[After Harry shoots a perfect semi-circle around gunman]

Lloyd: "Harry! You're alive! And you're a horrible shot."

I use that line often when playing Halo with friends.

"Tic-Tac sir?"

Lloyd: Mock
Harry: Yeah
Lloyd: Ing
Harry: Yeah
Lloyd: BIRD
Harry: yeah
Llyod: yeah
Harry: Yeah

Lloyd: The first time I set eyes on Mary Swanson, I just got that old fashioned romantic feeling where I'd do anything to bone her.
Harry: That's a special feeling, Lloyd.
---

Lloyd: What's going on, Harry? Your name is "Harry", isn't it?
Harry: Yeah, she grabbed down at the lobby, explained what was up, then they slapped this bullet proof vest on me and gave me a gun.
Harry: But what if he shot you in the face?
Harry: [to detective] What if he shot me in the face?
Beth: That's a risk we were willing to take.

Harry: It gets worse, Lloyd. Y'know my parakeet Petey?
Lloyd: Yeah?
Harry: He's dead.
Lloyd: Oh man…I'm sorry…what happened?
Harry: His head fell off.
Lloyd: His head fell off?
Harry: Yeah, he was pretty old.

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Lloyd: I desparately want to make love to a schoolboy.

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One other thing, the line is "So you're tellin' me there's a chance". This is one of the most referenced lines of the movie in everyday conversation and on message boards, but it's misquoted ("so you're saying there's a chance" about 95% of the time. Sorry, just one of my pet peeves.

"That's as good as money sir, those are IOU's. Here's one for a car, 250-thou...might wanna hold to that one."

Don't remember the exact line but it's when Lloyd pulls out the extra pair of gloves he had while his friend's hands were freezing off.

"Duh it's the Rockies!"

Harry: I can't believe we drove around all day, and there's not a single job in this town. There is nothing, nada, zip!
Lloyd: Yeah! Unless you wanna work forty hours a week.
--------

Lloyd: Well suck me sideways!
--------

Lloyd: I'll bet you twenty dollars I can get you gambling before the day is out!
Harry: No!
Lloyd: I'll give you three to one odds.
Harry: No.
Lloyd: Five to one.
Harry: No.
Lloyd: Ten to one?
Harry: You're on!
Lloyd: I'm gonna get ya!
Harry: Nu uh!
Lloyd: I don't know how but I'm gonna get ya.

"First in Sight, Ready to Fight"

Lloyd: You're it.
Harry: You're it.
Lloyd: You're it, quitsies!
Harry: Anti-quitsies, you're it, quitsies, no anti-quitsies, no startsies!
Lloyd: You can't do that!
Harry: Can too!
Lloyd: Cannot, stamp it!
Harry: Can too, double stamp it, no erasies!
Lloyd: Cannot, triple stamp, no erasies, Touch blue make it true.
Harry: No, you can't do that... you can't triple stamp a double stamp, you can't triple stamp a double stamp! Lloyd!
Lloyd: [hands over ears] LA LA LA LA LA LA!
Harry: LLOYD! LLOYD! LLOYD!



"First in Sight, Ready to Fight"

quote:

---

One other thing, the line is "So you're tellin' me there's a chance". This is one of the most referenced lines of the movie in everyday conversation and on message boards, but it's misquoted ("so you're saying there's a chance" about 95% of the time.

---

I had no idea.

Harry: Yeah I called her up, she gave me a bunch of crap about me not listening to her, or something, I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.

I'm surprised I haven't seen this one here (unless I missed it)

Harry: According to the map we've only gone 4 inches.

"We're gonna need a bigger map."

I'm a big fan of the part right after "so your telling me there's a chance."

...

Nicholas (the bad guy) knocks on the door.

Lloyd creaks the door: We have enough towels, thanks.
Nicholas (points gun): Aren't going to let me in? I believe you have something that belongs to me.
Lloyd: I'm sorry Mr Samsonite, you can have you briefcase back.

Had a legit Dumb and Dumber quoting expeirience with the roomate the other day. He walks in the door all pissed off because he was working out at the rec (he also works at the rec) and one of his employee friends walked up to him and said that he was actually scheduled to be working at that time. He had just gotten this job and he told me this is the second time that this has happened already and that he'd probably get fired.

So of course I told him "Man you are one pathetic loser!" Then he walked out the door and walked back in as if nothing had happened and goes

"...Fell off the jetway again."

It was probably one of those moments where you would have had to have been there to appreciate it in all it's glory but it was fooking hillarious.

Bikini Babes: Hey guys. We are on a national bikin tour and looking for 2 oil boys to grease us up before each competition.

Harry: You are in luck. Theres a town about 3 miles that way. I'm sure you'll find a couple guys there.

(A few seconds later)

Lloyd: You idiot. DO YOU REALIZE WHAT YOU'VE DONE? WAIT, WAIT. (runs to catch up to the bus)

Lloyd: You have to excuse my friend, he's a little slow. The town is back THAT way.

"You feel like you're running at an incredible rate Harry."

This was in a deleted scene...but there is a scene in the Gas Station Restroom that had me on the ROFL.

LLOYD: Think of a happy place...Think of a happy place...

Seabass: I got your Happy Place right here (pulls down pants and grabs crotch).