Jeppson's Malört

29,976 Views | 118 Replies | Last: 1 yr ago by QBCade
Know Your Enemy
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5:44p, 5/15/16
AG
quote:
Malort, kick your mouth in the balls!
Malort, when you need to unfriend someone IN PERSON.
Malort, tonight's the night you fight your dad.
Malort, the Champagne of pain.
Malort, turning taste-buds into taste-foes for generations.
Drink Malort, it's easier than telling people you have nothing to live for.
Malort, what soap washes its mouth out with.
Malort, these pants aren't going to sh** themselves.
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Swarely
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In reply to EFE • 6:10p, 5/15/16
I want to keep those guys as clients though!
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TexAgs1992
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6:42p, 5/15/16
My grandfather grew up in Chicago and used to have a shot of it before I ever ate dinner with him. I tried it for the first time last month while at a tavern in Chicago. It was bad but not the worst alcohol I've tried. Packs a punch for sure.
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TyHolden
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In reply to Know Your Enemy • 6:43p, 5/15/16
AG
quote:
quote:
Malort, kick your mouth in the balls!
Malort, when you need to unfriend someone IN PERSON.
Malort, tonight's the night you fight your dad.
Malort, the Champagne of pain.
Malort, turning taste-buds into taste-foes for generations.
Drink Malort, it's easier than telling people you have nothing to live for.
Malort, what soap washes its mouth out with.
Malort, these pants aren't going to sh** themselves.

Next year's white elephant locked up
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Know Your Enemy
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8:48p, 4/12/17
AG


Apparently this is now available in Austin.
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superunknown
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9:03p, 4/12/17
AG
Malrt
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Drawkcab
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In reply to Know Your Enemy • 1:45a, 4/13/17
Ha! I read those slogans in this thread but somehow him reading "Kick your mouth in the balls" still made me lol.
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EFE
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9:57a, 4/14/17
AG
Lots of good laughs in this thread
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agcrock2005
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11:12a, 4/14/17
AG
I really want to buy a bottle of this to **** with people but I'm never in Chicago. I got pranked into trying that **** a few months ago and it's ****ing AWFUL!
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Swarely
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In reply to EFE • 11:33a, 4/14/17
Should I bring this down for you?
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Know Your Enemy
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In reply to agcrock2005 • 11:34a, 4/14/17
AG
agcrock2005 said:
I really want to buy a bottle of this to **** with people but I'm never in Chicago. I got pranked into trying that **** a few months ago and it's ****ing AWFUL!
See my post above. It is available in Austin now.
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EFE
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In reply to Swarely • 11:35a, 4/14/17
AG
Polite pass
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Swarely
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In reply to Know Your Enemy • 11:57a, 4/14/17
Where in Austin?
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gigemags-99
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12:58p, 4/14/17
AG
Quote:
Malort, turning taste-buds into taste-foes for generations.


Okay. This is funny!
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Corps_Ag12
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In reply to Swarely • 1:03p, 4/14/17
AG
Yes, please share!
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Know Your Enemy
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In reply to Swarely • 1:24p, 4/14/17
AG
AP4P2020 said:
Where in Austin?
NAME: The Austin Shaker

ADDRESS: 1199 Airport Blvd Austin, Texas
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Corps_Ag12
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In reply to Know Your Enemy • 1:39p, 4/14/17
AG
Thanks
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Swarely
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In reply to Know Your Enemy • 1:43p, 4/14/17
Bueno
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agcrock2005
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In reply to Swarely • 3:37p, 4/14/17
AG
AP4P2020 said:
Where in Austin?
The Austin Shaker

Called them and they have "lots". I'm picking one up on Saturday and will hilariously gross people out for years.
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ThunderCougarFalconBird
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4:52p, 4/14/17
AG
I'm surprised we haven't seen some sort of United Airlines is the Jepson Malort of airlines joke yet.
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Swarely
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10:12p, 12/16/20


The malort fairy visited today
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Cromagnum
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10:38p, 12/16/20
AG
I have a bottle of this hanging around from a Chicago trip a couple years ago. It honestly doesn't taste like much of anything to me.
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nai06
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In reply to Cromagnum • 11:18p, 12/16/20
AG
Cromagnum said:
I have a bottle of this hanging around from a Chicago trip a couple years ago. It honestly doesn't taste like much of anything to me.
maybe you should get a covid test
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BBRex
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12:38a, 12/17/20
AG
I've had Malort a few times, and it isn't that bad. I'm not sure how a group of people who probably lick bootyhole on the reg can't handle some funny-tasting alcohol.
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John Francis Donaghy
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1:01a, 12/17/20
I enjoy Malort. Not sure why it gets such a bad rap.
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Cromagnum
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In reply to nai06 • 5:27a, 12/17/20
AG
nai06 said:
Cromagnum said:
I have a bottle of this hanging around from a Chicago trip a couple years ago. It honestly doesn't taste like much of anything to me.
maybe you should get a covid test


Actually just did to have a couple of surgeries in the hospital. Negative both times on covid.
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Leeman
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8:52a, 12/17/20
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Ornlu
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6:40p, 12/29/20
AG
So.... Where can I buy this in TX again?
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Cromagnum
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In reply to Ornlu • 11:52a, 12/30/20
AG
Ornlu said:
So.... Where can I buy this in TX again?


I dont think you can. I had a coworker snag me a bottle (its only like $20) when he was up in Chicago one time.
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Swarely
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In reply to Ornlu • 12:26p, 12/30/20
The Austin Shaker used to have a few bottles. Not sure if they got busted for selling it yet. If you're in austin and they don't have any, I'll give you one of my mini bottles.
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goodAg80
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12:40p, 12/30/20
AG
This is the info that I came for
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GAC06
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In reply to Ornlu • 3:19p, 12/30/20
AG
Ornlu said:
So.... Where can I buy this in TX again?


Specs in Dallas has it
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Swarely
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7:12p, 10/9/21


Cheers you ruffians
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superunknown
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7:18p, 10/9/21
AG
Busted my bottle out for a combo housewarming/going away party and I started off explaining it by saying "this may very well be the worst alcohol...no, the worst *thing* you've ever tasted" and the person who is going away interrupted me by saying "why is your bottle half empty then?!?"
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Tomdoss92
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In reply to superunknown • 2:59p, 10/11/21
AG
superunknown said:
Busted my bottle out for a combo housewarming/going away party and I started off explaining it by saying "this may very well be the worst alcohol...no, the worst *thing* you've ever tasted" and the person who is going away interrupted me by saying "why is your bottle half empty then?!?"
sharing is caring!
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