1 is not enough!!!

EOT!

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The real answer is that 1 is not enough. You have to have at least 2 to replace yourselves. But don't worry about it. Because of your selfishness, some immigrant will take the place of your second child in the population of the next generation.

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Isn't this line of thinking actually racist by the true definition of the word?

The implication is that my children's race is superior to an immigrants and thus more valued.

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Who said the immigrant wasn't the same race as your child. Us white people tend to forget that Canadians and Europeans can be immigrants too.

This thread is an interesting read. We discussed and came to terms with things ahead of time. We agreed on 2 kids, about 3 years apart. We also discussed contingency plans about getting pregnant and discussed them with my OB/GYN before we started trying to conceive. We knew how long we would try and when we would go back if nothing happened. We also decided that we would try IUI if needed, but if it came down to IVF we would use that money to adopt a child instead. Maybe we are unusual, but I assumed that most people talked about these things before they got married.

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1 is not enough!!!

EOT!

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As an only child, I agree.

For the kid, it gets boring quite often.

For the parent, that bored kid is going to be up your ass all the time trying to find SOMETHING to do.

I honestly didn't mean it to be racist. I meant it as a culture preserver, family history bearer, boost to society. It is ethnocentric, I copped to that.

I never said it was, boboguitar did

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For the parent, that bored kid is going to be up your ass all the time trying to find SOMETHING to do.

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I think this depends on the kid. My 2 year-old daughter is essentially an only child 50% of the time (more, really if you count the hours that the stepkids are in school), and she is independent in the extreme. She would play by herself all day if I didn't make an effort to engage with her. The only time she ever approaches me for anything is if she's hungry or wants me to read to her.

I will pray for you Ragoo.

yeah. I was just adding to your comment. Sorry for the confusion. I guess I cannot communicate properly today. Peace out.

It's only racist for people who only see the world in terms of skin color. The fact that that's the first place they go shows a very closed-minded view of the world and an inclination to always find something to label "injustice" or "unfairness".

enough for what?

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This thread is an interesting read. We discussed and came to terms with things ahead of time. We agreed on 2 kids, about 3 years apart. We also discussed contingency plans about getting pregnant and discussed them with my OB/GYN before we started trying to conceive. We knew how long we would try and when we would go back if nothing happened. We also decided that we would try IUI if needed, but if it came down to IVF we would use that money to adopt a child instead. Maybe we are unusual, but I assumed that most people talked about these things before they got married.

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you got married a little later in life I presume. At 23 this was no where close to topic of conversation. More like, do you want kids? Yes? Okay, we will figure it out in a couple of years.

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This thread is an interesting read. We discussed and came to terms with things ahead of time. We agreed on 2 kids, about 3 years apart. We also discussed contingency plans about getting pregnant and discussed them with my OB/GYN before we started trying to conceive. We knew how long we would try and when we would go back if nothing happened. We also decided that we would try IUI if needed, but if it came down to IVF we would use that money to adopt a child instead. Maybe we are unusual, but I assumed that most people talked about these things before they got married.

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You crossed a lot of bridges that you may not have ever had to cross. Some don't worry about such things until you get there.

Yes you need to have a general agreement on whether you are going to have kids and about how many. Past that is just worrying about things you may never have to deal with.

We still don't have a consensus on how many we want. Some days we say 2, some days we say 3. We shall see

We decided on contingency plans because we wanted to have hard decisions already at least discussed so that we wouldn't be consumed with raw emotion while trying to figure out the next step. In our case we decided that we would rather spend money working towards adoption rather than gambling on IVF. I understand why people might prefer one way or the other, so we just figured out our preferences ahead of time. Thankfully we did not have to contend with that. Our sweet girl is 12 weeks old today!
And yes, I was married later in life. I was 31 and my husband was 35.
Best of luck to you, Ragoo. I can't imagine how difficult infertility must be.

Que es dos ninos??