Welcome back. It's been a long time since we've seen you around these parts. Some of you left in 2011 after the school without a stand alone offer, did in fact have a stand alone offer. Some of you left in 2014 after Chollie 5 Values got earholed in borderline erotic fashion by Bielema. Some of you bolted after Chollie followed up a historic OU win with wearing that dumbass gold hat and losing to Kansas.
Welcome back. Sincerely, welcome back. You are excited about Tommy Tongue Kisser. Your recruiting was awesome last year in all the positions that don't mean anything to winning football games, but that's cool. Congrats.
I know you have been lurking here, typing posts, registering socks, ready to hit submit, just waiting for that time in your fandom lives where you felt the sips had the upper hand so you would have the ability to back up your weak ass smack. But alas, Your Summer of contentment is coming to an abrupt end, beginning with this post.
I am here to provide you clarity. I am here to offer you truth. I am here to open your mind like a stomach mutation baby Cuato and you are Arnold on Mars.
You think Texas is THE flagship in Texas? You think you are the gold standard? Let me ass you a question Ace Ventura....
Does the gold standard of anything spend any time copying someone they consider sub standard? Hell no. Right now, you are saying to yoself, "Aw hell naw, is this dumbass about to accuse us of copying ****?"
You hired Chollie to combat sumlin's blackness.
You thought Mack lost his touch with the bruh athlete.
You wasted tens of millions copying us.
Getting Malik was supposed to change things.
You changed your social media stance to combat WRTS and AggieFBlife
You come up with the goofy revolUTion schtick. Why does the gold standard need to stage a revolution?
Don't shake your head no. Admit it, it's ok. And for those of you who don't believe. Let me let you into the next iteration of your imitation. Jimbo is going to turn us from finesse to physical. We are trying to compete in the SEC.
And even though you are trying to win the basketball league of big 12 football. Sooner rather than later, as Jimbo begins to dominate the message with toughness and substance....You will abandon whatever it is you are doing, and you will claim to be the tough team in Texas. That is how you will know. When you copy Jimbo's message, you will know. You will know that your program has nothing going for it, and it has been that way since Justin Tucker got carried off the field.
Welcome back. Sincerely, welcome back. You are excited about Tommy Tongue Kisser. Your recruiting was awesome last year in all the positions that don't mean anything to winning football games, but that's cool. Congrats.
I know you have been lurking here, typing posts, registering socks, ready to hit submit, just waiting for that time in your fandom lives where you felt the sips had the upper hand so you would have the ability to back up your weak ass smack. But alas, Your Summer of contentment is coming to an abrupt end, beginning with this post.
I am here to provide you clarity. I am here to offer you truth. I am here to open your mind like a stomach mutation baby Cuato and you are Arnold on Mars.
You think Texas is THE flagship in Texas? You think you are the gold standard? Let me ass you a question Ace Ventura....
Does the gold standard of anything spend any time copying someone they consider sub standard? Hell no. Right now, you are saying to yoself, "Aw hell naw, is this dumbass about to accuse us of copying ****?"
You hired Chollie to combat sumlin's blackness.
You thought Mack lost his touch with the bruh athlete.
You wasted tens of millions copying us.
Getting Malik was supposed to change things.
You changed your social media stance to combat WRTS and AggieFBlife
You come up with the goofy revolUTion schtick. Why does the gold standard need to stage a revolution?
Don't shake your head no. Admit it, it's ok. And for those of you who don't believe. Let me let you into the next iteration of your imitation. Jimbo is going to turn us from finesse to physical. We are trying to compete in the SEC.
And even though you are trying to win the basketball league of big 12 football. Sooner rather than later, as Jimbo begins to dominate the message with toughness and substance....You will abandon whatever it is you are doing, and you will claim to be the tough team in Texas. That is how you will know. When you copy Jimbo's message, you will know. You will know that your program has nothing going for it, and it has been that way since Justin Tucker got carried off the field.
