if you find yourself lost in the woods, **** it, build a house. 'I was lost but now I live here! I have significantly improved my predicament!'

Mitch is/was the man

"Sure, but can you FARM?!"


Favorite Hedberg joke.

Here's a picture of me when I was younger. Every picture of you is a picture of when you were younger. Why doesn't anyone say that?

My belt holds my pants up, but the belt loops hold my belt up. I don't really know what's happening down there. Who is the real hero?

i wish, just once, that i could go fishing and catch a fish stick. that would be convenient.

quote:

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Here's a picture of me when I was younger. Every picture of you is a picture of when you were younger. Why doesn't anyone say that?

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"here's a picture of me when I'm older."

"where the feck did you get that camera?"

[This message has been edited by OleDublinBobcat (edited 10/10/2012 5:18p).]

I saw a lady on T.V. She was born without arms. Literally, she was born with her hands attached to her shoulders... and that was sad, but then they said, "Lola does not know the meaning of the word 'can't.'" And that to me was kinda worse... in a way... ya know? Not only does she not have arms, but she doesn't understand simple contractions. It's very simple, Lola, you just take two words, you put them together, then you take out the middle letter, you put a comma in there and you raise it up!

"I like sports...wait a minute, no I don't, what the ****?"