Husband Valentine gift

25,602 Views | 139 Replies | Last: 5 yr ago by 713nervy
Ags4DaWin
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TxAggieGirl08 said:

Of course he says he doesn't want anything. I was just trying to get ideas for something to surprise him with since he definitely doesn't expect anything at all.

Agree with other stuff on here- stockings, garters, or maybe a catholic schoolgirl outfit with pigtails.

Hot red lipstick while you give him the bee-jay. Don't skimp on the Eyeliner and mascara and tell him what a big strapping man he is.

The only gift that is required.

That or buttsex if he is into it.
Clob94
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up-n-aTm said:

Ginormus Ag said:

I too tell my wife I don't want anything. What I mean by that is "I want sex at 9:00 after the kids go to bed. You can be there if you want. It will be less expensive of us if you are."

This. I tell her "You can either participate or clean up."
Sheesh--- if it's really that easy maybe I should get married.............
JMac03
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AG
We don't do the Valentine's Day stuff.

Although today I bought mine a card that says something to the effect sometimes I want to kick you in the face, but most of the time I love you.
Ags4DaWin
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Or have one of your hot single friends drop by and y'all can all celebrate together....ya know...if you're into that sort of thing.

Seriously though. Guys are really simple. Take us back to the time in the relationship when the sex was hot and heavy and you made us feel like a stud.

That's why we married you in the first place.
bac
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AG
Why is this thread still alive? The first response nailed it.
Rutedown
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backdoor access
Ginormus Ag
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AG
Honestly, just go to CVS and get him a poetic card, cheap chocolate candy, and maybe a 20oz of his favorite soda. If he is the respectful, loving, sensitive husband you think you married, he will be overjoyed with how much thought you put into his gift.
emando2000
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AG
Get him a coupon book of sexual favors that he can use whenever he wants with you and you cannot refuse.
JMac03
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AG
Rutedown said:

backdoor access
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by user
chiken
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you're not doing it right if you so adamantly say no.
Ags4DaWin
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chiken said:

you're not doing it right if you so adamantly say no.


Or maybe he's just too big.
CrottyKid
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AG
Bourbon
aTm2004
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AG
1. Cook him a good meal. Steak is ideal, but his favorite will also suffice.
2. Keep the kids quiet and allow him to watch sports. Keep a cold beer in his hand during this.
3. Put the kids to bed early while he's enjoying a cold beer and some basketball.
4. Walk up to him naked with a fresh beer.
5. Hand beer to him and begin to polish his knob while he enjoys the fresh beer and basketball.
6. Leave him alone the rest of the night.
aTm2004
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chiken said:

you're not doing it right if you so adamantly say no.

You also aren't doing it right if you fall to the floor when you sit on a barstool.
LEJ
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Chicken does vent stuff. I knew it.
decent looking Ag
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But secks
Stringfellow Hawke
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AG
Have yall's parents watch the kids for 3-4 days and plan a surprise trip somewhere that both of you would like. If you are into the outdoors/camping, Concan area is amazing this.
Ag 11
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AG
You know exactly what he wants
Dr.Rumack
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All these damn replies and no Fleshlight?!?

The GB is dying a slow death....
02skiag
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AG
aTm2004 said:

1. Cook him a good meal. Steak is ideal, but his favorite will also suffice.
2. Keep the kids quiet and allow him to watch sports. Keep a cold beer in his hand during this.
3. Put the kids to bed early while he's enjoying a cold beer and some basketball.
4. Walk up to him naked with a fresh beer.
5. Hand beer to him and begin to polish his knob while he enjoys the fresh beer and basketball.
6. Leave him alone the rest of the night.


Dang, you really like basketball.
Duncan Idaho
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02skiag said:

aTm2004 said:

1. Cook him a good meal. Steak is ideal, but his favorite will also suffice.
2. Keep the kids quiet and allow him to watch sports. Keep a cold beer in his hand during this.
3. Put the kids to bed early while he's enjoying a cold beer and some basketball.
4. Walk up to him naked with a fresh beer.
5. Hand beer to him and begin to polish his knob while he enjoys the fresh beer and basketball.
6. Leave him alone the rest of the night.


Dang, you really like basketball.


Atm2004 sounds pretty gay. Getting a blowy while watching a bunch of dudes play with their balls.

Not sure what that is if it isn't gay.
decent looking Ag
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This thread fails to deliver on at least three different levels....

1. No pics of OP

2. No pics of OP

3. No pics of OP

POST PICTURES OF YOURSELF GOD DAMMIT.
713nervy
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AG
EagleFordEarl said:

NoahAg said:

Tatem said:

my husband actually requested some toddler art work so I'm going to frame some of it for him
That may be what he said, but that's not what he wants.

I think what he really meant is he'd like to make your back teeth look like a preschool.

I don't really get it, so I'm going to clarify.

Are you suggesting that semen are the children, and by putting a bunch of semen on her back teeth, that that's the preschool? Thanks in advance.
713nervy
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AG
OMFG
JMac03 said:

Rutedown said:

backdoor access

nbbob
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Notice the OP hasn't even come close to discussing sex. Poor guy. That's also why she is on Texags asking for advice. Most women know what a guy wants. It's only an issue for them if they don't want it, too.
Drawkcab
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713nervy said:

EagleFordEarl said:

NoahAg said:

Tatem said:

my husband actually requested some toddler art work so I'm going to frame some of it for him
That may be what he said, but that's not what he wants.

I think what he really meant is he'd like to make your back teeth look like a preschool.

I don't really get it, so I'm going to clarify.

Are you suggesting that semen are the children, and by putting a bunch of semen on her back teeth, that that's the preschool? Thanks in advance.

That's the conclusion I came to as well. Had to think about it for a good 30 seconds before I realized "Ohhhh. Dumbass thinks sperm are kids...and get bjs at weird toothy angles apparently."
aTm2004
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02skiag said:

aTm2004 said:

1. Cook him a good meal. Steak is ideal, but his favorite will also suffice.
2. Keep the kids quiet and allow him to watch sports. Keep a cold beer in his hand during this.
3. Put the kids to bed early while he's enjoying a cold beer and some basketball.
4. Walk up to him naked with a fresh beer.
5. Hand beer to him and begin to polish his knob while he enjoys the fresh beer and basketball.
6. Leave him alone the rest of the night.


Dang, you really like basketball.
It's the only sport on during this chit time of year.
aTm2004
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Bonfire1996
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The key to keeping your man happy. He will never stray.....

Keep his belly full and his balls empty.
aTm2004
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Bonfire1996 said:

The key to keeping your man happy. He will never stray.....

Keep his belly full and his balls empty.
Every wedding officiant should tell a woman this before starting their vows. If she grimaces or disagrees, skip the rest of the wedding and go have a hell of a goodbye party.
TxAggieGirl08
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decent looking Ag said:

This thread fails to deliver on at least three different levels....

1. No pics of OP

2. No pics of OP

3. No pics of OP

POST PICTURES OF YOURSELF GOD DAMMIT.
We might be neighbors or sit by someone on this thread at church, so that's a pass for me. I've enjoyed all the advice though and so will my husband

Happy Valentine's!
decent looking Ag
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TxAggieGirl08 said:

decent looking Ag said:

This thread fails to deliver on at least three different levels....

1. No pics of OP

2. No pics of OP

3. No pics of OP

POST PICTURES OF YOURSELF GOD DAMMIT.
We might be neighbors or sit by someone on this thread at church, so that's a pass for me. I've enjoyed all the advice though and so will my husband

Happy Valentine's!


That's right get out of here, you troll. 10 bucks says you're seabass or a bayside sock.

That's assuming bayside is not a seabass sock.
JoeAggie5
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Your husband wants s*x, not throw off sweat pants and "get it over with"

Two little ones? Probably too late for tonight, but a baby sitter and a meal just the two of you. Wear se*y underwear/lingerie. Just like women want to see some effort in the gift they receive, men deep down want the same, but s*x.

Too late for a date? Put the kids down earlier. Instead of walking back out in your sweat pants to Netflix and chill, Walk out na*ed (assuming that's not something your normally do), throw him off, surprise him.

Just like women expect a gift with some thought put into it, men expect s*x and the more thought into it, the better.
 
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