No, it was specifically examining couples who did live together before marriage.
What's it honestly like to be divorced?
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Last: 7 yr ago by CDUB98
I'll never get divorced, but my parents divorced when we kids were 4, 6, and 8 I think. Fortunately we turned out ok.
I never harbored resentment toward them, and I'm still not sure who's more to blame. But as I've gotten older and have my own kids, I have more thoughts about how incredibly selfish they were for splitting up, especially as young as we were. I couldn't imagine doing that to my kids.
I never harbored resentment toward them, and I'm still not sure who's more to blame. But as I've gotten older and have my own kids, I have more thoughts about how incredibly selfish they were for splitting up, especially as young as we were. I couldn't imagine doing that to my kids.
redline248 said:
Studies indicate that living together before marriage can increase the chances of divorce after marriage (not a perfect predictor). While not married, all the stuff that bothers each other is minimized bc "I can always leave." Once married, that stuff gets amplified and the couples never learned how to deal with it.
Or they moved in together to save on rent, or some reason that's not all that important. "We always were at each other's place, anyway, so it made sense." There is also the chance that they marry bc it's easier than moving out. Then they eventually realize they settled and didn't love each other.
Step number one when getting married or moving in together is to setup house in a new place that isn't your or hers, but is y'all's from the first day.
If you move into her place, she will always feel like you are up in her **** and if she moves into your place, she will never feel nested.
Andy Stanley marriage
Unmet expectations are a huge problem. This video is long, but makes a ton of sense.
Unmet expectations are a huge problem. This video is long, but makes a ton of sense.
Also, a lot of couples move in together under different expectations. Many women feel it's the first step to marriage, while the men feel like it's just a way to sorry of commit without getting married.
Communication, as always, is key.
edit: probably what that video is about, without watching
Communication, as always, is key.
edit: probably what that video is about, without watching
SoupNazi2001 said:Agoodlittleag04 said:
I don't know what it's like to be divorced. But based on my experience as a stepmom of almost 10 years, I can tell you this: I wouldn't willingly divorce my husband, barring very extreme circumstances. I've seen what divorce has done to my stepkids and I wouldn't put my daughter through that. If it did happen for whatever reason, I wouldn't even consider dating or remarrying until she was grown.
So your husband shouldn't have married you until his kids were grown?
Yes. That's exactly right. There has been too much heartache for all of us stemming from being a blended family. It would have been better for everyone if we'd waited. Hindsight, etc.
Getting divorced is the lazy way out
Bayside Tiger Ag said:
Getting divorced is the lazy way out
Aren't you divorced?
I think people who once were in sync can grow in different directions and move apart. This is normal. One might become very spiritual and reclusive, while the other may become materialistic. As time goes, people change. I feel that my wife and I are different from what we were when we got married. This does cause some friction.
Bayside and Bombay...I get you two mixed up. Which of you effed the foreign **ore and which is just merely annoying?
He didn't say he wasn't lazy.Bruce Almighty said:Bayside Tiger Ag said:
Getting divorced is the lazy way out
Aren't you divorced?
Bombay - AnnoyingOl Jock 99 said:
Bayside and Bombay...I get you two mixed up. Which of you effed the foreign **ore and which is just merely annoying?
Bayside - Hoarlicker
Yes?Ol Jock 99 said:
Bayside and Bombay...I get you two mixed up. Which of you effed the foreign **ore and which is just merely annoying?
I'm not divorced and have no intention of going through that. What's interesting is that people end marriages by choice and some marriages end without anyone getting to make a choice. You certainly gain substantial perspective when someone close to you has a marriage that ends and it isn't because anyone chose for that to happen.
I'm not following you... At least one person has to make a choice to end a marriage, no?
I took him to be talking about a death in the marriage.
SoupNazi2001 said:
I think he is saying in any marriage if one partner decides they are done and are unwilling to work on things there is nothing the other one can do. Sad situation.
That was me. I used to say I'll never get divorced, too. Until she traded me in for a newer model.
The flood gates to poon will open!!!
This. I was talking about death.AgEng06 said:
I took him to be talking about a death in the marriage.
Bombay is one of Baysides socksOl Jock 99 said:
Bayside and Bombay...I get you two mixed up. Which of you effed the foreign **ore and which is just merely annoying?
Not all divorces are the lazy way out. I fought for almost fifteen years to make it work. We had no communication and she spends money like a drunken sailor. It finally became divorce or my sanity. Our son told me he had been expecting it for a long time. How ****ty is that? Have that conversation with your 12 yo, then tell me I was just being lazy.
Be sure to try to find someone else that is divorced or has emotional baggage. Us single, happy to be free people don't need you crapping on us.
hunterntexas said:
Not all divorces are the lazy way out. I fought for almost fifteen years to make it work. We had no communication and she spends money like a drunken sailor. It finally became divorce or my sanity. Our son told me he had been expecting it for a long time. How ****ty is that? Have that conversation with your 12 yo, then tell me I was just being lazy.
This.
Exactly. I have an aunt who divorced her husband when he, after 18 years of marriage and 3 kids, came out of the closet on her. I guess you COULD just say she was too lazy to grow a dick and a set of balls to keep him happy, but I think she chose wisely. The rest of us were pretty OK with her decision, and she is quite happy and well adjusted now.hunterntexas said:
Not all divorces are the lazy way out. I fought for almost fifteen years to make it work. We had no communication and she spends money like a drunken sailor. It finally became divorce or my sanity. Our son told me he had been expecting it for a long time. How ****ty is that? Have that conversation with your 12 yo, then tell me I was just being lazy.
BenFiasco14 said:Bombay is one of Baysides socksOl Jock 99 said:
Bayside and Bombay...I get you two mixed up. Which of you effed the foreign **ore and which is just merely annoying?
Wanna bet? Using socks is lazier than divorce. Own your trolling.
Oh, Frances - Jerry was right to steal your marble rye. How are the cats?marble rye said:
Be sure to try to find someone else that is divorced or has emotional baggage. Us single, happy to be free people don't need you crapping on us.
BlueDevil is another one of his socks.BenFiasco14 said:Bombay is one of Baysides socksOl Jock 99 said:
Bayside and Bombay...I get you two mixed up. Which of you effed the foreign **ore and which is just merely annoying?
Och26-58-87 said:BlueDevil is another one of his socks.BenFiasco14 said:Bombay is one of Baysides socksOl Jock 99 said:
Bayside and Bombay...I get you two mixed up. Which of you effed the foreign **ore and which is just merely annoying?
That's not true, either; I lost my agtag privileges awhile back when I was young and dumb (still may be both of those). I'm my own person.
So, are you a Duke grad?BlueDeviledAg said:Och26-58-87 said:BlueDevil is another one of his socks.BenFiasco14 said:Bombay is one of Baysides socksOl Jock 99 said:
Bayside and Bombay...I get you two mixed up. Which of you effed the foreign **ore and which is just merely annoying?
That's not true, either; I lost my agtag privileges awhile back when I was young and dumb (still may be both of those). I'm my own person.
If someone cohabitates, even buying a home together and having a joint bank account, when they split up it doesn't count as a divorce. While it wasn't technically a marriage, this seems to not make any statistics. So, someone who ended cohabitation 4 times may never have been divorced yet the person who got divorced once has at least a slight stigma among some - interesting to me.
Yep.
What was your major? Slight chance I know you.BlueDeviledAg said:
Yep.
leakypipes said:
Eh, it sucks, but you live and you learn. Try not to make the same mistakes in the future and hope future love interest doesn't do you dirty like the last one.
Lexactly man.
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