I have my own business doing home renovation. Working within someone's home can be challenging at times because you are in their personal space, invading and disturbing their routine. I try to set expectations very early, saying I will text/communicate asap, does not mean immediately, but no more than 24 hours.

But because I live in the same community, and they have been to my house (which I invite them to see my work), the 'personal space' boundary gets crossed regularly. Getting texts at all days and times is normal, them expecting me to work 7 days/week at their house is fairly normal. If seen out at a store, I will be immediately asked about their project. Frequently at parties or bars, when someone (um... women) find out what I do, they will hammer me with questions about their kitchens or bathrooms while their husbands laugh at me (but are happy because they can talk to their buddies). Don't get me wrong, I don't hate talking kitchens, it's better than forced 'small talk'.

So work and personal life for me is intertwined. It hasn't been easy, but I have gotten fairly adept at 'managing' people. Getting better at that has put me more at ease. Also, since craftsmen are so in demand right now, the respect level has risen a little. That helps too.

And a few good beers while making dinner sure helps....

I retired

Anyone hit the trifecta of less than 45 hours a week, pay over $150k, and you find the work interesting?

I had a medical procedure done where they literally shut off my personal memory from my work memory. When working, I don't know I have a family/life outside work. When at home, I don't know my job position or work stresses.

It's pretty awesome.

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt11280740/

Do you think they could just zonk me out. Could I come home and think that I've been fishing all day, or something?

My job ****s me. I go home and **** my wife. It's like she's ****ing me with my job. The cycle never ends.

Exercise.

For me to have any separation, I absolutely cannot work from home. Work causes me way too much stress, and I must have that physical separation to get any peace.

Probably a sign I need to look for something else.

500,000ags said:

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Anyone hit the trifecta of less than 45 hours a week, pay over $150k, and you find the work interesting?

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You funny.

Yup. And it's awesome not working all day. Taking call sucks but it's worth it for the hours I actually have to work. I think I was at work for about 18 hours this week.

18 hours!

Yup. And honestly that's a bit more than average. I send maybe twenty emails a year and if I'm not physically in a hospital, I don't have to think about work at all. It's physically impossible to bring my work home with me. Makes family life possible and I get to spend tons of time with the kiddos during the week.

500,000ags said:

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Anyone hit the trifecta of less than 45 hours a week, pay over $150k, and you find the work interesting?

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I work about 33 hours a week and make more than that. I also work from home full time.

As far as interesting, meh. Better than a wbt thread, worse than random side boob.

I work hard so I Can drive a real cool
Blue corvette

BenFiasco14 said:

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In other words, what do you do to keep the stress from your job from influencing and harming your personal life?

Serious and GB answers welcome.

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Serious long-winded answer...


I had a big problem separating the 2 at my old company, and it was both my fault as well as theirs. The culture was to be constantly available, and I dove head first into it. I worked all of the time and would constantly check emails and and take calls from home. I was early in my career when I started that company and didn't know any other way.

After a while, it took it's toll on me and I became horrible person when I was home. Once we had our first child, it got even worse. I was very short with my wife and didn't have patience to deal with the baby, so I tended to push a lot of that stuff onto her. And I was often gone for 15+ hours a day while my wife was at home trying to learn how to be a mom. She saw how much I was working and how often I'd get calls at home that she became the one to not let me get up during the night because I needed my rest.

Then the day came where I was laid off with a company wide RIF. I didn't feel anger. I wasn't confused. I wasn't even worried about how we'd survive. I felt relief. Years of pressure and stress were suddenly gone. I could actually go home and be a dad and husband. I could actually plan things to do as a family without having to cancel last minute because of work.

I vowed to never let my career dictate my personal life again, and I found the perfect company for me (you've no doubt heard of the company). They're big on leave work at work. When we had our 2nd child, I was shocked my boss and his boss made me take 2 weeks off to be with the new baby and my wife, as opposed to the 3 days my previous company reluctantly gave me. And prior to COVID, I'd walk out in the afternoon and not think about work again until the next morning. There were times I'd have to take a call in the car driving home, but that was a rare occurance. Now that I'm working from home due to COVID, I shut my computer down and that's it. When I log back on in the morning, emails received after 5 are, more often than not, sent by someone from the west coast. Emails received early in the morning are from the east coast. No 11pm calls, no boss firing off emails at 5 am asking why you haven't responded to something you received at 1:30 am.

Will it possibly cost me future promotions and career earnings? Probably. But I'm much happier now and a better father and husband, so I don't really care. Doesn't seem to have impacted me or others like me at my company yet. In fact, the company seems to be taking a much larger work/life balance approach. The only issue I have with the company is the commute, and COVID may have solved that.

Ol_Ag_02 said:

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500,000ags said:

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Anyone hit the trifecta of less than 45 hours a week, pay over $150k, and you find the work interesting?

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I work about 33 hours a week and make more than that. I also work from home full time.

As far as interesting, meh. Better than a wbt thread, worse than random side boob.

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I'm in this club as well but it's because I've been doing the job for years and know what I need to do, at minimum, to exceed metrics(for bonus) and log off when I want to. Though, I find myself seeking out new projects every 3-5 years because of boredom.

what a strange coincidence that valtrex stops posting on 2/27 and a new illiterate moron who has spent over a decade begging for my attention shows up the very next day

I'm dealer business consultant in the c-store world. It's impossible to leave work at work. It's 24/7/365 and I'm sick of it.

I just joined this 1500 person company which is nasdaq listed and the work promises to be good, my boss is nice and I am energized again.

So I end up working weekends also, some hours. And I am enjoying it so it does not feel like work.

Fairly serious response from someone who struggles with this and have health issues because of it:

1) alcohol consumption. Every now and then, you gotta get away from the wife and kids, consume too much alcohol and have a mental reset / reboot, or whatever you want to call it. This is not physically or mentally healthy, but I find it necessary. Bonus points if you're with your buddies and kill feral pigs.

2) having kids put everything in perspective for me. Work is a bunch of BS, being fully there for your kids is everything. What's the point of killing your self if you can't provide financially and emotionally to give your children a better life that you had? Or if you can't/don't have kids or maybe don't want kids, find a purpose to help other people, specifically the next generation. There are tons of organizations that just need your time, nothing else. Everyone has a cause that has touched their lives, whether it be special needs, health issues, animals, etc. If you can't find happiness and a balance through that, it's just your own selfish ego.

3). I watched a documentary or read and article or something about psychology of the elite high level athlete years ago. There was a specific part about Kobe, along the lines of "if I can't make the shot, no one can". I've learned to be confident in my abilities and work ethic, if I can't make it happen, neither can anyone else. If I'm too tired or have something to do with my kids, no one else can do what I can do, it will be there for me to do tomorrow. If something goes wrong, no one else could have done it better, you're not going to get it 100% of the time. You can worry about work all the way in, all the way home, but Once you step in the door, shut it down.