Would have to be one of these guys:



Mark Grace - Smokes cigars like he's a chimney but proudly announces "My body is a temple." - Also pitched one inning in his career - one hit and one run 9/2/02.



David Wells - Pitches a perfect game having gone to sleep at 3 AM the night before and shows up to the park hung over.



John Kruk - Best quote... "I hate people." Plus his tobacco stains have tobacco stains.

He also looks a lot like Ogre from Revenge of the Nerds/Ray Jackson in Bloodsport:

Two words...."Slump Buster"



In case you are unaware of what a "slump buster" is....when you are in a hitting slump, you go out and randomly have sex with the fattest chick you can find in the bar, thus bringing you out of your slump.

Coolest Fantasy Team of all time...


Goliad Myra's Home Run Hitters

Cooler name...Pettus RichardMarx

I prefer Pimp City Taint. The guy that made up that homerun hitters team was a homo that couldn't hit it out of the infield. I did hear he was recruited to play QB for Prairie View, though.

I also heard he once snorted coke off a stripper's belly. Or maybe he was eating lunch... I get confused.

Without a doubt, the coolest baseball player of all time was Royals SS U.L. Washington. He played every game with 2 toothpicks in his mouth. I used to collect all of his baseball cards. In his honor, whenever I get hot chocolate in the morning I use two stirrers.

Another classic John Kruk quote: "I'm not an athlete. I'm a baseball player."

Coolest baseball player: Charlie Kerfeld (sp.?) Dude was a space cadet.





Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.

Proverbs 3:5-6 - NIV

Ron Cey

Fear the Penguin!

yeah i can second mark grace.

rod beck has to be up there on my list too.