Two of my personal favorites:

#1- from the Monorail episode
Marge: Homer, There's someone here who can help you.
Homer: Is it Batman?
Marge: No, He's a scientist.
Homer: Batman's a scientist.
Marge: It's not Batman!

#2- from the episode about Marge's gambling problem
Homer: The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother! I call him GAMBLOR, and it's time to snatch your mother from his neon claws!

The best of all time, hands down:

Willy's father: "Ach, just like your mother...can't take a punch!"

The ring came off my pudding can.

Use my penknife, my good man!

Remember when your dog ate my gold fish? Then you lied and said I didn't have any gold fish. Then why did I have the bowl Bart? Why did I have the bowl?

"You're not mild-mannered...You're often liquored-up and rude."
-Lisa to Homer in "Pieman" episode

The problem with relationships is communication. Too much communication.
-Homer

"I'm not normally a religious man, but if you're up there, save me, Superman!" - Homer

Homer: "Kids, there's three ways to do things: The right way, the wrong way, and the Max Power way!"
Bart: "Isn't that the wrong way?"
Homer: "Yeah, but faster!"

That's right, Money. Your mother's Money is the only thing that Moneys.

See my vest, see my vest,
Made from real gorilla chest,
Feel this sweater, there's no better,
Than authentic Irish setter.

See this hat, 'twas my cat,
My evening wear - vampire bat,
These white slippers are albino
African endangered rhino.

Grizzly bear underwear,
Turtles' necks, I've got my share,
Beret of poodle, on my noodle
It shall rest,

Try my red robin suit,
It comes one breast or two,
See my vest, see my vest,
See my vest.

Like my loafers? Former gophers -
It was that or skin my chauffeurs,
But a greyhound fur tuxedo
Would be best,

So let's prepare these dogs,
Mrs. Potts: Kill two for matching clogs,
Burns: See my vest, see my vest,
Oh please, won't you see my vest

Kids: Dad, we did something really aweful.
Homer: Did you wreck the car?
Kids: no
Homer: Did you raise the dead?
Kids: YES!
Homer: But the car's ok?

[This message has been edited by YoureNotTheTime (edited 9/14/2006 4:34p).]

Comic book guy: A sarcasm detector! That’s a really useful invention!


And I say, "Hey, Lama!
"How about a little something, you know, for the effort?"
And he says, "There won't be any money...but when you die, on your deathbed...you will receive total consciousness."
So I've got that going for me...
which is nice.

"My retirement grease!" - Groundskeeper Willy

"My eyes! The goggles do nothing!" - Ranier Wolfcastle

"I'm the Magical Man from Happy-Land, in a gumdrop house on Lollipop Lane! Oh, by the way, I was being sarcastic." - Homer



I could go for days.

Lisa needs braces

Ah, you done a grand job laddy. Now you know what you have to do. Burn the house down. BURN THEM ALL!

lisa: dad, what's a muppet?

homer: well, it's not quite a mop, and it's not quite a puppet, but man.....hehehe....so to answer your question i dunno

you mean the hot pants???

I ... the hot pants

"Well, he's kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace "accidentally" with 'repeatedly,' and replace 'dog' with 'son.'" - Lionel Hutz

We can either stand here like the French, or we can do something about it.
-Marge

"I bent my Wookie!"

and who could forget:

"Beer. The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems."

All right, brain. You don't like me and I don't like you, but let's just do this and I can get back to killing you with beer.

Marge: Homer, the plant called. They said if you don't show up tomorrow don't bother showing up on Monday.
Homer: Woo-hoo. Four-day weekend.

- "Kids, I dont want to alarm you, but there may be a Boogey Man or Boogey Men in the house!" - Homer

- Every line from the Frank Grimes episode

[This message has been edited by Head Ninja In Charge (edited 9/14/2006 4:49p).]

Homer: Here's to alcohol, the cause of—and solution to—all life's problems.

it says i choo-choo-choose you, and there's a picture of a train...that's funny

this tastes like burning

"And did you know that the hole's only natural enemy is the pile??"

Homer: I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T! I mean, S-M-A-R-T!

Lisa: Bart, do you realise what this means? The next time we fall asleep we could die! Grandpa: Ehhh, welcome to my world.

Homer: Marge, it's 3 AM. Shouldn't you be cooking or something?

Homer: Oh, so they have internet on computers now!

Marge: "Homer, have you been drinking?"

Homer: "No!! Well...10 beers."