Craziest thing an ex has ever done to you post breakup?

30,861 Views | 183 Replies | Last: 6 yr ago by Bird Poo
BenFiasco14
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lets hear some stories of crazy. I've luckily not dealt with anything too weird, best I have to offer is an ex gf planting jewelry at my place after the break up so that she would HAVE to come back to get it.

What's the craziest thing an ex boyfriend, girlfriend, or spouse has done to you after the split?
CNN is an enemy of the state and should be treated as such.
LupinusTexensis
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I had a guy tell me he had an STI after we broke up. I freaked out and went and got tested despite using protection. I came back clean. I texted him that, and he told me he knew and that he was trying to scare me.
chipotle
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LupinusTexensis said:

I had a guy tell me he had an STI after we broke up. I freaked out and went and got tested despite using protection. I came back clean. I texted him that, and he told me he knew and that he was trying to scare me.


Why didn't you tell him you were late? I'll hang up and listen.
Seven Costanza
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BenFiasco14 said:

I've luckily not dealt with anything too weird, best I have to offer is an ex gf planting jewelry at my place after the break up so that she would HAVE to come back to get it.

EFE
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Had one call my Dad to tell him to tell me I was making a big mistake leaving her and that he needed to convince me to stay. He just called and told me to be smarter about who I put my penus into.
quanah
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chipotle said:

LupinusTexensis said:

I had a guy tell me he had an STI after we broke up. I freaked out and went and got tested despite using protection. I came back clean. I texted him that, and he told me he knew and that he was trying to scare me.


Why didn't you tell him you were late? I'll hang up and listen.

Or tell him you're a post-op ******, and he really ****ed a dude and is gay now.
IceAg08
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LupinusTexensis said:

I had a guy tell me he had an STI after we broke up. I freaked out and went and got tested despite using protection. I came back clean. I texted him that, and he told me he knew and that he was trying to scare me.


Should have said yep, came back positive
MonkeyKnifeFighter
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Trident 88
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Nothing too crazy. She burst into my dorm room crying her eyes out and threw herself against the door begging for me to take her back.

It's the fact that lots of parents and family were visiting that weekend, and I had to forcibly remove her from my room as gently as possible while these folks just stood in the hallway gawking at us.

Now, my roommate's ex... That's another story. That crazy beach broke almost everything in our dorm room while my roommate just stayed out in the hallway to avoid being injured. (I was at my new girlfriend's place while this happened.)
IrishTxAggie
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They can test off of urine now. No need to have the swab up the peehole
EFE
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How would you know?
Thomas Sowell, PhD
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Similar to OP, my ex left a jar of peanut butter and a pint of ice cream behind as an excuse to come back. Thing is she hated both of these.
We had great makeup sex and then she dumped me because I didn't use the Oxford comma.
IrishTxAggie
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Because I'm responsible enough to get tested yearly or after each partner.
EFE
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IrishTxAggie said:

Because I'm responsible enough to get tested yearly or after each partner.

Again... how would you know?
quanah
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IrishTxAggie said:

Because I'm responsible enough to get tested yearly or after each partner.

Seems like you could save yourself a lot of time and money if you just did it after each partner rather than yearly.
IrishTxAggie
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Contrary to the GB of TexAgs belief, I have on occasion gotten laid. Few and far between, but occasions nonetheless!
IrishTxAggie
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Been cheated on before. Trust no one until there's a ring on it. Also, I said 'OR' not 'AND'.
MonkeyKnifeFighter
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The Wonderer
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Faked a pregnancy and miscarriage.
Slicer97
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Inflatables and fleshlights don't count, dude.
ellebee
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Not sure if this applies since it wasn't done to me, but I slit his dog's throat and the bathed in the blood and waited in his bed for him to come home from work so I could let him know how much I loved him. He was a bit resistant so I murdered his family while he watched. He's much more cooperative now.
IrishTxAggie
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Costs of rubber and plastic is high. Eastern European snatch is currently cheaper.
IrishTxAggie
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ellebee said:

Not sure if this applies since it wasn't done to me, but I slit his dog's throat and the bathed in the blood and waited in his bed for him to come home from work so I could let him know how much I loved him. He was a bit resistant so I murdered his family while he watched. He's much more cooperative now.


John Francis Donaghy
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ellebee said:

Not sure if this applies since it wasn't done to me, but I slit his dog's throat and the bathed in the blood and waited in his bed for him to come home from work so I could let him know how much I loved him. He was a bit resistant so I murdered his family while he watched. He's much more cooperative now.


BurnetAggie99
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BenFiasco14
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Seven Costanza said:

BenFiasco14 said:

I've luckily not dealt with anything too weird, best I have to offer is an ex gf planting jewelry at my place after the break up so that she would HAVE to come back to get it.


LMAO, yes! This is why I will always say Seinfeld is the most relatable show ever. still holds true despite the technological advancements

Also, username checks out
CNN is an enemy of the state and should be treated as such.
johnrth
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I have an ex girlfriend that occasionally stalks me even though we broke up 16yrs ago. I stop at the gas station every morning to get coffee and sun flower seeds and about a year ago she randomly started going to this gas station every morning too, even though it was out of her way. So I started changing up my routine and the times I stopped. The girls working at the gas station figured out she was a stalker when she would wait around awhile until I came in or didn't. About 4.5yrs ago my daughter was going to this one daycare and we pulled her out because of some issues and like a month later the stalker got a job there thinking we still took my daughter there. Just found out last night that she is now about to start working at the current daycare my son goes to and is going to be my sons teacher. We're noping the eff out and are looking for a new daycare asap. B***es be crazy.
BurnetAggie99
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Dr. Faustus
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The Wonderer said:

Faked a pregnancy and miscarriage.


+1

Not a gf, but a girl I hooked up with a few times.

She wanted more, and I said no thanks. Comes back a week or so later saying she's pregnant. She played the whole, "We'd both be really good parents, we should try a relationship for the sake of the kid, etc" angle. I said hell no, not even for the sake of the kid. She got pissy and said she was going to alienate me from all my friends and a business I helped build after she told them what a terrible person I am. I told her good ****ing luck.

I calmed down after a few days and figured she was bluffing the more I thought about it and scrutinized the timeline - start to end this had all happened in like 4 or 5 weeks. Saw her drinking with some mutual friends one Saturday afternoon before she knew I had shown up to the bar, and that made it obvious - even though she tried to play it off with "oh it's ok to have a few - I know, I'm a PA."

Decided to play nice for about a week after that where I told her about all my "life problems" and how I just couldn't be in a relationship right now, even with a kid on the way. She softened up and said she "had a feeling" that she was going to have a miscarriage.

Said "miscarriage" happened a few days later. Promptly told her to **** off and never talk to me again. She moved away not too long after that.

Heard she was engaged recently. I pity that poor *******.

TLDR; crazy ***** tried to sucker me into a relationship with a fake pregnancy, then had a fake miscarriage after I fake-opened up to her and she wasn't mad at me.
Uncle Howdy
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Pregnancy scare
BenFiasco14
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Tecolote
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johnrth said:

I have an ex girlfriend that occasionally stalks me even though we broke up 16yrs ago. I stop at the gas station every morning to get coffee and sun flower seeds and about a year ago she randomly started going to this gas station every morning too, even though it was out of her way. So I started changing up my routine and the times I stopped. The girls working at the gas station figured out she was a stalker when she would wait around awhile until I came in or didn't. About 4.5yrs ago my daughter was going to this one daycare and we pulled her out because of some issues and like a month later the stalker got a job there thinking we still took my daughter there. Just found out last night that she is now about to start working at the current daycare my son goes to and is going to be my sons teacher. We're noping the eff out and are looking for a new daycare asap. B***es be crazy.
Hope your kids do not have any pet rabbits.
Tecolote
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IrishTxAggie said:

Been cheated on before. Trust no one until there's a ring on it. Also, I said 'OR' not 'AND'.
Holy **** - you think a ring will stop cheating!
IrishTxAggie
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Och26-58-87 said:

IrishTxAggie said:

Been cheated on before. Trust no one until there's a ring on it. Also, I said 'OR' not 'AND'.
Holy **** - you think a ring will stop cheating!


Not really. I think I'd have a tendency to be more trusting then though. I'm a realist. Not delusional.
Uncle Howdy
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IrishTxAggie said:

Och26-58-87 said:

IrishTxAggie said:

Been cheated on before. Trust no one until there's a ring on it. Also, I said 'OR' not 'AND'.
Holy **** - you think a ring will stop cheating!


Not really. I think I'd have a tendency to be more trusting than though. I'm a realist. Not delusional.


More trusting than what?
 
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