Once upon a time, I would've been pretty curious. not so much now.

Nobody ordered pancakes.

Swarely said:

---

We have rules people!

---

One time pass allowed on this one! No need to have that image burned into our eyeballs.

Better Martha than a fat or a trans dude in a bikini

She looks gorgeous! Do you really think SI would put something less than ideal on their cover? Gimme a break.

Microwave Onions said:

---

Once upon a time, I would've been pretty curious. not so much now.

---

She probably learned a thing or two in the joint.

Stat Monitor Repairman said:

---

SI continuing with their bud light style brand management.

---

To be fair, nobody actually cares about SI anymore, which is why they do things like this to get people talking about it.

In case you were wondering, I did fap to this

Beautiful and elegant. 81 years young and worth over $400 million. Any of us should be so lucky.

Lots of photos of her in younger years here.

https://www.marthastewart.com/1541520/martha-stewart-best-throwback-photos

She's lovely.

It's a good thing.

In all your Amours you should prefer old Women to young ones. You call this a Paradox, and demand my Reasons. They are these:

1. Because as they have more Knowledge of the World and their Minds are better stor'd with Observations, their Conversation is more improving and more lastingly agreable.

2. Because when Women cease to be handsome, they study to be good. To maintain their Influence over Men, they supply the Diminution of Beauty by an Augmentation of Utility. They learn to do a 1000 Services small and great, and are the most tender and useful of all Friends when you are sick. Thus they continue amiable. And hence there is hardly such a thing to be found as an old Woman who is not a good Woman.

3. Because there is no hazard of Children, which irregularly produc'd may be attended with much Inconvenience.

4. Because thro' more Experience, they are more prudent and discreet in conducting an Intrigue to prevent Suspicion. The Commerce with them is therefore safer with regard to your Reputation. And with regard to theirs, if the Affair should happen to be known, considerate People might be rather inclin'd to excuse an old Woman who would kindly take care of a young Man, form his Manners by her good Counsels, and prevent his ruining his Health and Fortune among mercenary Prostitutes.

5. Because in every Animal that walks upright, the Deficiency of the Fluids that fill the Muscles appears first in the highest Part: The Face first grows lank and wrinkled; then the Neck; then the Breast and Arms; the lower Parts continuing to the last as plump as ever: So that covering all above with a Basket, and regarding only what is below the Girdle, it is impossible of two Women to know an old from a young one. And as in the dark all Cats are grey, the Pleasure of corporal Enjoyment with an old Woman is at least equal, and frequently superior, every Knack being by Practice capable of Improvement.

6. Because the Sin is less. The debauching a Virgin may be her Ruin, and make her for Life unhappy.

7. Because the Compunction is less. The having made a young Girl miserable may give you frequent bitter Reflections; none of which can attend the making an old Woman happy.

8thly and Lastly They are so grateful!!

-Ben Franklin

Teslag said:

---

Uh did you miss last year when they put this fat tub of **** on the cover?

---

Wood.

I did not. She is gorgeous.

Somebody is tapping Martha, getting a good meal cooked, and prison stories…..

Lol at SI these days though, we had Kathy Ireland, Cheryl Tiegs, and Elle McPherson and guys today get the blob and golden girls.

Yeah, a real tragedy.

toucan82 said:

---

In case you were wondering, I did fap to this

---

As did I but with lavender lotion and a lit spring scented candle to bring in the season.