This is for those of us who work for large soulless corporations in giant cubicle farms. For the rest of you - shove off.

A team down the way brings in doughnuts. Not our team, not your pastries, we know this. But after a few hours - getting towards lunch - they bought more doughnuts than they're going to eat.

How long do you wait until you avail.ypurself of their doughnuts? My personal point is 10:30 AM. Everyone from that team has had plenty of time to have up to two doughnuts. They probably want help at this point.

Is this too late or too early?

iB4 LOLfat, my au pair hand makes my doughnuts, my private jet delivers my begneots from NOLA every morning, etc.

Dough!

We have a table in our building that once an "event" is considered over, extra food or leftovers goes there and its then up for grabs. Then again our office isn't that big so many of our events are "whole floor" stuff that everyone is invited to.

Gotta give the fatties a second chance after lunch unless they are moved to a shared breakroom.

In this economy? Get 'em as soon as you can.

Does this also apply to breakfast tacos?

As the boss, I ensure all edible products are consumed before anyone I employ can have seconds. I pay you to work, not to get fat. If you want to be a fatass, do that on your own time and at your own expense. I did.

If there is excess, then the budget for social events needs to be reduced significantly or cut entirely due to excess spending by the Karens. And the Karens should be fired for misappropriation of funds and being fat. I ensure no fatass Karens or women work for me.

Ginormus Ag said:

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As the boss, I ensure all edible products are consumed before anyone I employ can have seconds. I pay you to work, not to get fat. If you want to be a fatass, do that on your own time and at your own expense. I did.

If there is excess, then the budget for social events needs to be reduced significantly or cut entirely due to excess spending by the Karens. And the Karens should be fired for misappropriation of funds and being fat. I ensure no fatass Karens or women work for me.

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D- troll

Ginormus Ag said:

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Burdizzo said:

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Does this also apply to breakfast tacos?

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There are no rules or morals when it comes to breakfast tacos. Every man for himself. You better watch your back.

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If you know what's good for you, don't leave the bean and potato ones for me.

1:00 PM. Anyone on their team had a chance to go back for some on their lunch break.

Ryan the Temp said:

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1:00 PM. Anyone on their team had a chance to go back for some on their lunch break.

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That's crazy. Donuts is for breakfast. Ain't nobody want afternoon donuts that been sittin all day. As soon as the team meeting is over any donuts leftover is fair game.


Also, smells LOLfat in here. Grown-ass adults shouldn't be eating donuts.

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How long do you wait until you avail.ypurself of their doughnuts?

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There's no amount of time. You don't just go help yourself to other people's food. At least ask beforehand and let it be known that you're poor, fat, and have so little self control that you have to beg for someone else's stale donut.

While I enjoy a doughnut once or twice a year I could go the rest of my life without eating another one. Top two are strawberry icing with sprinkles and an iced cinnamon twist.

I say take what you want! Fthem!

NoahAg said:

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Ryan the Temp said:

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1:00 PM. Anyone on their team had a chance to go back for some on their lunch break.

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That's crazy. Donuts is for breakfast. Ain't nobody want afternoon donuts that been sittin all day. As soon as the team meeting is over any donuts leftover is fair game.


Also, smells LOLfat in here. Grown-ass adults shouldn't be eating donuts.

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I mean hey, if no one's looking, go for it. Also, I don't eat donuts.

I eat fritters.

2 hr after arrival

Just go look at the donuts, admiring them. Then proceed to cough all over them. After that, they're all yours.

Hill08 said:

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Ginormus Ag said:

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As the boss, I ensure all edible products are consumed before anyone I employ can have seconds. I pay you to work, not to get fat. If you want to be a fatass, do that on your own time and at your own expense. I did.

If there is excess, then the budget for social events needs to be reduced significantly or cut entirely due to excess spending by the Karens. And the Karens should be fired for misappropriation of funds and being fat. I ensure no fatass Karens or women work for me.

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D- troll

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WOO HOO! Better grade than I usually get!

Ginormus Ag said:

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Burdizzo said:

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Does this also apply to breakfast tacos?

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There are no rules or morals when it comes to breakfast tacos. Every man for himself. You better watch your back.

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I'll cut you over a breakfast taco.

IIIHorn said:

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Dough!

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My eyes glazed over as I read that...

UTExan said:

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IIIHorn said:

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Dough!

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My eyes glazed over as I read that...

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He always works himself into a hole somehow.

This could lead to a highly leavened situation.

And today they have BAGELS! I have resisted so far.

Ginormus Ag said:

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As the boss, I ensure all edible products are consumed before anyone I employ can have seconds. I pay you to work, not to get fat. If you want to be a fatass, do that on your own time and at your own expense. I did.

If there is excess, then the budget for social events needs to be reduced significantly or cut entirely due to excess spending by the Karens. And the Karens should be fired for misappropriation of funds and being fat. I ensure no fatass Karens or women work for me.

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Username checks out

fc2112 said:

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And today they have BAGELS! I have resisted so far.

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OP reminds me of this reddit classic.

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What I thought would be a total non issue has ballooned into a huge problem and I'm up at 7:05 AM dealing with it. I figured while I wait for a text, I could post here to see if what I did was really that bad.
I'm a big fat ass, there's no way around it. I love to eat which probably borders on addiction but I figure since I'm only hurting myself it's probably better to just live my life. I have some great friends although there is no doubt I'm the "harmless, funny token fat guy" of the otherwise pretty good looking group. I guess that sets the stage enough.

Last night my friend hosted UFC and I was invited. He got a 6 foot party sub. I also brought homemade wings that are sort of my specialty. Well of course people flocked to the food and I had basically one serving of the sandwich but people devoured my wings and I didn't get to have a single one. Which is totally fine that's why I brought them but maybe an hour later I was starving. I kept eyeing the sandwich and I'd say there was about 3 feet of it left. I waited an hour, then another half hour and no one had touched it (but they were still munching on chips, pretzels and what not). So I was like screw it...I took about half of what was left and ate it. Then the last half sat for another 10-15 minutes and no one said anything so ate the rest.

Well to be sure as I was swallowing the last bite the host's girlfriend asked where the sandwich was. Like I was the guilty party pretty much everyone pointed at me. I guess they'd noticed me eating the sandwich. She was furious and said that I was an incredible pig and that I had been super selfish to eat 3 feet of a sandwich. I felt so bad I tried to explain to her that I really did wait over an hour and thought people had lost interest. I also tried to explain how everyone had ate my wings and she said something along the lines of "you brought them to share Alan, if someone had eaten over half by themselves that's not ****ing sharing is it?"

I offered to order pizza or even go get subways and she said that it was a pathetic offer because the party sub had been from a local shop owned by her friends. I said I was sorry but the night was so tense from then on out.

I woke up this morning to several texts from my twin sisters (the host's girlfriend's best friends) saying that I had to get my **** under control and that everyone is really mad at me and that I embarrassed myself last night. I tried to explain to them what my mindset had been and they haven't responded.
Was I the ******* for eating that much of the sandwich last night?

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Slicer97 said:

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Ginormus Ag said:

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Burdizzo said:

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Does this also apply to breakfast tacos?

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There are no rules or morals when it comes to breakfast tacos. Every man for himself. You better watch your back.

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I'll cut you over a breakfast taco.

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Username checks out!

The proper time to wait is whatever it takes to be able to sneak in and get what you want without being caught. Take extras in case you only get one shot at them. Don't be ashamed, you are doing God's work saving the cubapotomi from overeating.

Don't touch another team's food unless you're invited to or it gets relocated to a community/kitchen area.

I think I'll go get a doughnut right now. A maple one.

agnerd said:

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Don't touch another team's food unless you're invited to or it gets relocated to a community/kitchen area.

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Or you ask permission from someone on the team and they say yes.

Or or you can do it when no one is watching

VP at Pierce and Pierce said:

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While I enjoy a doughnut once or twice a year I could go the rest of my life without eating another one. Top two are strawberry icing with sprinkles and an iced cinnamon twist.

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I had some while vacationing the Oregon coast earlier this year that were slap yo momma good

If you can eat 3feet of sandwich…… That's Awesome!!!

There's no time on the donuts…or bagels…. Maybe on Tacos or Chick fil a breakfast sandwiches……. The key is to make friends with someone from that side who invites you over or brings you the fresh stuff…. Reciprocate of course!!