1. Window seat has control of the window shade.

2. Aisle seat has the extra room and freedom of the aisle.

3. Middle seat gets the armrests.

4. Don't touch your neighbors without permission, if you can help it.

5. Don't bring smelly food and eat it on the plane. If it can be smelled beyond your 2-3 seated row + the seat in front of you, it's too smelly.

6. Wear deodorant or don't, just don't be smelly, yourself.

7. If someone asks you to switch seats, you can say no. It's YOUR seat; you decide.

8. Make potty before getting on the plane. Try even if you don't think you have to go.

9. Don't crowd the gate before your group has been called to board. Make it clear by standing far enough away that you're not in line.

10. When deplaning, wait to step into the aisle until the row in front of you has started moving to exit the plane. (At a minimum, honor the spirit of this by deplaning row by row.)

11. Do not board a plane if you are sick and you may still be contagious. Wear a mask if you have a cough.

12. Read your seat mate - if they have headphones in, they aren't interested in talking to you. If they don't, they are still probably not interested in talking to you.

13. Watch things on your phone or listen to music while wearing headphones. Playing it out loud makes you an ******* .

14. NO FARTING!

15. At baggage claim, stand back from the carousel until you have eyes on your bag and it's 10 seconds from rounding where you're standing.



Did I miss anything?

If I am in the aisle seat, I'll sometimes get up when we reach the gate because my back is killing me and I'm 6'5". But I don't try to walk ahead, that drives me crazy. Like, we're all sitting here for awhile, trying to get out 3 people sooner isn't going to mean much.

But few things are as satisfying as farting at altitude. My farts are aromatically pleasing.

Disagree with #3, elbows go inside the armrests.

On Monday the middle seat guy had his elbows over the armrest and was poking me in the side, he was doing the same to the guy on the window, both of us called him out on it.

Tree Hugger said:

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Disagree with #3, elbows go inside the armrests.

On Monday the middle seat guy had his elbows over the armrest and was poking me in the side, he was doing the same to the guy on the window, both of us called him out on it.

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Ah, see, but that breaks rule 4 - no touching your neighbors. Middle gets the armrests but they still gotta keep within the rules.

713nervy said:

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1. Window seat has control of the window shade.

2. Aisle seat has the extra room and freedom of the aisle.

3. Middle seat gets the armrests.

4. Don't touch your neighbors without permission, if you can help it.

5. Don't bring smelly food and eat it on the plane. If it can be smelled beyond your 2-3 seated row + the seat in front of you, it's too smelly.

6. Wear deodorant or don't, just don't be smelly, yourself.

7. If someone asks you to switch seats, you can say no. It's YOUR seat; you decide.

8. Make potty before getting on the plane. Try even if you don't think you have to go.

9. Don't crowd the gate before your group has been called to board. Make it clear by standing far enough away that you're not in line.

10. When deplaning, wait to step into the aisle until the row in front of you has started moving to exit the plane.

11. Do not board a plane if you are sick and you may still be contagious.

12. Read your seat mate - if they have headphones in, they aren't interested in talking to you. If they don't, they are still probably not interested in talking to you.

13. Watch things on your phone or listen to music while wearing headphones. Playing it out loud makes you an ******* .

14. NO FARTING!


Did I miss anything?

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Learn how to properly stow your luggage in the overhead compartment. It varies by make and model but people (who are dumb) love to gently place 2 carry-ons flat down, head to toe style and then complain there's no more room when you could easily fit 2 or more bags up there, assuming it's a mainline sized plane.

This rule is more difficult on a CRJ plane or the smaller ERJs. Your fellow travelers would like to think there are no rules but they are wrong and cannot be trusted. Do not make eye contact but protect your (and your luggage's) ground.

713nervy said:

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5. Don't bring smelly food and eat it on the plane. If it can be smelled beyond your 2-3 seated row + the seat in front of you, it's too smelly.

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I've never understood people bringing ANY cooked food onto the plane. So they order it in the terminal, then sit with it where we can all smell it waiting for boarding, then they board with it to sit and sit and sit and sit, and then they finally open it once the plane levels off. There's no way it's good. At best it's lukewarm.

Just eat it at the terminal and be done with it.

I had a 50 minute connection earlier and needed to get clear to the other side of the terminal. If I was going to eat, it needed to be on the go. So I grabbed Chick-fil-a to go, walked to my gate, then boarded the plane immediarely.

Yep, if you take your shoes off, keep socks on.

I had two flights in August, both instances, where I had to deal with someone else's bare feet. One of em was a middle seater who crossed his legs so the bare feet were 2 inches from my knee. Offensive as ****

Forcing others to deal with your bare feet is an abomination

Don't take your shoes off. If it's a long long flight, bring some house slippers if you don't like shoes on that long

I usually wont nuke my own isle with a fart but i sure as hell will crop dust the main cabin as i walk down it.

713nervy said:

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1. Window seat has control of the window shade.

2. Aisle seat has the extra room and freedom of the aisle.

3. Middle seat gets the armrests.

4. Don't touch your neighbors without permission, if you can help it.

5. Don't bring smelly food and eat it on the plane. If it can be smelled beyond your 2-3 seated row + the seat in front of you, it's too smelly.

6. Wear deodorant or don't, just don't be smelly, yourself.

7. If someone asks you to switch seats, you can say no. It's YOUR seat; you decide.

8. Make potty before getting on the plane. Try even if you don't think you have to go.

9. Don't crowd the gate before your group has been called to board. Make it clear by standing far enough away that you're not in line.

10. When deplaning, wait to step into the aisle until the row in front of you has started moving to exit the plane.

11. Do not board a plane if you are sick and you may still be contagious.

12. Read your seat mate - if they have headphones in, they aren't interested in talking to you. If they don't, they are still probably not interested in talking to you.

13. Watch things on your phone or listen to music while wearing headphones. Playing it out loud makes you an ******* .

14. NO FARTING!


Did I miss anything?

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Row 29 is not after row 8!!! Or 9, or wait for it, row 12…. Quit looking at every freaking row number, 29 is not going to just suddenly pop out after row 14…. Put your head down and walk with purpose!!!!!

The day I don't fart on an airplane is my last day. I board a flight in about an hour and I am currently saving them up.

No issues with musical instruments. You travel with it and I would assume you know exactly what you're doing with it.

It's the neck roll wearing pillow carrying idiot in dirty sweats I do not trust.

I wish everyone followed these common sense rules.

One of my irritants back at the airport is the people that crowd the baggage carousel. I'll leave space for people to step in front of me to grab their bags in case they come out before me and then some bonehead will come stand directly in front of me while they wait for their bag (which inevitably comes out after mine).

Take a step back, give everyone space to fetch their stuff.

Philo B 93 said:

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Ryan the Temp said:

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superunknown said:

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Learn how to properly stow your luggage in the overhead compartment. It varies by make and model but people (who are dumb) love to gently place 2 carry-ons flat down, head to toe style and then complain there's no more room when you could easily fit 2 or more bags up there, assuming it's a mainline sized plane.

This rule is more difficult on a CRJ plane or the smaller ERJs. Your fellow travelers would like to think there are no rules but they are wrong and cannot be trusted. Do not make eye contact but protect your (and your luggage's) ground.

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I'm the guy people love to hate when I fly with one of my trombones. A trombone case usually takes up 1/2 to 2/3 of an overhead bin with a little space in front of it for purses or backpacks. People see me waiting to board and they are already giving me daggers from the eyes.

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Why do you travel with a trombone?

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You never know when a ska concert is going to break out. Gotta be ready.

i have had it with these mother****ing snakes on this mother****ing plane

Ryan the Temp said:

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Philo B 93 said:

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Ryan the Temp said:

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superunknown said:

---

Learn how to properly stow your luggage in the overhead compartment. It varies by make and model but people (who are dumb) love to gently place 2 carry-ons flat down, head to toe style and then complain there's no more room when you could easily fit 2 or more bags up there, assuming it's a mainline sized plane.

This rule is more difficult on a CRJ plane or the smaller ERJs. Your fellow travelers would like to think there are no rules but they are wrong and cannot be trusted. Do not make eye contact but protect your (and your luggage's) ground.

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I'm the guy people love to hate when I fly with one of my trombones. A trombone case usually takes up 1/2 to 2/3 of an overhead bin with a little space in front of it for purses or backpacks. People see me waiting to board and they are already giving me daggers from the eyes.

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Why do you travel with a trombone?

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I'm a professional musician.

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I bet you're great at the butt trumpet lolomglol