Airplane Etiquette

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713nervy
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3:08p, 10/26/24
AG
1. Window seat has control of the window shade.

2. Aisle seat has the extra room and freedom of the aisle.

3. Middle seat gets the armrests.

4. Don't touch your neighbors without permission, if you can help it.

5. Don't bring smelly food and eat it on the plane. If it can be smelled beyond your 2-3 seated row + the seat in front of you, it's too smelly.

6. Wear deodorant or don't, just don't be smelly, yourself.

7. If someone asks you to switch seats, you can say no. It's YOUR seat; you decide.

8. Make potty before getting on the plane. Try even if you don't think you have to go.

9. Don't crowd the gate before your group has been called to board. Make it clear by standing far enough away that you're not in line.

10. When deplaning, wait to step into the aisle until the row in front of you has started moving to exit the plane. (At a minimum, honor the spirit of this by deplaning row by row.)

11. Do not board a plane if you are sick and you may still be contagious. Wear a mask if you have a cough.

12. Read your seat mate - if they have headphones in, they aren't interested in talking to you. If they don't, they are still probably not interested in talking to you.

13. Watch things on your phone or listen to music while wearing headphones. Playing it out loud makes you an ******* .

14. NO FARTING!

15. At baggage claim, stand back from the carousel until you have eyes on your bag and it's 10 seconds from rounding where you're standing.



Did I miss anything?
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Prophet00
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4:05p, 10/26/24
AG
If I am in the aisle seat, I'll sometimes get up when we reach the gate because my back is killing me and I'm 6'5". But I don't try to walk ahead, that drives me crazy. Like, we're all sitting here for awhile, trying to get out 3 people sooner isn't going to mean much.
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Jack Cheese
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4:13p, 10/26/24
AG
But few things are as satisfying as farting at altitude. My farts are aromatically pleasing.
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Tree Hugger
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4:28p, 10/26/24
AG
Disagree with #3, elbows go inside the armrests.

On Monday the middle seat guy had his elbows over the armrest and was poking me in the side, he was doing the same to the guy on the window, both of us called him out on it.
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ToddyHill
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In reply to 713nervy • 4:31p, 10/26/24
AG
Quote:
Did I miss anything?
15. After you've received a complimentary upgrade (but your wife has not), it's OK to offer your first class seat to the individual sitting next to your wife in coach.
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713nervy
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In reply to Tree Hugger • 6:03p, 10/26/24
AG
Tree Hugger said:
Disagree with #3, elbows go inside the armrests.

On Monday the middle seat guy had his elbows over the armrest and was poking me in the side, he was doing the same to the guy on the window, both of us called him out on it.

Ah, see, but that breaks rule 4 - no touching your neighbors. Middle gets the armrests but they still gotta keep within the rules.
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superunknown
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In reply to 713nervy • 6:27p, 10/26/24
AG
713nervy said:
1. Window seat has control of the window shade.

2. Aisle seat has the extra room and freedom of the aisle.

3. Middle seat gets the armrests.

4. Don't touch your neighbors without permission, if you can help it.

5. Don't bring smelly food and eat it on the plane. If it can be smelled beyond your 2-3 seated row + the seat in front of you, it's too smelly.

6. Wear deodorant or don't, just don't be smelly, yourself.

7. If someone asks you to switch seats, you can say no. It's YOUR seat; you decide.

8. Make potty before getting on the plane. Try even if you don't think you have to go.

9. Don't crowd the gate before your group has been called to board. Make it clear by standing far enough away that you're not in line.

10. When deplaning, wait to step into the aisle until the row in front of you has started moving to exit the plane.

11. Do not board a plane if you are sick and you may still be contagious.

12. Read your seat mate - if they have headphones in, they aren't interested in talking to you. If they don't, they are still probably not interested in talking to you.

13. Watch things on your phone or listen to music while wearing headphones. Playing it out loud makes you an ******* .

14. NO FARTING!


Did I miss anything?


Learn how to properly stow your luggage in the overhead compartment. It varies by make and model but people (who are dumb) love to gently place 2 carry-ons flat down, head to toe style and then complain there's no more room when you could easily fit 2 or more bags up there, assuming it's a mainline sized plane.

This rule is more difficult on a CRJ plane or the smaller ERJs. Your fellow travelers would like to think there are no rules but they are wrong and cannot be trusted. Do not make eye contact but protect your (and your luggage's) ground.

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MonkeyKnifeFighter
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In reply to 713nervy • 7:25p, 10/26/24
713nervy said:
5. Don't bring smelly food and eat it on the plane. If it can be smelled beyond your 2-3 seated row + the seat in front of you, it's too smelly.
I've never understood people bringing ANY cooked food onto the plane. So they order it in the terminal, then sit with it where we can all smell it waiting for boarding, then they board with it to sit and sit and sit and sit, and then they finally open it once the plane levels off. There's no way it's good. At best it's lukewarm.

Just eat it at the terminal and be done with it.
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713nervy
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In reply to MonkeyKnifeFighter • 8:13p, 10/26/24
AG
I had a 50 minute connection earlier and needed to get clear to the other side of the terminal. If I was going to eat, it needed to be on the go. So I grabbed Chick-fil-a to go, walked to my gate, then boarded the plane immediarely.
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Ghost of Bisbee
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In reply to 713nervy • 11:49p, 10/26/24
AG
Yep, if you take your shoes off, keep socks on.

I had two flights in August, both instances, where I had to deal with someone else's bare feet. One of em was a middle seater who crossed his legs so the bare feet were 2 inches from my knee. Offensive as ****

Forcing others to deal with your bare feet is an abomination
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TAMUallen
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In reply to Ghost of Bisbee • 12:17a, 10/27/24
AG
Don't take your shoes off. If it's a long long flight, bring some house slippers if you don't like shoes on that long
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Ryan the Temp
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In reply to superunknown • 12:39a, 10/27/24
AG
superunknown said:

Learn how to properly stow your luggage in the overhead compartment. It varies by make and model but people (who are dumb) love to gently place 2 carry-ons flat down, head to toe style and then complain there's no more room when you could easily fit 2 or more bags up there, assuming it's a mainline sized plane.

This rule is more difficult on a CRJ plane or the smaller ERJs. Your fellow travelers would like to think there are no rules but they are wrong and cannot be trusted. Do not make eye contact but protect your (and your luggage's) ground.
I'm the guy people love to hate when I fly with one of my trombones. A trombone case usually takes up 1/2 to 2/3 of an overhead bin with a little space in front of it for purses or backpacks. People see me waiting to board and they are already giving me daggers from the eyes.
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FatZilla
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1:40a, 10/27/24
AG
I usually wont nuke my own isle with a fart but i sure as hell will crop dust the main cabin as i walk down it.
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aggiebq03+
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7:33a, 10/27/24
When you lean your seat back and it hits my knees. Please stop pressing the button harder and leaning back harder. The seat can't move through my legs no matter how hard or how often you try.

Don't let your kid play the touchscreen games on the screen attached to the back of my headrest on a 15 hour flight. If you do, there is a special ring in hell designated just for you.

Don't hand your food tray over the top of me, I left my tray table down so it can slide across to the stewardess. That way you don't spill your crap all over me because you are a clumsy dumbass.

If you are sleeping there is no reason for your reading light to be on.

You don't own the window shade when at cruising altitude and all the lights in the plane are off and people are trying to sleep. No one wants to have the sun cause them partial blindness so you can see the top of the clouds.

No, I don't give a crap you have a bad neck and want me to move to a middle seat in another row so you can have this whole row to yourself to lie down. Buy all 3 seats if you medically need a whole row.

Keep your fat inside your own seat. You didn't pay for mine so you don't get any of the space.
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oldschool87
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In reply to 713nervy • 8:59a, 10/27/24
AG
713nervy said:
1. Window seat has control of the window shade.

2. Aisle seat has the extra room and freedom of the aisle.

3. Middle seat gets the armrests.

4. Don't touch your neighbors without permission, if you can help it.

5. Don't bring smelly food and eat it on the plane. If it can be smelled beyond your 2-3 seated row + the seat in front of you, it's too smelly.

6. Wear deodorant or don't, just don't be smelly, yourself.

7. If someone asks you to switch seats, you can say no. It's YOUR seat; you decide.

8. Make potty before getting on the plane. Try even if you don't think you have to go.

9. Don't crowd the gate before your group has been called to board. Make it clear by standing far enough away that you're not in line.

10. When deplaning, wait to step into the aisle until the row in front of you has started moving to exit the plane.

11. Do not board a plane if you are sick and you may still be contagious.

12. Read your seat mate - if they have headphones in, they aren't interested in talking to you. If they don't, they are still probably not interested in talking to you.

13. Watch things on your phone or listen to music while wearing headphones. Playing it out loud makes you an ******* .

14. NO FARTING!


Did I miss anything?


Row 29 is not after row 8!!! Or 9, or wait for it, row 12…. Quit looking at every freaking row number, 29 is not going to just suddenly pop out after row 14…. Put your head down and walk with purpose!!!!!
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Athanasius
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12:06p, 10/27/24
AG
Good, but:

#1- window shades must remain closed after takeoff until landing.
#14- applies to everyone but me
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Milwaukees Best Light
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12:15p, 10/27/24
AG
The day I don't fart on an airplane is my last day. I board a flight in about an hour and I am currently saving them up.
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toucan82
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12:22p, 10/27/24
I can't control what my guts do
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IIIHorn
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10:02p, 10/27/24
15. Relax. Don't be a Karen.



Sorry, Nervy. I failed to include the Smiley.
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Krazykat
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In reply to 713nervy • 11:07p, 10/27/24
AG
713nervy said:
1. Window seat has control of the window shade.

2. Aisle seat has the extra room and freedom of the aisle.

3. Middle seat gets the armrests.

4. Don't touch your neighbors without permission, if you can help it.

5. Don't bring smelly food and eat it on the plane. If it can be smelled beyond your 2-3 seated row + the seat in front of you, it's too smelly.

6. Wear deodorant or don't, just don't be smelly, yourself.

7. If someone asks you to switch seats, you can say no. It's YOUR seat; you decide.

8. Make potty before getting on the plane. Try even if you don't think you have to go.

9. Don't crowd the gate before your group has been called to board. Make it clear by standing far enough away that you're not in line.

10. When deplaning, wait to step into the aisle until the row in front of you has started moving to exit the plane.

11. Do not board a plane if you are sick and you may still be contagious.

12. Read your seat mate - if they have headphones in, they aren't interested in talking to you. If they don't, they are still probably not interested in talking to you.

13. Watch things on your phone or listen to music while wearing headphones. Playing it out loud makes you an ******* .

14. NO FARTING!


Did I miss anything?


Belligerent drunks will be choked out and duct taped to their seat.
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superunknown
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In reply to Ryan the Temp • 11:50p, 10/27/24
AG
No issues with musical instruments. You travel with it and I would assume you know exactly what you're doing with it.

It's the neck roll wearing pillow carrying idiot in dirty sweats I do not trust.
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C@LAg
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In reply to toucan82 • 12:23a, 10/28/24
toucan82 said:
I can't control what my guts do
No to mention that cabin air pressure is generally kept similar to 8000 ft elevation. Not like what is near sea-level.

So your fart pocket consisting of X volume actually INCREASES by the time you get to cruising altitude.

It's gotta go somewhere.
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Leeman
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7:20a, 10/28/24
Crop dusting coach on long flights.
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Philo B 93
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In reply to Ryan the Temp • 7:52a, 10/28/24
Ryan the Temp said:
superunknown said:

Learn how to properly stow your luggage in the overhead compartment. It varies by make and model but people (who are dumb) love to gently place 2 carry-ons flat down, head to toe style and then complain there's no more room when you could easily fit 2 or more bags up there, assuming it's a mainline sized plane.

This rule is more difficult on a CRJ plane or the smaller ERJs. Your fellow travelers would like to think there are no rules but they are wrong and cannot be trusted. Do not make eye contact but protect your (and your luggage's) ground.
I'm the guy people love to hate when I fly with one of my trombones. A trombone case usually takes up 1/2 to 2/3 of an overhead bin with a little space in front of it for purses or backpacks. People see me waiting to board and they are already giving me daggers from the eyes.


Why do you travel with a trombone?
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C@LAg
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In reply to Philo B 93 • 8:00a, 10/28/24
Philo B 93 said:




Why do you travel with a trombone?
why not?

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Ghost91
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In reply to Tree Hugger • 8:03a, 10/28/24
Tree Hugger said:
Disagree with #3, elbows go inside the armrests.

On Monday the middle seat guy had his elbows over the armrest and was poking me in the side, he was doing the same to the guy on the window, both of us called him out on it.


I already apologized right after you guys ganged up on me. Can you please just let it go!
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CDub06
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In reply to 713nervy • 8:06a, 10/28/24
AG
I wish everyone followed these common sense rules.

One of my irritants back at the airport is the people that crowd the baggage carousel. I'll leave space for people to step in front of me to grab their bags in case they come out before me and then some bonehead will come stand directly in front of me while they wait for their bag (which inevitably comes out after mine).

Take a step back, give everyone space to fetch their stuff.
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evestor1
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8:15a, 10/28/24
The food thing is interesting. I try my hardest to sit in the front of the plane whether i get upgraded or pay for it.


The amount of times i've sat beside some nasty 50 year old woman eating Wendy's in business class is astounding. WTF eats Wendys ... or pays 200 dollar premium for a seat and then buys Wendys.


Its always Wendys too. The smell is hardly the worst part. It sounds like wet plastic when being chewed.
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akaggie05
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In reply to CDub06 • 8:41a, 10/28/24
AG
CDub06 said:
I wish everyone followed these common sense rules.

One of my irritants back at the airport is the people that crowd the baggage carousel. I'll leave space for people to step in front of me to grab their bags in case they come out before me and then some bonehead will come stand directly in front of me while they wait for their bag (which inevitably comes out after mine).

Take a step back, give everyone space to fetch their stuff.


Same with the "output" end of the x-ray conveyer belt. We all go through the metal detector in a specific order and the bags are going to come through in the same order. Yet there is always some moron who runs up and stands there blocking everything, as if their bag grew legs and jumped a few places while in the machine.
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Claude!
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In reply to Philo B 93 • 8:51a, 10/28/24
Philo B 93 said:
Ryan the Temp said:
superunknown said:

Learn how to properly stow your luggage in the overhead compartment. It varies by make and model but people (who are dumb) love to gently place 2 carry-ons flat down, head to toe style and then complain there's no more room when you could easily fit 2 or more bags up there, assuming it's a mainline sized plane.

This rule is more difficult on a CRJ plane or the smaller ERJs. Your fellow travelers would like to think there are no rules but they are wrong and cannot be trusted. Do not make eye contact but protect your (and your luggage's) ground.
I'm the guy people love to hate when I fly with one of my trombones. A trombone case usually takes up 1/2 to 2/3 of an overhead bin with a little space in front of it for purses or backpacks. People see me waiting to board and they are already giving me daggers from the eyes.


Why do you travel with a trombone?
You never know when a ska concert is going to break out. Gotta be ready.
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Hill08
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9:18a, 10/28/24
When waiting for your luggage, please stand back until you see your bag vs crowding the area and not allowing people to get their bags
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ac04
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9:21a, 10/28/24
i have had it with these mother****ing snakes on this mother****ing plane
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Ryan the Temp
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In reply to Philo B 93 • 9:28a, 10/28/24
AG
Philo B 93 said:
Ryan the Temp said:
superunknown said:

Learn how to properly stow your luggage in the overhead compartment. It varies by make and model but people (who are dumb) love to gently place 2 carry-ons flat down, head to toe style and then complain there's no more room when you could easily fit 2 or more bags up there, assuming it's a mainline sized plane.

This rule is more difficult on a CRJ plane or the smaller ERJs. Your fellow travelers would like to think there are no rules but they are wrong and cannot be trusted. Do not make eye contact but protect your (and your luggage's) ground.
I'm the guy people love to hate when I fly with one of my trombones. A trombone case usually takes up 1/2 to 2/3 of an overhead bin with a little space in front of it for purses or backpacks. People see me waiting to board and they are already giving me daggers from the eyes.


Why do you travel with a trombone?
I'm a professional musician.
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713nervy
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In reply to Ryan the Temp • 10:25a, 10/28/24
AG
Ryan the Temp said:
Philo B 93 said:
Ryan the Temp said:
superunknown said:

Learn how to properly stow your luggage in the overhead compartment. It varies by make and model but people (who are dumb) love to gently place 2 carry-ons flat down, head to toe style and then complain there's no more room when you could easily fit 2 or more bags up there, assuming it's a mainline sized plane.

This rule is more difficult on a CRJ plane or the smaller ERJs. Your fellow travelers would like to think there are no rules but they are wrong and cannot be trusted. Do not make eye contact but protect your (and your luggage's) ground.
I'm the guy people love to hate when I fly with one of my trombones. A trombone case usually takes up 1/2 to 2/3 of an overhead bin with a little space in front of it for purses or backpacks. People see me waiting to board and they are already giving me daggers from the eyes.


Why do you travel with a trombone?
I'm a professional musician.

I bet you're great at the butt trumpet lolomglol
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VP at Pierce and Pierce
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11:13a, 10/28/24
On the food part, people rarely if ever get something that is light and not messy like a salad or a cold sandwich. It is always greasy fried chicken or Mexican food or some sort pasta dish or cheeseburger with extra onions. No common sense or consideration.
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