Ha ha, Welch - as soon as I saw the thread I knew you would find it

"Hey kids, you wouldn't happen to have a cup of warm water would you?"

"One half teaspoon for fast effective relief."

great thread

You know why I like you Harry? Because you're a regular guy. Yep. And thats why I want you to stay regular. One half teaspoon for fast, effective relief.

its the delivery of this line which makes it great

I still love that crazy laugh Jim Carrey does on the small motor bike.

I'll be at the bar...putting out the vibe.

Lloyd: I sold some stuff...a pack of baseball cards, a sack of marbles, *cough* petey.

Harry: PETEY! You sold my dead bird to a blind kid? Petey didnt even have a head!!

Lloyd: Harry, I took care of it...

ttt

Harry! your hands are freezing!

Dang ,welch, you stole mine. That line is classic.

Harry: Look at the fun bags on that hose hound.
Lloyd: I'd like to eat her liver with some farver beans and a nice bottle of Chianti.

quote:

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"That John Denver is full of s***, man. "

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love this one

Best comedy of ALL time.

This scene cracks me up every time. Love the mexican family.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G5f_gbzo4Q0

Lloyd- That's a beautiful accent, New Jersey?
Girl- Austria
Lloyd- Austria eh? Good'day mate, put another shrimp on the babe.
Girl- Let's not.

Greatness.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wykhY321nnw&feature=related

Harry: "What's her last name."
Lloyd: "S........Swarm, Swammi, Swan...Swanson?"
Harry: "Look on the luggage."
Lloyd: "Oh, here it is! 'Samsonite' I was WAY off!"




Harry: "I can't feel my hands...they're n-n-numb."
Lloyd: "Here, have one of my pairs of gloves. My hands are getting sweaty."
Harry: "You've had an extra pair of gloves this whole time?!?!"
Lloyd: "Yeah! It's the Rockies..."

yeah..we called it a bullsh@t!

not a quote, but when he pegs her with the snowball, that's probably the funniest part of the movie

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wbDiujuv6rQ&feature=related

Harry: Lloyd, I can't feel my fingers, they're numb!
Lloyd: Oh well here, take this extra pair of gloves, my hands are starting to get a little sweaty.
Harry: Extra gloves? You've had extra gloves this whole time?
Lloyd: Uh yea, we are in the Rocky's. Jeez!

Harry, your hands are freeeeeezing!

Why donchya eat up and we'll tell ya?

"I got worms..."

Gasman: "Lets trash the place and send them a lil message"

Girl: "The guy's got worms in his living room... I don't think he's gonna get that message"

"Excuse me sir, have you heard the concept of other people... me being that in regards to the phone"

"Get off the pho-"

"We have plenty of towels, thanks"

Lloyd: "Harry! You're alive!"
Harry: "Yeah, the FBI gave me this bullet-proof vest."
Lloyd: "What if he shot you in the face?"
Harry: "What if he shot me in the face?"
FBI Guy: "That was a risk we were willing to take."

"GENIUS!! That was sheer genius, Lloyd. How on earth did you come up with a scam like that?!"
"Saw it in a movie once..."
"So what? Some guy dupes a guy into paying for his tab and then he gets away scot free?"
"No no....in the movie they catch up to him a half mile down the road and slit his throat!! It was a good one!"

Harry: But he blamed me. You heard him. Those were his last words.

Great scene, best subtle line in the movie.

Harry: Why would she meet you in a bar at ten in the morning?
Lloyd: I just figured she was a raging alcoholic.

Harry: Where's the booze?
Lloyd: I got robbed by a sweet old lady on a motorized cart. I didn't even see it coming.

Lloyd: Well, can you do me a favor and watch my stuff here while I go break a dollar?
Elderly woman: Of course.
Lloyd: Thanks. Hey, I guess they're right. Senior citizens, although slow and dangerous behind the wheel, can still serve a purpose. I'll be right back. Don't you go dying on me!

Lloyd: The first time I set eyes on Mary Swanson, I just got that old fashioned romantic feeling where I'd do anything to bone her.

"You know what really chaps my ass though? I spent my life savings turning my van into a dog. The alarm alone cost me two hundred."
"Hey, chicks love it. Its the shaggin' wagon."



Harry: Where did you get those?
Lloyd: I bought them when we filled up.
Harry: We are supposed to talk about all expenditures Lloyd; we are on a very tight budget.
Lloyd: This didn't come out of our travel fund.
Harry: Oh.
Lloyd: Yeah, I was able to raise 25 extra bucks before we left.
Harry: Where did you get 25 extra becks?
Lloyd: I sold some stuff, to Billy in 4-C.
Harry: The blind kid?
Lloyd: Yeah, ha ha! Yeah.
Harry: What did you sell him Lloyd?
Lloyd: Stuff.
Harry: What kinda stuff?
Lloyd: I don't know, a few baseball cards, a sack of marbles,
[cough]
Lloyd: Petey.
Harry: Petey? You sold my dead bird to a blind kid? Lloyd! Petey didn't even have a head!
Lloyd: Harry, I took care of it...
Billy: Pretty bird, yeah, can you say pretty bird? Pretty bird, yeah pretty bird... Polly want a cracker?

[This message has been edited by willowratio (edited 8/25/2008 11:30p).]

:"What are the chances of a guy like you and a girl like me hooking up"

I can't believe I didn't think of this line earlier. It's my favorite line and I still use it to this day:

Lloyd: "What's your 'soup du jour'?"
Waitress: "It's the soup of the day."
Lloyd: "Mmmmmm....that sounds good. I'll have that."

"I can't stop going once I'm started... IT STINGS!"