason.

Long story short, post-after-party a group of us went back to the hotel, went to one our friend's rooms to order a bunch of food, did just that, then I left to go to the front desk to get more alcohol, and when I opened the door, there was Ashley and her hairstylist in the hot tub, just on the other side of the gate. Our table was next to hers at the wedding, so we had casually chatted with her a bit earlier, and I felt comfortable asking how the water was. Next thing I know they're telling me to join them (and not in a flirty way - she was just super friendly and mentioned her boyfriend at least a dozen times throughout the night). Anyway, I went a got my swimsuit / alcohol, joined them, shared our food with her, and a couple of my friends ended up joining as well. Talked about a ton of random stuff; food, house-buying, her new show on DirecTV, and The Martian (she was dying to see it, had read the script and auditioned, but obviously didn't get the part (the one that went to Kate Mara)). All in all, I ended up hanging out in the hot tub with her 'til 2 AM when the concierge finally kicked us out.

I wish I could say the story continued from there, but that was about it. Again, I took the casual boyfriend name-dropping all night as her saying, "I'm having fun hanging out in the hot tub, but this is as far as it's going to go," so I didn't press (which I will no doubt still get sh*t for on here, I'm sure). Still, overall, it was a super fun night and she was incredibly nice. No pretentious actress BS and definitely didn't act as if she was hot stuff. Just completely normal and down to earth.

My Palm Springs story is much more lame.

I got drunk at the hotel pool with the cast of Canadian version of jersey shore.

Dude... Ashley Greene is in my top 5 hottest women on the planet.


I've watched two god awful movies before just because she was in them. And I'm not even talking about Twilight.

You sat in a hot tub with her... That's so awesome.

Just booked our flights/lodging for Sundance in January. Five days, four nights. Oil & Cattle will be meeting with every producer/executive/agent in town. Yes, it's a massive film festival, but it's also a place where meeting after meetings takes place, all within a couple of square miles. What can take weeks in LA you can get done in days at Sundance.

And with those meetings come the parties. And with those parties come the celebs. Basically, all of Hollywood goes to Park City, Utah for the week, and things get pretty crazy.

If I don't come back with at least five epic stories, I will have failed you guys miserably.

nm

This is easily the most successful/best thread derailment of all time.