What Would you Do if You Got Zapped Back in Time?

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3rd and 2
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10:30a, 2/1/18
AG
I read a book called Lest Darkness Falls about a guy that gets zapped back in time 1700 years. The dude helps Italy and the rest of Europe out of the dark ages by introducing different ideas and technologies over the course of the book. It's a pretty good book.

I'd probably get eaten by wolves or murdered by highwaymen in the first 30 minutes after getting zapped back. What about you? Do you have any special skills that would help you out?
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Schrute
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10:31a, 2/1/18
2 chicks at one time
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3rd and 2
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In reply to Schrute • 10:32a, 2/1/18
AG
Schrute said:
2 chicks at one time
Awwwwww yeah.
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swc93
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10:46a, 2/1/18
AG
I would teach everyone about the dangers of lead paint, Germany (aka Prussia) and moving slowly while on the left.
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lotsofhp
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11:04a, 2/1/18
AG
I'd go back and bang all the chicks that obviously wanted my d but I was too young and naive to know it.
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chiken
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In reply to lotsofhp • 11:05a, 2/1/18
AG
lotsofhp said:
I'd go back and bang all the chicks that obviously wanted my d but I was too young and naive to know it.
there's still time, luv-er
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Dad-O-Lot
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11:06a, 2/1/18
AG
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Milwaukees Best Light
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11:06a, 2/1/18
AG
I would prepare stone tablets telling my future self to not get zapped back in time. I would also hide some valuable antiquities for myself to find and become rich as a result. In between all these tasks, I would find time for two chicks at the same time, 1700's bush and all.
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chipotle
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11:07a, 2/1/18
What if you go back and bang a chick that's somehow related to you? Does that mean you wouldn't have existed if you didn't travel back in time? But you wouldn't exist at all because there was noone before to create you...

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lotsofhp
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11:10a, 2/1/18
AG
I don't mean to brag. There's just a few instances where I wish I would have had better situational awareness
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Humorous Username
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11:11a, 2/1/18
AG
Destroy as much as possible, thus leading to:

- Massive fortune
- Large mansion
- Well-behaved children
- Sisters-in-law dead
- Donuts raining from the sky
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agnerd
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11:11a, 2/1/18
AG
Bet on sports, buy stocks, and start filing for patents for stuff that hasn't been invented yet. Edison's gonna be pissed when I invent the lightbulb on the first try!
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WC87
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11:13a, 2/1/18
AG
I'd go and become King of Europe with all my fancy tools I'd invent. I'd prove the earth was round using a stick and a dewberry. I'd probably kick Galileo's ass. I'd scoff at the plague because I got a flu shot in the future. I'd boil me and my wench's water and my kingdom would never get dysentery. I'd invent the telegraph and drill an oil well. I'd likely take kickass naps.
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Uncle Howdy
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In reply to agnerd • 11:15a, 2/1/18
S
agnerd said:
Bet on sports, buy stocks, and start filing for patents for stuff that hasn't been invented yet. Edison's gonna be pissed when I invent the lightbulb on the first try!
That almanac from 300AD would finally come in handy!
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bac
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11:15a, 2/1/18
AG
I'd know not to click on this thread.

/GB User
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PrestigeWorldwideAg12
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11:16a, 2/1/18
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Athanasius
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11:21a, 2/1/18
AG
'Dark Ages' is a term used by propagandists.
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Martin Q. Blank
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In reply to 3rd and 2 • 11:34a, 2/1/18
Maroon Stormtrooper said:
I read a book called Lest Darkness Falls about a guy that gets zapped back in time 1700 years. The dude helps Italy and the rest of Europe out of the dark ages by introducing different ideas and technologies over the course of the book. It's a pretty good book.

I'd probably get eaten by wolves or murdered by highwaymen in the first 30 minutes after getting zapped back. What about you? Do you have any special skills that would help you out?
1700 years ago they didn't speak English. So I'd probably be identified as a Barbarian and slaughtered.
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Bruce Almighty
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11:39a, 2/1/18
AG
I'd probably be dead within a week considering I wouldn't be able to understand a word people were saying and I have no idea how to fight with a sword.
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mike_ags_fan12
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11:44a, 2/1/18
Invent fidget spinners
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Ginormus Ag
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11:47a, 2/1/18
AG
Start my own religion. Ginormousanity. Probably wouldn't take since the foundation would be eating a lot, sleeping a lot, acting like your better than everyone else, and not helping anyone.
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boboguitar
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11:48a, 2/1/18
AG
People in this thread are over-estimating how much they know about current technology.

Sure you know how to use something but I doubt most could build it from scratch.
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powerbelly
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In reply to boboguitar • 11:51a, 2/1/18
AG
boboguitar said:
People in this thread are over-estimating how much they know about current technology.

Sure you know how to use something but I doubt most could build it from scratch.
They are also underestimating the language barrier.
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COOL LASER FALCON
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11:53a, 2/1/18
I think rolling luggage is the only thing I could contribute in this situation.
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VikingNik
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12:03p, 2/1/18
AG
Going back 1700 years means nearly everyone is fooked. Unless you can speak Latin or whatever the invading hordes speak at the time. You will be killed within days. Also a scratch would probably end up proving fatal. If it is a jump of 50-100 years I will leave letters to my future self in 1980 or something to buy every share of Microsoft that I can and then dump as much as possible into Apple and Amazon without raising suspicion.
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Athanasius
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1:37p, 2/1/18
AG
Worship in horror and hope at the foot of the Cross.
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SeattleAgJr
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In reply to powerbelly • 1:44p, 2/1/18
powerbelly said:
boboguitar said:
People in this thread are over-estimating how much they know about current technology.

Sure you know how to use something but I doubt most could build it from scratch.
They are also underestimating the language barrier.
and their immunity to the crap that was going around in the past.
STDs, influenza, plague, etc.
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1:48p, 2/1/18
3rd and 2
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In reply to [removed post] • 1:52p, 2/1/18
AG
ac04 said:
i would meet my ancestors when they're in roman high school and unintentionally interrupt the moment when they were supposed to meet. i'd then have to come up with a wacky scheme to make sure they fall in love to guarantee my existence in the future. at the same time i'd be working on a way to get back to the present so i could save the life of zany scientist who sent me back in time in the first place.
You should make a movie out of that!
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AggieDarlin
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1:58p, 2/1/18
AG
Probably try to pet a dog before I die
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Dad-O-Lot
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1:59p, 2/1/18
AG
Assuming I got zapped back to the year 318 but stayed in the same physical location, I would be in a world of hurt.

What existed in Central Texas in the year 318?

I suppose I would try to carve images of technology in the limestone and really freak out future archaeologists.
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Dad-O-Lot
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2:21p, 2/1/18
AG
An even better idea

Write dirty limericks that predict the future:

"There once was a man from Little Rock..."

A new world Nostradamus

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Thomas Sowell, PhD
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3:08p, 2/1/18
AG
I wouldn't abuse my body or treat it like an amusement park therefore avoiding carpal tunnel syndrome and blindness.
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$3 Sack of Groceries
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3:26p, 2/1/18
AG
I would (once again) thank God I was white.
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80s Guy
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In reply to Dad-O-Lot • 3:37p, 2/1/18
Dad-O-Lot said:
Assuming I got zapped back to the year 318 but stayed in the same physical location, I would be in a world of hurt.

What existed in Central Texas in the year 318?

I suppose I would try to carve images of technology in the limestone and really freak out future archaeologists.


Since it is just up the road from where I live, I would bury something in the Mt. Carmel compound to affirm David Koresh is the proper leader of Scientology.
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