Out of bed around 620. At work by 7. Eat oatmeal at the office after my first meeting. Reflect on life choices.

I don't do any of these things.

I wake up when the kids wake me up and almost immediately gi lay on the couch and wait for my coffee. Hit the gym around 9 or 10. Mornings are ass. Complete ass. I dont understand people who are chipper within an hour of waking.

I'm stalking this quirky government worker that posts on TexAgs and I'm trying to lure her into revealing daily patterns I can exploit in a complex plot to abduct her and steal her organs.

I believe in taking care of myself, and a balanced diet and a rigorous exercise routine. In the morning, if my face is a little puffy, I'll put on an ice pack while doing my stomach crunches. I can do a thousand now. After I remove the ice pack I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower I use a water activated gel cleanser, then a honey almond body scrub, and on the face an exfoliating gel scrub. Then I apply an herb-mint facial masque which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an after shave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion.

There is an idea of a Brian Earl Spilner. Some kind of abstraction. But there is no real me. Only an entity. Something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours, and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable, I simply am not there.