UCMJ & Adultery

5,007 Views | 33 Replies | Last: 1 yr ago by Aggiehunter34
PlanoAg98
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
3:41p, 10/4/23
AG
I've never been in the military but was not aware that military members were subject to different laws than common law specifically adultery which is not illegal per common law.

https://veteran.com/ucmj-adultery/

I am not in the military nor am I having (or have ever had) an affair with a member of the military. I just felt I would get better responses to this subject than on the Military board versus getting ridiculed in the Zoo (General board).

My BIL (sister's husband) is making a career of the Navy (~ 25 year to date) and had a 6 month long affair on my sister before being caught. She has since filed for divorce. He's being a real ass during this time to her. I wanted to know if notifying the miliary of his adultery could be something I could threaten him with if he doesn't be more respectful during this time.
Reply Quote
2
2 edits
clarythedrill
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
4:03p, 10/4/23
Adultery is very difficult to prove. You darn near need video evidence of the event or have the 'other' person come in and corroborate the story. Is it worth a threat? Sure, but if he calls your bluff what are you going to do about it? A good old fashioned ass whooping until he pisses blood is a WAY better option here.
Reply Quote
3
CT'97
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
4:04p, 10/4/23
AG
I wouldn't threaten anything, just call his command and tell them or have a lawyer call his next higher level of command.
From what I've seen if the adultery isn't between two service members jag doesn't want to touch it.
Reply Quote
5
USAFAg
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to PlanoAg98 • 6:16p, 10/4/23
AG
Is he threatening your sister? If he is, adultry aside, call his commander if he's an officer, call his Chief if he's enlisted or just call the police and while you may not be able to prove adultry, you can make his life miserable by informing his commander/chief. I know the AF takes domestic violence VERY seriously

12thFan/Websider Since 2003
Reply Quote
5
1 edit
PlanoAg98
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to USAFAg • 6:24p, 10/4/23
AG
Quote:
Is he threatening your sister? If he is, adultry aside, call his commander if he's an officer, call his Chief if he's enlisted or just call the police and while you may not be able to prove adultry, you can make his life miserable by informing his commander/chief. I know the AF takes domestic violence VERY seriously
No physical threats. Just name calling and other crap.
Reply Quote
bigtruckguy3500
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
6:38p, 10/4/23
I've seen junior enlisted punished for this since both were in the same command, and each cheated on spouses. That being said, I've been aware of many other instances of it happening, and most people look the other way.

Weird thing happened to me once though, a woman who was going through divorce found out I was in the same command as her soon to be ex's adultress. She tried to befriend me to try and somehow get inside information on the other officer whom I didn't personally know. It got weird.
Reply Quote
1
OldArmyCT
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
5:19a, 10/5/23
AG
My GF was married 42 years (my wife died 5 years ago) to a USAF Academy grad with 20 in the Air National Guard, retired O-6. Also a Delta international pilot. She divorced him due to multiple affairs. When he was deposed her attorney asked him about affairs in different cities and since he was under oath he had to answer correctly BC he knew she knew. It really helped her case. She got half of everything, military pension and IRA's, he later tried to cut the pension part by getting VA disability but they caught him after maybe 3 years and yanked about $15K worth of back VA pay away from him to her. Have your sister tell the lawyer, the lawyer can threaten to depose both BIL and his lady friend, depending on who he was screwing he could really be screwed. My GF said once they see what is about to come out they get very compliant.
The 50% pension part is almost automatic, she'll also get other perks like an ID card and Tricare for Life, I consider TFL the most valuable asset I got from my 20 in the Army, almost as valuable as the monthly pension.
Reply Quote
4
LMCane
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to PlanoAg98 • 8:50a, 10/5/23
PlanoAg98 said:
I've never been in the military but was not aware that military members were subject to different laws than common law specifically adultery which is not illegal per common law.

https://veteran.com/ucmj-adultery/

I am not in the military nor am I having (or have ever had) an affair with a member of the military. I just felt I would get better responses to this subject than on the Military board versus getting ridiculed in the Zoo (General board).

My BIL (sister's husband) is making a career of the Navy (~ 25 year to date) and had a 6 month long affair on my sister before being caught. She has since filed for divorce. He's being a real ass during this time to her. I wanted to know if notifying the miliary of his adultery could be something I could threaten him with if he doesn't be more respectful during this time.

It could also be conduct unbecoming for an officer, conduct detrimental to unit.

The commanders of units generally will come down harder on him over him being an @#$@ during the divorce than over the adultery. It can hurt his performance annual reviews.

I was shocked how much adultery was going on when I was in the Air Force Reserves starting in 2004. Then again, there are a lot of hot women in the Air Force.

Conduct Unbecoming
Reply Quote
1
Naveronski
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
10:14a, 10/5/23
AG
Good of you to call your baby sister's husband's boss to tell on him when your sister is unable to stand up for herself, especially when he's not playing nice during a divorce.

Of course, we only have one side of the story.
Reply Quote
5
PlanoAg98
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
12:35p, 10/5/23
AG
Quote:
Of course, we only have one side of the story.
He's pissed because she going after 1/2 of his pension.
Reply Quote
Naveronski
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to PlanoAg98 • 1:31p, 10/5/23
AG
PlanoAg98 said:
Quote:
Of course, we only have one side of the story.
He's pissed because she going after 1/2 of his pension.
As he should be.
Reply Quote
4
CanyonAg77
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to Naveronski • 2:03p, 10/5/23
AG
Naveronski said:
PlanoAg98 said:
Quote:
Of course, we only have one side of the story.
He's pissed because she going after 1/2 of his pension.
As he should be.

If she has been with him for all 25 years of his military career, and he's the one who blew up the marriage, I have little sympathy for him.

He likely couldn't have had a career without her, and her career probably suffered from being a military spouse.

Reply Quote
14
Naveronski
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to CanyonAg77 • 2:25p, 10/5/23
AG
CanyonAg77 said:
Naveronski said:
PlanoAg98 said:
Quote:
Of course, we only have one side of the story.
He's pissed because she going after 1/2 of his pension.
As he should be.

If she has been with him for all 25 years of his military career, and he's the one who blew up the marriage, I have little sympathy for him.

He likely couldn't have had a career without her, and her career probably suffered from being a military spouse.

The wife could also be lazy and unwilling to work, and realizes she is about to lose her income and salary.

All of those things could be true, or not, but we don't know.

Again, we only have half the story... and really, not even half.
Reply Quote
8
PlanoAg98
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to Naveronski • 2:30p, 10/5/23
AG
Quote:
The wife could also be lazy and unwilling to work, and realizes she is about to lose her income and salary.
She works full time and makes just about as much as he does. Illinois is a 50/50 state. She has been married to him 20 of 25 years.
Reply Quote
2
Naveronski
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to PlanoAg98 • 3:29p, 10/5/23
AG
PlanoAg98 said:
Quote:
The wife could also be lazy and unwilling to work, and realizes she is about to lose her income and salary.
She works full time and makes just about as much as he does. Illinois is a 50/50 state. She has been married to him 20 of 25 years.
Then since his retirement is part of his compensation from the Navy, and she currently earns equal compensation from her job, then I stand by my earlier comment that he's not unreasonable to be angry about her coming after it.
Reply Quote
5
74OA
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to Naveronski • 3:44p, 10/5/23
AG
Naveronski said:
CanyonAg77 said:
Naveronski said:
PlanoAg98 said:
Quote:
Of course, we only have one side of the story.
He's pissed because she going after 1/2 of his pension.
As he should be.

If she has been with him for all 25 years of his military career, and he's the one who blew up the marriage, I have little sympathy for him.

He likely couldn't have had a career without her, and her career probably suffered from being a military spouse.

The wife could also be lazy and unwilling to work, and realizes she is about to lose her income and salary.

All of those things could be true, or not, but we don't know.

Again, we only have half the story... and really, not even half.

In 1982 Congress passed the Uniformed Services Former Spouse Protection Act, which allows state courts to treat disposable retired pay either as property solely of the member, or as property of the member and his spouse in accordance with the laws of the state court. A state court can now divide retired pay in any way it chooses (subject to the laws of that state). All 50 states opted to treat military pension as marital or community property.

As the wife in question apparently followed her husband from base to base around the world for 25 years supporting him, the household and their family, she's hardly lazy. She was an essential element for him being professionally successful enough to earn a pension. The Act was passed because so many military spouses were being dumped by their husbands while he walked off with a pension.

Reply Quote
9
4 edits
USAFAg
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to 74OA • 9:16p, 10/5/23
AG
74OA said:
Naveronski said:
CanyonAg77 said:
Naveronski said:
PlanoAg98 said:
Quote:
Of course, we only have one side of the story.
He's pissed because she going after 1/2 of his pension.
As he should be.

If she has been with him for all 25 years of his military career, and he's the one who blew up the marriage, I have little sympathy for him.

He likely couldn't have had a career without her, and her career probably suffered from being a military spouse.

The wife could also be lazy and unwilling to work, and realizes she is about to lose her income and salary.

All of those things could be true, or not, but we don't know.

Again, we only have half the story... and really, not even half.

In 1982 Congress passed the Uniformed Services Former Spouse Protection Act, which allows state courts to treat disposable retired pay either as property solely of the member, or as property of the member and his spouse in accordance with the laws of the state court. A state court can now divide retired pay in any way it chooses (subject to the laws of that state). All 50 states opted to treat military pension as marital or community property.

As the wife in question apparently followed her husband from base to base around the world for 25 years supporting him, the household and their family, she's hardly lazy. She was an essential element for him being professionally successful enough to earn a pension. The Act was passed because so many military spouses were being dumped by their husbands while he walked off with a pension.



This.

12thFan/Websider Since 2003
Reply Quote
2
Smeghead4761
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to Naveronski • 12:17a, 10/6/23
Naveronski said:
PlanoAg98 said:
Quote:
The wife could also be lazy and unwilling to work, and realizes she is about to lose her income and salary.
She works full time and makes just about as much as he does. Illinois is a 50/50 state. She has been married to him 20 of 25 years.
Then since his retirement is part of his compensation from the Navy, and she currently earns equal compensation from her job, then I stand by my earlier comment that he's not unreasonable to be angry about her coming after it.
Well then, maybe, just maybe, he shouldn't have f***ed around.

Because now he is finding out.
Reply Quote
15
PlanoAg98
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to Smeghead4761 • 12:28p, 10/6/23
AG
Quote:
Well then, maybe, just maybe, he shouldn't have f***ed around.

Because now he is finding out.
I told him it would have been cheaper to get an escort.
Reply Quote
1
OldArmyCT
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
12:28p, 10/6/23
AG
I had a brigade commander once who had a policy that all company commander's had to be married. Implied, not written down. I was a married 1LT and got command of the CSC in an armor battalion over about 3 senior captains with no time in command for any of them. I didn't feel bad at all. My wife was not very Army-oriented at that time, in fact she and the battalion commander's wife were on lousy terms, but I got the job and it really helped my mediocre career.
Reply Quote
Scooter_McGee
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to Naveronski • 10:49a, 10/11/23
AG
Sounds like you've been burned by a nasty divorce. Cynical much?
Reply Quote
4
Naveronski
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to 74OA • 1:29p, 10/11/23
AG
Took you 4 edits to post a paragraph from google?
Reply Quote
Naveronski
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to Scooter_McGee • 1:30p, 10/11/23
AG
Nope, never divorced, nor have I had an affair, but I'm glad to see you're still thinking about me several days later.
Reply Quote
74OA
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to Naveronski • 1:35p, 10/11/23
AG
Naveronski said:
Took you 4 edits to post a paragraph from google?
Yep, it was one of my senior moments.
Reply Quote
1
Gunny456
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to PlanoAg98 • 10:34p, 10/15/23
AG
You maybe can tell her to ask her Attorney about " Alienation of Affection". She could possibly use this as leverage as she could make life uncomfortable and worrisome for the gal he is running around with.
This exact same thing happened to my niece and her attorney went after the woman her husband was having the affair with the A of A. It's been used more and more in cases of adultery.
It made a big difference for my niece as her husband did not want to get his mistress involved and he started agreeing to things after that.
I'm not an attorney but perhaps it might give your sister some leverage.
Reply Quote
1
rgleml
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
7:44p, 10/16/23
AG
She also gets half of his Social Security if she doesn't remarry.
Reply Quote
aggie4231
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
10:09p, 10/21/23
AG
I have a friend/former ex who started a relationship (after she separated from her husband and was waiting for the divorce was official) with an Air Force officer in a top secret type of MOS/position. The AF guy wanted to wait until the divorce was official/finalized before becoming physical or letting anything out only because it would be considered adultery in the military's eye and get him in hot water.
TAMUG'04 Marine Fisheries.
Reply Quote
1
Matt_ag98
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to OldArmyCT • 12:00a, 10/23/23
What I find odd is how does anything about her ex being disabled and compensated for it have anything to do with her? The rest I understand
Reply Quote
OldArmyCT
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to Matt_ag98 • 4:19a, 10/23/23
AG
Matt_ag98 said:
What I find odd is how does anything about her ex being disabled and compensated for it have anything to do with her? The rest I understand
BC once retired tax free VA comp comes into play and service members often use this to raise their pay while excluding ex-wives from their court appointed share. This happened to a friend of mine, her ex kept getting VA disability raises and her share was decreasing, the VA would not talk to her BC her name wasn't on the account except as a beneficiary. They finally caught it and she got a $15K check in the mail one day with no explanation, from the VA, and her monthly pay is also up.
Reply Quote
Matt_ag98
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to OldArmyCT • 11:52a, 10/23/23
OldArmyCT said:
Matt_ag98 said:
What I find odd is how does anything about her ex being disabled and compensated for it have anything to do with her? The rest I understand
BC once retired tax free VA comp comes into play and service members often use this to raise their pay while excluding ex-wives from their court appointed share. This happened to a friend of mine, her ex kept getting VA disability raises and her share was decreasing, the VA would not talk to her BC her name wasn't on the account except as a beneficiary. They finally caught it and she got a $15K check in the mail one day with no explanation, from the VA, and her monthly pay is also up.


That's right, forgot about the old way that was calculated, pretty sure for 98% of the time now the military retirement pay and any VA Disability checks are separate and distinct items (I think there is a way more wordy explanation on the DFAS site but that's the basic gist)
Reply Quote
USAFAg
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to Matt_ag98 • 1:50p, 10/23/23
AG
Matt_ag98 said:
OldArmyCT said:
Matt_ag98 said:
What I find odd is how does anything about her ex being disabled and compensated for it have anything to do with her? The rest I understand
BC once retired tax free VA comp comes into play and service members often use this to raise their pay while excluding ex-wives from their court appointed share. This happened to a friend of mine, her ex kept getting VA disability raises and her share was decreasing, the VA would not talk to her BC her name wasn't on the account except as a beneficiary. They finally caught it and she got a $15K check in the mail one day with no explanation, from the VA, and her monthly pay is also up.


That's right, forgot about the old way that was calculated, pretty sure for 98% of the time now the military retirement pay and any VA Disability checks are separate and distinct items (I think there is a way more wordy explanation on the DFAS site but that's the basic gist)


Yes, thats correct. Called " concurrent receipt". A member does not lose any retirement, pay dollar for dollar, when receiving disability renumeration.

12thFan/Websider Since 2003
Reply Quote
Pro Sandy
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
11:49p, 10/24/23
AG
If I got this call, I probably wouldn't take action. A random accusation with no evidence from the brother of a disgruntled estranged spouse. Calls like that happen all the time.

Even with evidence, would need to show how it affected good order and discipline. Don't see the elements of the charge being met in this.
Reply Quote
6
OldArmyCT
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to Pro Sandy • 5:15a, 10/25/23
AG
Pro Sandy said:
If I got this call, I probably wouldn't take action. A random accusation with no evidence from the brother of a disgruntled estranged spouse. Calls like that happen all the time.

Even with evidence, would need to show how it affected good order and discipline. Don't see the elements of the charge being met in this.
If a service member is screwing another service member and one or both is married there is your "good order and discipline" angle. If one is in a sensitive position, say a doctor screwing a patient who is a military spouse, the ramifications can be severe. Adultery is a UCMJ punishable offense, don't Courts Martial show up on ones DD-214.
Reply Quote
2
Aggiehunter34
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
9:16a, 10/31/23
S
She 100% deserves to get 1/2 his retirement. This isnt a secret that this is how it works. As a military retiree myself, my wife served just as much as I did. She maintainted the home while I was deployed and honestly probably had the harder job day in and day out.
Reply Quote
3
Refresh
Page 1 of 1
 
×
subscribe Verify your student status
See Subscription Benefits
Trial only available to users who have never subscribed or participated in a previous trial.