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"no normal kid would ask to see another girl's privates on his own".

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what kind of dumbf*** is that guy? holy carp.

Caught my little girl and the neighbor boy doing the same thing.

I sent the boy home and informed his parents of the situation.

That being said I did not give him the perma ban. If they played together it had to be in plain sight from that point on. No more closed doors.

sounds to me like the other parents are being a little over sensative to say the least.

Try talking to them and give them assurances that it will never happen again.

I wonder how societies whose children walk around naked until (or even after) puberty deal with this?

Like in Finland?

your kid is normal and the other parents are over reacting now if it keeps happening might need some correcting

This is normal

We have a child predator on our hands.

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Only solution is to bang the guys wife while his daughter watches

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oh geez

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Only solution is to bang the guys wife while his daughter watches

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man, i wouldnt f that chick with a borrowed d

Ugly and churchy...you don't want your kid hanging around with them anyway. Yikes.

really fine line created by truly sick adults and the media who tells the world about it

what the two kids did was normal but not acceptable and what the parents did and continue to do is worse

the kids each needed to hear learning about their bodies is fine but there are books to show them the differences, not neighbors and they were to never remove their clothes for anyone except their parents and their doctors.

I will add that puberty is happening earlier and earlier so prepare your kids. Explain about body changes as they happen so the doses are in smaller amounts.

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man, i wouldnt f that chick with a borrowed d

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Not even to defend your child's honor? More poor parenting.

Our 5 year old has gone to the same daycare/preschool since she was 7 weeks old. Once it got to the point where they were helping us with potty training, they didn't separate the boy/girls. They said if you didn't make a big deal out of it, they wouldn't get curious. You'd just say, "boys have this, girls have that". So now that they are 5 & 6, it's no big deal. They go in different bathrooms now, but it isn't a big deal and we haven't had a playing doctor issue. We've told Maya nobody should be seeing her privates except her and us at bath time.

And we really don't hide nakedness in the house either. I guess I should say, we don't make it a big deal and freak out if we're changing and she comes in. BE, for obvious reasons, covers up more than I do. If she has a question, we answer it. She needs to know the difference between men and women. The way it was explained to us, the more you explained at home, the less "curious" she'd be later.

I think the other parents are going overboard. I'd just watch the kids a little better next time. And they are 6, all of the parents should have had this discussion with the kids already. Same with the strangers discussion. Seems they've fallen behind.

absolutely, home is where the early education should begin!

Because of age my parents were less open to discussion but readily said, if you have questions we will help you find answers...we saw both of them in underwear regularly. I brought the girls up explaining about periods and that if the bathroom door was closed they needed to knock first. When their cycles started no one was freaked out or scared.

I am not advocating the family bath but seeing parents' differences and talking about it during calm times is a whole lot better than yelling at a kid who just wants to know the differences.

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they were to never remove their clothes for anyone except their parents and their doctors.

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There's a reason it's called Playing Doctor.

It's normal and most every kid does it. I would think a kid who doesn't is more worthy of concern.

Ha...yeah no family baths.

But when Maya was younger than 2 she asked why daddy had a tail. It was when she was just starting to put sentences together. We busted out laughing, then asked the teachers what they were calling it at school during potty training so we could be consistent, then sat her down and explained the differences between boys and girls. After that we were a little more careful around the house changing. But at less than 2 yrs old, we hadn't really thought about it.

Every once and a while she'll ask questions like "Can boys have babies or just girls" or "Do all girls have baby making parts?" and "what do they look like?" (I told her it looked like a longhorn) I'll explain why, draw it out for her, or find a kid friendly site on the internet to show her. Kids are very curious, and the parent should to be the one to show them. The child has to know that they can come to you for anything, and it starts at this age. It shouldn't be embarrassing.

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But when Maya was younger than 2 she asked why daddy had a tail.

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I laughed out loud at the thought of Skran having a tail

When my girl was born, her 2-year-old brother asked us where her pe**s was and why she has two bottoms.

Once she got a little older she got really confused because she tried to copy her brother and pee standing up, but got frustrated because she couldn't find her pe**s.

[This message has been edited by Neuroticag (edited 7/18/2012 1:15p).]

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and why she two bottoms.

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why she has two bottoms.

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But when Maya was younger than 2 she asked why daddy had a tail.

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I laughed out loud at the thought of Skran having a tail

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the problem was she began telling everyone, "hey, did you know my daddy has a tail???" I even have a picture she drew at school of skran complete with the tail. Lol. TOO OBSERVANT for a 2 year old!

"Two bottoms" KIDS haha!

When I was 7 or 8, this girl and I played a game of you kiss mine if I kiss yours. It was awesome. Then we laid in her bed, clothed, with her on top while Bruce Springsteen played on her cassette player and kissed on the lips (but not french because that was nasty).

Most Parents act is if thought they came into the world at age 45...

Kids will be kids, its how you learn... for God's sake.

Parents think their kids are perfect... Drive's me insane.

We had couple that would roll their eyes whenever our 1 year old would, cry, poop, you name it. You could see it written on their faces, "our child will never poop in front of company" the will only eat, go to bed, nap at this time!!!!

They were rewarded with twin boys!!!! about 6 months later, we were all of a sudden much smarter than they had originally calculated!

We are the koolaide house, told the wife, make it happen. Was better when they were younger... Now I can lose 200 dollars of groceries in an afternoon...

Didn't read thread but has the topic of kids humping things (couches, pillows, peoples legs) come up? Sooooooo creepy.

Any more opinions fro the evening crew?

Totally normal. Kids play doctor, house, etc. Don't know what to do about the other parents. I mean, how do you educate the uneducated?
Eta: give them the link to this thread.

[This message has been edited by violiav (edited 7/18/2012 11:10p).]

Get him a smart phone so he can discretely look at porn like the rest of us

here is a thought the other dad may be over reacting to put the spot light on your family instead of his to avoid getting caught like sandusky. CPS should be avoided unless you are absolutely sure they are needed.

Dan is a meanie poo!

Totally normal psycho-social behavior from a child. It is natural for children to be curious of others, if your child is not curious something may be wrong with them!

Any health professional will tell you that curiosity is ok and that your child is not weird in anyway.

As for the other parents flipping out is just ignorance, they want to believe their child is perfect and anything they did in the situation of the show and tell was not their fault.

I would not consider this having anything to do with parenting unless this was involving teenagers.

serious response

Your kid (and the other kid) did nothing wrong.

You handled your kid about right

The first parent sounds like a jackass and completely over reacted. He should have just taking your kid back to you and then talked to his kid.

The other parents getting involved is insane and they sound like hypersensitive dicks. How long they hold on to this is where the problem comes in. If someone came over and told me that they caught their kid and the neighbor's kid playing Dr, I would give a chuckle and say "I remember the first time I did that"

If the parents continue to hold on to this crazy thought that your kid is a rapist in training until the kids are in 3rd grade, your kid might need to change schools, because he won't ever shake it after that.

Thanks for all the responses. I sent them a brochure about normal behavior as well as a professional letter outlining my feelings in the matter. This was the brochure...

http://nctsn.org/nctsn_assets/pdfs/caring/sexualdevelopmentandbehavior.pdf


Here is the letter I sent...

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July 18, 2012




Dear XXXX and XXXX


First of all I would like to apologize for XXXXXX’s actions. It was inappropriate and he has been reprimanded, informed and punished. He says that this will never happen again. He was even grown up enough to come apologize to both XXXX and XXXXX on his own accord, with us only asking him “what would be the RIGHT thing to do” Now we are faced with the new problem of XXXXX feeling like a sexual deviant and being “Blacklisted” from playing with the neighborhood children, for doing what we feel is a completely normal, although inappropriate thing. We understand your uneasiness about the children playing together unsupervised, but we feel that forbidding them to play sends the wrong message to everybody, especially the children. What XXXX AND XXXX did was natural. And even though XXXX asked XXXXX to “show him hers” she did not have to comply. He did not force or threaten her. Just a case of kids “playing doctor” And while that behavior is not acceptable in our house it is not uncommon and XXXX should not be singled out for it. Trust us, We have a daughter, and if the same thing happened we would notify the parents, but still allow them to play together in a supervised fashion.

I have attached some literature from The NCTSN, that explains about this. While I hope that someday the kids may be able to play together, you and other neighbors have a right to raise your children as you see fit and we respect your decisions. But please know that XXXX is a good kid and meant nothing by this. Nothing sexual was implied, as kids that age are just curious about their bodies and differences. They do not even think or have sexual thoughts. IF XXXX told XXXX to “keep it a secret” it was only because he didn’t want to be embarrassed or in trouble for doing something wrong. I hope that someday the kids can all be friends again.


Regards,

XXXX and XXXX XXXX

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[This message has been edited by heineman78 (edited 7/19/2012 10:19a).]