Wangus' post brought up an interesting thought since it seems that this once common practice is not necessarily as popular anymore.

Personally I'm still a traditionalist and have every intention of doing it if I ever get married. Not sure I'd ask for permission. I'd probably ask for their blessing. Because I'll propose either way.

I plan to. But like you said, will probably frame it more as asking for a blessing.

I didn't. I actually decided to propose at graduation at the last minute and had already told her folks they shouldn't bother coming to graduation. So I didn't really have a window, and my now-inlaws would have given it away, anyway.

I asked for her father's blessing during a round of golf.

I asked for her parents blessing

I asked for permission the first time when I had a ring bought, prior to finding out my ex was hooking up with a coworker at her new job.

With my current gf, I'll ask for both her parent's blessing this time round since they are split.

This is one of the stupidest things ever. You're two adults. No need to ask permission for anything. Unless you're under 18...then you're just an idiot for getting married too young.

Plus my wife's dad doesn't speak English that well so even if I wanted to it would have been really awkward.

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Plus my wife's dad doesn't speak English that well

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Foreigners stealing Wifing jobs from hard working Americans.

Beerosch said:

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This is one of the stupidest things ever. You're two adults. No need to ask permission for anything. Unless you're under 18...then you're just an idiot for getting married too young.

Plus my wife's dad doesn't speak English that well so even if I wanted to it would have been really awkward.

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This. Let's not pretend I haven't already banged your daughter and we can avoid the awkward encounter of me asking permission to keep banging your daughter for the rest of her life.

I don't consider it asking permission.

Asking for the parent's blessing, however, is a good move.

So far I've only had 1 daughter get married.

Her husband asked me if I minded if he dated her first. (She was 18, he was 26)

A few years later he told me he wanted to ask her to marry him and he wanted to know what I thought about it.

He's a good husband and son-in-law.

I don't think it would have made any real difference if he didn't ask, as long as she was happy about it.

I asked because I was raised to respect my elders.

Beer Baron said:

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Plus my wife's dad doesn't speak English that well

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Foreigners stealing Wifing jobs from hard working Americans.

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They priced themselves out of the competitive market

went over to her parents house and asked for their blessing. her parents were very confused. apparently, in Venezuela, the couple is supposed to go together and talk about it.

her mother who speaks some english but not great responded immediately with "well, where is (wife's name)?"

i was completely confused. it took me a moment to process.

not only did I ask permission but I flew to virginia to do so. would have done it 100 times over. i hope my future SIL asks me for my daughters hand in marriage.

My husband asked my dad. I am a huge daddy's girl, and a little old school, so it was important to me. I knew my dad wouldn't say no, and so did my husband, but it was still something I wanted done. My dad has since said it wasn't necessary, but he too appreciated my husband asking.

I asked by including my father-in-law with the trip and decision to pick out the ring. Glad I did, because he died from cancer before the wife and I made it official. The ring holds sentimental value for my wife knowing her father helped me pick her ring.

I haven't asked anyone new since the last time this thread came up. Still married to the original Mrs. Drawkcab.

I went to her parent's house and asked her Dad for permission. Surprisingly he was cool about it.

I asked my SO to ask my dad. I thought it was the respectable thing to do

I was on very good terms with the future in-laws and was already treated like part of the family, so I did. Actually, I didn't really ask permission....I pulled her father aside and informed him that I would be asking her to marry me in the near future.

If the father and daughter are close (ie, she's "Daddy's Little Girl" ), then I would suggest swallowing any of that macho bullsh*t pride you spout off about on message boards and at least let your future father-in-law know that it's coming. Otherwise, you're already off to a bad start and may have to consider doing this with your second wife.

TSUAggie said:

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This. Let's not pretend I haven't already banged your daughter and we can avoid the awkward encounter of me asking permission to keep banging your daughter for the rest of her life.

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There is... truth... in your words.

Beerosch said:

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This is one of the stupidest things ever. You're two adults. No need to ask permission for anything. Unless you're under 18...then you're just an idiot for getting married too young.

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You're asking to join their family - replace him as his daughter's security & livelyhood - receive his inheritence - and on top of all of that, you'll be indirectly responsible for his wife when he dies. Call it a dumb formality if you want, but do it if for no other reason than to advance your relationship with him.

Not to mention, you've got to consider political alliances with other families of means throughout the entire Kingdom!

GiveEmHellBill said:

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I was on very good terms with the future in-laws and was already treated like part of the family, so I did. Actually, I didn't really ask permission....I pulled her father aside and informed him that I would be asking her to marry me in the near future.

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This accurately describes what I did too.

Furlock Bones said:

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went over to her parents house and asked for their blessing. her parents were very confused. apparently, in Venezuela, the couple is supposed to go together and talk about it.

her mother who speaks some english but not great responded immediately with "well, where is (wife's name)?"

i was completely confused. it took me a moment to process.

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Being from Venezuela this made me LOL hard

when I showed my parents the ring I had purchased and told them I was proposing to my now wife, they went apeshiz...(BROKENEST ENGLISH EVER): 'But where is she? where are her parents? we need to discuss this!

Get Off My Lawn said:

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Beerosch said:

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This is one of the stupidest things ever. You're two adults. No need to ask permission for anything. Unless you're under 18...then you're just an idiot for getting married too young.

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You're asking to join their family - replace him as his daughter's security & livelyhood - receive his inheritence - and on top of all of that, you'll be indirectly responsible for his wife when he dies. Call it a dumb formality if you want, but do it if for no other reason than to advance your relationship with him.

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This X1000

I'm the one that found him dead and stayed with him (for what seemed like hours) so that my MIL and wife didn't have to. I'm also the one that will most likely have to do the same for the MIL.

Is it a formality, YES. Should you do it anyway. Yes

I asked.

I asked. It was the last conversation we had before he passed. Very glad I did so.

gambochaman said:

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Furlock Bones said:

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went over to her parents house and asked for their blessing. her parents were very confused. apparently, in Venezuela, the couple is supposed to go together and talk about it.

her mother who speaks some english but not great responded immediately with "well, where is (wife's name)?"

i was completely confused. it took me a moment to process.

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Being from Venezuela this made me LOL hard

when I showed my parents the ring I had purchased and told them I was proposing to my now wife, they went apeshiz...(BROKENEST ENGLISH EVER): 'But where is she? where are her parents? we need to discuss this!

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i'm glad someone knows what i'm talking about. when i texted them that i wanted to come over and talk, i figured they already knew what was up.

not at all.

This is not about permission or blessings, but about respect for your future in-laws. Certainly you don't have to ask for anything, but I believe it is the respectful thing to do.

I did. It's simply a gesture of respect that will be reciprocated over time.

Furlock Bones said:

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gambochaman said:

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Furlock Bones said:

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went over to her parents house and asked for their blessing. her parents were very confused. apparently, in Venezuela, the couple is supposed to go together and talk about it.

her mother who speaks some english but not great responded immediately with "well, where is (wife's name)?"

i was completely confused. it took me a moment to process.

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Being from Venezuela this made me LOL hard

when I showed my parents the ring I had purchased and told them I was proposing to my now wife, they went apeshiz...(BROKENEST ENGLISH EVER): 'But where is she? where are her parents? we need to discuss this!

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i'm glad someone knows what i'm talking about. when i texted them that i wanted to come over and talk, i figured they already knew what was up.

not at all.

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Did not ask for permission, asked for his blessing. He thought I was asking for his permission haha

At the end of the conversation he said, "so when are y'all going to go buy a ring?" I laughed and said I already have it, I'm proposing next week. He had this stupid look on his face and said well what if I didn't give you permission. I stood up and shook his hand and told him, I wasn't asking for your permission.

I can't stand my in laws, but it was important to my wife so I did it out of respect for her.

I asked my father-in-law for permission. Kinda wish he would have said no knowing what I know now.

jk - I love my children.